My step daughters bio mother isn't taking her on vacation with their family, She had asked us 2 months ago and we told her?
"not at this time" well she is going in one week and we said yes she could go even though she only gets her every other weekend ( I think we are being nice by giving her this extra time) well she told us it was too late and she asked months ago and did not make plans to have her go with them and the budget is spent now. I think she is being a big b**ch by doing this, she also told us she wouldnt want the drama and didn't want to have to monitor everything they say or do for "fear" it would get twisted around and more drama from us. So now her daughter who lives with us is mad at us and her mother but we never said "no" exactly we said not at this time, I feel like her mother should not have gone and made plans like this without including her. Do you agree?
I mean what kind of parent would do that, we said "NOT AT THIS TIME" not no never. If anyone wants to start drama it is her by not including her child!
She isn't going to bring her own daughter on their family vacation!?
2016-04-29 2:49 pm
回答 (6)
2016-04-29 3:11 pm
Uhhh how was she supposed to know she should have assumed your answer would change from a "no" to a "yes" in between planning the vacation and getting ready to go on it?
2016-04-29 3:47 pm
I think none of the 'adults' in this situation are communicating like actual adults.
2016-04-29 3:42 pm
Have you considered that she has a point by saying that you create drama? Be the bigger person here. Tell your daughter that you're sorry she's caught up in this, and you're sorry you weren't more clear with the mom. Then do something special with your daughter (Yes, daughter, not just "stepdaughter"). Take her for a manicure, or out to lunch, or have her dad take her to a theme park or something.
And take some co-parenting classes so you learn how to communicate with the mom.
And really, what did you mean by "Not at this time"? Was she supposed to change all her plans in the hopes that you thought that August was better than April or something? "Not at this time" sounds like "no." It wasn't a yes when she needed a yes in order to make her plans. If you meant, "We need a week to think about it" you should have said that. If you meant that a week away was too long, you should have said that. If you meant that she could do it next year but not this year, you should have said that. But you had to realize that anything other than "yes" meant that your kid wasn't going. So look at your role in this, don't just blame the mom.
And take some co-parenting classes so you learn how to communicate with the mom.
And really, what did you mean by "Not at this time"? Was she supposed to change all her plans in the hopes that you thought that August was better than April or something? "Not at this time" sounds like "no." It wasn't a yes when she needed a yes in order to make her plans. If you meant, "We need a week to think about it" you should have said that. If you meant that a week away was too long, you should have said that. If you meant that she could do it next year but not this year, you should have said that. But you had to realize that anything other than "yes" meant that your kid wasn't going. So look at your role in this, don't just blame the mom.
2016-04-30 9:26 am
I think the bio-mom has a point; you are creating drama no matter what she does or doesn't do. She asked in advance and made plans based on the answer you gave her. Now you have changed your mind and are judging her for not foreseeing that. If she had made plans to take her daughter 2 months ago, I get the impression that you would somehow find a why to say no and be upset about it too. When you said "not at this time" it was pretty clear that you weren't saying yes go ahead and buy a ticket for the girl.
Just own up to it instead of trying to absolve yourself of blame. Apologize to the girl.
Just own up to it instead of trying to absolve yourself of blame. Apologize to the girl.
2016-04-30 6:39 am
shes being a jerk by doing that and you can tell her i said so
2016-04-29 2:56 pm
then it's a rendezvous.
she's cheating on dad.
she's cheating on dad.
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