Hi,
I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend since September. I hadn't been in a relationship before ( I'm 22) prior to this, as I hadn't really found what I wanted in a relationship, amongst other things.
I'm the kind of person who doesn't express affection much in words, usually actions. For instance I got her a really expensive bracelet for her birthday from a designer I knew she liked. Not to impress her, because it was something I thought she would generally like and suited her. I also went to her brothers party (where I was the only black person, and bought him a nice tie set) to make her happy and to show I'm making an effort.
In the background of all this I've got my own issues. Making sure my transplated kidney stays healthy, doing a Masters degree and working part time. I don't put any of my issues on her.
She says I don't make effort because I haven't seen her when she's at university often (even though she knows I work weekends and I see her a lot in London, where we both live).
What should I do?
What should I do in this situation? Is my girlfriend being unreasonable?
2016-04-05 11:27 pm
回答 (3)
2016-04-06 1:03 am
Here's the thing: people express love in different ways. If you haven't heard of the Five Love Languages, google it. It basically explains that there are five different ways that people express their love, and that some ways are more meaningful to certain people than others. It sounds like your love languages are gifts and acts of service, whereas hers sounds to be quality time. So, while you are busy doing things that express your love, she's feeling like you're not being loving. It's a frustrating thing to deal with, but I would check into that theory and see if you can understand it from that perspective.
Unfortunately, a lot of relationships end prematurely because both partners feel unloved due to differing love languages; both parties feel they're giving their all and receiving nothing. But with some work, these relationships can flourish. Good luck!
Unfortunately, a lot of relationships end prematurely because both partners feel unloved due to differing love languages; both parties feel they're giving their all and receiving nothing. But with some work, these relationships can flourish. Good luck!
2016-04-05 11:41 pm
Ditch the b*tch. Straight up. Don't get mad at me, you asked what to do.
Sorry buddy, but you're in love with a self-worshipping drama queen. Those relationships never end well, so you might as well cut your losses and end this one quickly. Because yes, she is being unreasonable.
Sorry buddy, but you're in love with a self-worshipping drama queen. Those relationships never end well, so you might as well cut your losses and end this one quickly. Because yes, she is being unreasonable.
2016-04-05 11:34 pm
If she can't tell that you are putting in effort, then either she's not the right girl for you or maybe you aren't putting in much effort. A guy who really loves a girl would make time to go see his gf, maybe not every weekend but at least once a month/once every two months. I'm sure you are very busy so if you really don't have time then she should be able to understand that. My advice is to talk to her about it, confront the situation and talk it out. Explain yourself and hopefully she will understand. If she doesn't, move on.
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