Extremely nosy neighbor, what can we do?

2016-05-11 3:03 pm
My husband and I live in a semi-detached home with our daughter, my mother is staying for a few months. In the two years we've lived here our neighbor has always been overbearing but her behavior is escalating. She used to come into our back garden as though it was her own until we put a gate up. Now she walks in our front garden and stands by our bedroom windows to listen in at all times of day and night. I also believe she checks our post box when she checks her own.

If our neighbor can ever see us, she watches us. For example my family have been sitting in the garden minding our own business and on one day in the space of say 7 hours, the neighbor watched us in excess of 15 times. This involves her having to use one of her deck chairs, dragged along to our wall, which she then stands on to watch us. If we speak to her she ignores us. If we ignore her she watches us for minutes at a time. If she ever comes to our door for something she is curt with us and normally bossy, asking us to clear up leaves or put our bins somewhere she'd prefer.

We put a bamboo fence up in our garden for some privacy but she stares through the gaps at us... It's really getting me down and I feel like a zoo animal. What can we do? Thanks if you've read this far.

回答 (42)

2016-05-11 3:24 pm
I think I'd be going to court with this.
2016-05-11 11:16 pm
She does it because you let her.

Get the cops to deal with it - it's trespassing.
2016-05-11 4:58 pm
as long as it is in your yard, put motion sensitive sprinkler system and tell her it is to keep cats from pooping in your yard.

You can always grow bean, black-eyed susans, cardinal climbers or other fast growing vines on your bamboo fence which will block her view but give pretty flowers.

It does sound pathological and like she has nothing to do. Does she have any family? Does she have a TV? Maybe you are your only source of entertainment - which I fully understand that you don't want to be, but if you want a solution, it would be best to know what the problem is. If she has normal relatives, maybe you could also talk to them?
2016-05-11 5:21 pm
Grow a backbone and set some boundaries with this person. Speak with a lawyer and see what legal action can be taken
2016-05-14 1:28 am
Documentation first, contacting outside help second. Nowadays we have all kinds of image capturing devices - use a few. She peeks over the fence, start filming, ask what she wants, then her ignoring you. Get a good 15-30 minutes of different episodes. Especially the 'listening at your bedroom window' part. Make it quite clear to her that you are doing this and why. Maybe even apologize during filming, that you have tried to get her to stop and now you feel that you have to document her behavior.

She's peeking in your mailbox? Federal offence! Put a temporary forward or vacation hold on your mail. Two days in, put a dummy envelope with the message, "keep it up, Mrs. So-n-So, and the authorities will be contacted" written on the outside. Then do it.
2016-05-12 3:30 pm
Sounds like she may have mental issues/dementia beyond her own control. If she has family members living with her or who visit, I'd consider pulling one of them aside, and asking if she is ok, outlining (kindly) some of the things you have observed. Maybe she just needs some caretaking and supervision.
2016-05-12 3:21 pm
It sounds as if the woman has dementia. She may believe that you are strangers living on her property, or that your are her "servants" or something like that. If you have a homeowners' association, tell them what you are experiencing. If they are no help, then you might try this: if this is an elderly woman who is living by herself, call the association for the elderly (they're called different things in different places, but look them up in your phone book), and tell them you are concerned about your neighbor's behavior and you're afraid she might not have all of her mental facalties. Ask them to do a "welfare" check on her. They will come out an d do an assessment, and you might find that this is actually the problem. Find out her name from the homeowners' association and not only speak to her but when she gets on your property, engage her in a conversation and then gently guide her back to her own house. I believe there is genuinely something wrong with her. We had a neighbor like this, and everyone in the neighborhood knew she was "the crazy lady". She recently burned her house to the ground by leaving some clothes on top of a space heater. If a neighbor hadn't been watching and saw the smoke, she would have burned to death.
2016-05-11 8:38 pm
Asking her real loud if she needs something when she is peeping will let her know she has been seen.
Going to the window and shouting real loud, "Hi there neighbor, can we help you?" should receive a reaction.
She's a lonely woman that needs something to do.
2016-05-11 6:55 pm
Start with the sprinkler idea Barnes gives. If that doesn't work, get a good video camera and start documenting so you can show the legal authorities. Sounds like she may have mental issues.
2016-05-11 8:29 pm
I think I'd have some fun with that. I'd set up easy access( to you) water jets to spray in the spots she uses to look at you. Or keep long range water guns at hand.
2016-05-12 11:14 pm
She sounds possessed by a demon. Do the sprinkler idea but use holy water. She may seize, but that's normal for a demon.. for real though, pray because she could be one.
2016-05-12 3:43 pm
semi-detached homes suck.

I would advise cursing and just being overly obnoxious. This will annoy the b tich!
2016-05-12 2:36 am
You can tell her if she would respect your privacy, it would be appreciated. Then, hopefully she will take the hint. If not, you can talk to the Neighbor or Homeowner's Association in your area or talk to the other neighbors about her and see what can be done.
2016-05-12 1:16 am
Maybe she is lonely and is hinting that she d like to become friends/a friend of your family. The trapped feeling does sound awful, but what if you said hi and invited her to join you? Maybe that s what she is expecting/what she would do. So, she is either psycho or wants friends
2016-05-12 12:21 am
Move, she is a phsyco and will kill you in your sleep
2016-05-11 6:39 pm
The sprinkler is a good idea. I would supplement it with fire crackers on alternate days.
2016-05-12 3:58 pm
I would presume that your neighbor is rather suspicious and sensitive ; therefore, you should make the acquaintance of her so as to become familiar with. Then, she might have some change afterwards.
Yip
2016-05-16 9:22 pm
Sounds like paranode. They usually think you are trying to kill them or rob them. They are then trying to find out your planning. This would explain why she is listening in you bedroom. I would tell her how you are feeling but don't be to harsh and give her good reasoning why you are feeling this. Don't be to harsh though because they are very sensitive. If she continues just remind her kindly and don't let it get heated until she started it. After that get a camera system for outdoors. I recommend http://www.bestbuy.com/site/swann-4-channel-4-camera-indoor-outdoor-dvr-surveillance-system-white/4518112.p?id=1219756375387&skuId=4518112. Set up the camera and set your self up as bait (sit on the porch and wait for her to watch you. Be sure the camera can see you. After that tell her that if she does not stop the police will be contacted. You want to do this in a stern voice so she knows you are not joking. If she continues go inside like you are done with the outdoors (go inside normally). After you are inside check the cameras and make sure you got good footage. If you did contact the police. If not try going out to the porch again. After the police come you can show them the footage and they will take her down to the station and give her a ticket. Also in most states if you purchase anything to prove a crime the criminal will have to pay you back for how much you spent on the prof. This is in most states not all.

Best of Wishes!
2016-05-16 3:46 am
go over and kick her in the crotch.
2016-05-16 2:41 am
Call police
2016-05-14 9:03 pm
Have a sprinkler you can open from inside the house and watch her run.
2016-05-14 7:53 pm
sounds like your neighbor has had someone who she was very close with live in your house before. she is probably just watching how you treat the house because she is reminded of someone who used to live there and wants you to take good care of it
2016-05-14 3:09 pm
pay backs wait till dark no witneses and bash the **** out of her
2016-05-13 10:30 pm
i think she is a witch make ur sprinklers turn in her direction if she melts then you'll know,
but i guess u should really get a fence that she cant see through and make it taller than her, cuz that is really creepy
2016-05-13 2:07 pm
water the yard and hit the fence now and again make a game of it and watch her some times from a ladder but she may kill you so just ignore her
2016-05-13 7:17 am
Shoot her down
2016-05-13 6:01 am
Call the police. She is clearly breaking some law and could be charged for it.
2016-05-12 6:32 pm
Report her to the police department.
2016-05-12 5:12 pm
try telling her to f*ck off and stop snooping--love the sprinkler idea--gold
2016-05-12 4:31 pm
Whenever you see her behind the fence, get your hose and just happen to be watering that particular area, and, oops, went a little too high and hit the fence...a lot.

If she keeps getting soaked she will find something else to do.
2016-05-12 12:01 pm
Invite her over and make ax friend. Sounds like your more trying just isolate her.
2016-05-15 6:38 pm
Confront them with dishing their behavior. No one is lily white these days!
2016-05-15 1:02 am
It's paranode or is spying on you .How ever it may she is alone and need the counchenses .Mostly people that live alone are get paranoia ,they think other people are talking about them or even planed to rob or kill them .This type of behavior is common in most cities .
2016-05-14 9:51 pm
You're welcome. Consider a wind chime outside. A low playing radio other places.
She will give up when she can't hear you. Hang a curtain over the gaps when you are
outside.
2016-05-14 4:53 am
Stay inside or dont pay attention to her
2016-05-14 4:04 am
1. Ignore.

2. Move to a new neighbor.
2016-05-13 2:28 pm
talk to them & understand them
2016-05-13 11:00 am
talk to them
2016-05-13 8:31 am
You likely can't change her behavior so I suggest you just ignore it.
2016-05-13 3:36 am
Bear it though it's difficult.
2016-05-12 1:22 am
Move
2016-05-11 8:16 pm
Installed sprinklers. Turn them on when you notice her outside.


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