Bio mother not taking own child on their family vacation?

She was making plans and you said "not at this time." That does mean no. You are in the wrong... If you said not at the time and you have never allowed it before, she was correct in assuming she should go on and make her plans. I have NO idea how you are twisting this around to make it HER fault!!!!

You have "...never in the past let her go on vacations with her", so you blame her for not accepted that "not at this time" really meant, "keep crawling to us and maybe someday we might say yes."
Ok, I get it. You won't let her go on vacations with her child and you don't think she should go on vacations without her child. So she should never be allowed to take vacations?
Madam, you are the reigning Queen of Drama. You have this poor woman in a no-win situation and you are trying to make her daughter hate her mother for a situation you have created.
Cough up the money for the daughter to be included on the next vacation mom takes since it is likely too late for her to go on this one. Never again tell mom that her daughter cannot go. Apologize for the harm you have caused and stop being arrogant and living up to the worse interpretation of the role you hold as step-mother.

Way to go.
I put this in the realm of beotch eveil evil stepmother behavior.

1. She ONLY gets rights to her daughter every other weekend so why a full week?
BULL CRAP
2. Not at this time? She asked months ago and the answer was NOT AT THIS TIME? That means NO. Not at this time means make plans without her because I'm being a selfish beotch.
Now you are denying it? What happend to a week later when " we thought about it and maybe it would be all right. Even better would have been YEAH sure, how can we make it happen? No that's not your method... not at this time.

3. Vacation plans made months ago which may or may not include, air fare, hotels, tickets, family or adult had to be made MONTHS ago. DO NOT blame this on her for doing exactly whay you told her to, not at this time......

4. How about you bail yourself out now with, We'll pay for her if you can work it in now. Its not that much is it and beside you have more money.

What a pain in the butt you must be.
You used the girl a some sort of pawn for whatever reason, not currently understood and do not understand why anyone thinks you are in the wrong.
Your house must be just a bundle of joy.

edit---- wait.....let me see if I can absorb what you just wrote. You have never let her daughter go with her mother before on vacation before but do not think her mother should go on vacation without her..........
Does that mean you don't think her mother should go on vacations at all?
What is your purpose here, because if its making yourself look like a ignorant pain in the butt you are doing a great job of it .......carry on. Everyone will love you for it.

NOW I GET IT......You wanted her mother to beg. Apparently she does not grovel enough for you, is that it? You get to exert power over her through her daughter. Now I see it.

What you are doing isn't drama. Drama is far too nice a word.
Your attitude is despicable and in time your stepdaughter will learn to hate you when she gets old enough to figure out the dynamic.
When that happens you will deserve the ranchor she will heap on you for being you.
I feel so bad for the girl.

Please tell me this is a troll, you aren't really this ignorant, are you?

Sorry, but people plan vacations. The number of rooms. Amount of tickets, etc. Space in the car. A week at Disney could cost about $1000. Are you willing to donate that for your step-daughter to be able to go?

Rather than be big right at the beginning by saying "of course she can go with you on a family vacation", you and your husband played control games. "Not at this time"? What the hell does that mean? This is the time they were going! Not at this time DOES mean NO! Do you not see that? Maybe they had to buy airline tickets or reserve rooms, or buy show tickets. Whatever. I'm sure you'll explain how they could accommodate her now at additional expense, but maybe they added a day or two to the trip since there were fewer people going.

I don't know. But you are taking no responsibility for this problem and you and your husband have plenty, if not most of it. She planned a trip 2 months ago and with one week out, you're generously granting permission? Really? Have you ever been on vacation?

If it's about money, apologize and offer to pay for it. But whatever you do, stop bashing the mother like she's a criminal for not taking her "own child on their family vacation" when she TRIED TO, but YOU were being problematic.

Apologize to the child as well, because your insecurity and need to be in control may have cost her a vacation. She SHOULD be mad at you.

You guys said not at this time which means NO, you can't just randomly add in people at the last minute on a big vacation. It can cost $1000's for last minute plane tickets. Take responsibility for what you said and apologize to his daughter for the misunderstanding.

Making it difficult or hard to plan for the other parent to take them on vacation only hurts the child. The only thing I agree with this that her Mom probably could have bugged you a little more about the vacation and been a little more specific right before she finalized plans. That said she shouldn't really have to do that every time she wants to take her daughter on vacation.

This is a situation that could have been settled months ago. Instead of saying "not at this time" you should have said yes. Plans have been made so its too late to try shoving step child off on her mom...... BTW since you don't believe it would cost that much to add step daughter last minute and you have more money you should have offered to pay for her but you didn't and youre the one making a big deal of this. Seems to me the bio mom isn't causing the drama, its you.

i think she should take her child too and its wrong not to

You are in the wrong.... your initial responce was... based only on what you report... was a clear indication of your not agreeing... for most people a "vacation" requires a good deal of planing... and finances are very much an issue.... and certain things need to be decided well in advance... even weeks or months ahead.... so you shut down any planing with your negative response... I know from personal experience in dealing with this kind of split family planning.... that adding another person at the last minute is often just impossible.... motels can require reservations months in advance... and no changes possible.... many options were shut down by your initial response..... your fault..... sorry... you ge no sympathy from me.....