I'm morbidly obese with possible sleep apnea and undergoing a tonsillectomy. I'm afraid I can die.?

It is prudent to have that discussion with the anesthesiologist. They're going to ask you about sleep apnea anyway and they're going to examine your upper airway. Yes, sometimes it is very difficult to manage an airway in a large person with sleep apnea. But that's part of anesthesia and that's why they spend an awful lot of time learning to manage difficult airways.

That said, it would be better to have this done in a hospital rather than an outpatient surgery center. They are not usually as well-equipped to deal with an airway that gets too complicated and goes bad. Not that they can't handle airway problems, just not nearly as well as a large hospital.

For whatever reason, we seem to think of having your tonsils out as no big deal. In adults, it most definitely is. It can be a very big deal. It is not without it's complications. Yes, people die from tonsillectomies. You might remember last year there was a story that made the national news about a 13 year old girl who was declared brain dead but whose family would not take her off the vent? The fight went on for a little while and it was in the news for a few weeks. What she died from was complications from a tonsillectomy.

I've personally worked to resuscitate an adult who was s/p a tonsillectomy. I don't say that to scare you further but I'm also not going to lie to you -- yes, having your tonsils out is a big deal and yes, people have died from it. Your size and potential airway issues do increase that risk. It would indeed be prudent to have that discussion with both your surgeon and anesthesiologist. If you aren't happy with the answers you're getting or are otherwise uncomfortable with having the procedure, then reschedule until you are OK with it. It is not an emergency procedure that has to be done right away. You can talk with your doc first. If you're having significant anxiety about it, then it is certainly your right to postpone that procedure until you are comfortable with it.

Best wishes,
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Do not cancel the surgery but you must tell them you have sleep apnea. The danger is after the surgery when you are left in a hospital bed to wake up. Because you have sleep apnea there is a risk of apnea at this time and because you are still partly aneasthetised you may not be able to breathe. Therefore with your condition, as long as you tell them, they will keep you in for about an hour longer and they will put a sensor on your finger so they know immediately if you stop breathing.
They know what they are doing because they do this every day, but be open about all the details of your health so they can help you.

No, my mother is 5feet and well over 400lbs. She was fine.