How do i know whats god plan is for me, what if i already mess it up?

hi i'm a slient girl who doesnt talk much cause im to shy if i do i get anxiety i been seeing my psychological doctor now for over 3 years he diagnosed me with anxiety and paranoid schizophrenic i been bullied in 5th grade for my curly hair and the way i look i would come home crying by the beginning of high school i started skipping classes so my parents and i move to a new town where i got a part time job everything was ok until a new boss took over who threatened over the phone on my days off if i didnt come in for work i was told i would be written up for it, she told my co workers im too dumb to read, etc.i wouldnt sleep at night but anyways I always wore clean uniforms, show up on time, done all my work, etc. Well recently i had an argument at home with my parents so there was a house call i love my parents cousins and friends even people i dont like cause i try to follow jesus the best I can. I love god so much i pray every night in summer i volunteer at an animal shelter i donate my last dollar to charity ,etc. Im not perfect though every mistake i make i go over and over it in mind before going to bed along with mean hurtful words about myself. But anyways the cops took my parents side they dont listen to me much cause my parents say ah sh!t here go before i have a chance to speak or ethier say they dont listen cause i repeat alot of the things i say. My mom and the cop said if i would just behave better things would go better.i only had one bestfriend for 14 yrs