Discussing money issues. My boyfriend makes a lot more than me.?

2016-04-20 5:33 am

I've been dating a guy for a few months now. He's incredibly serious about me and says he would love for us to be engaged in a year from now since we're both at that stage of life. In our 30's college completed, stable jobs.

I'm a teacher and make ~50,000 year. He's an engineer at a leading tech company and makes $150,000/year. I pay four our entertainment about 1/3 of the time since I honestly can't afford more -even that's pushing it when 1/3 of the time costs $60 for dinner and a movie.

He made the comment one day that once we're married it would be nice since we could split the rent. The problem is that his rent is $3,500 for an incredibly small/stuffy/depressing apartment in the san francisco bay area. I can't pay $1750 a month and if I have to, it's going to make me think twice about marrying him. After all, I'd have to be the one to relocate (we live an hour away) since all the big tech companies are in the bay area.

I was thinking about finding what percentage of his income the rent is and applying the same percentage to my check. Does that seem fair? He's a really great guy, but I'm afraid thrifty. His friends at work call him "cheep geek".

回答 (1)

CrustyCurmudgeon

2016-04-20 6:02 am

One of the requisites of a successful marriage is that "yours" and "mine" become "ours". In a real marriage, the checking account is joint, the leases/titles to real estate are signed by and titled to both, and mutual decisions are made about all expenditures. You guys might consider per-marital counseling to iron out your differences.
My wife and I quelled some of this controversy by opening individual "allowance" bank accounts. We each get $400.00/month to spend as we wish. We each have a credit card that is linked to our individual "fun" accounts. That works for us, but it's probably better to have a third party involved in ironing out the basics of your financial future as a married couple.

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