I do everything for him. We've been together for years, and every time I bring up marriage or children, he thinks I'm being rediculous. It may be slightly my fault for dating someone a year and a half younger than me. But I'm not getting any younger, and with his life plan of paying off all our debts, including our house, then saving up to travel together, then saving up for a ring, then getting married, then having children. By the time he's ready I'll be ancient. It's really pissing me off, but I love him, he's my stupid soul mate. Our friends are completely jealous of how amazing our relationship is. Most people assume we're married when they meet us. We have a house, good jobs, we're best friends. I don't get what his stupid problem is, and I hate that this ball is in his court. I've literally thought about buying the damn ring myself and giving it to him and telling him, "here! All you have to do is think of/or Google a slightly creative or surprising way to give this back to me." But he'd still probably wait until I'm grey and infertile.
What do I do to knock the responsibility into him?
Why are guys so resistant to commitment these days?
2016-03-29 5:47 pm
回答 (3)
2016-03-29 5:50 pm
Why are GUYS resistant to commitment? Tip: we are not all the same. A better question would be, why do YOU, a person who WANTS a commitment, stay in a relationship with a guy who doesn't?!?
2016-03-29 5:56 pm
Have a meaningful talk with him about what you require of him in order to remain in the relationship. I've been with my guy for 14 years. We've talked about marriage but he always had a reason as to why we shouldn't. I made the sacrifice of being with the one I love but not being married even though its something I want. Finally i just couldn't anymore and I told him he had 3 options. Option 1: He doesn't want to get married at all which at that point we end the relationship. Option 2: He will get married just not on my time frame at which point we stop living together and continue to date but live separately( not like a married couple) so he wouldn't get the benefits of marriage without the commitment. Option 3: Become engaged in the next year and married a year after that. He chose option 3. A good book that helped me with this was "A Little Bit Married, How to Know when its Time to Walk Down the Aisle or Out the Door" by Hannah Seligson.
2016-03-29 5:54 pm
This situation will drag on for years whilst you permit him.
OK see his point of paying off mortgage and bills etc etc, but there is never an end to it.
Best advice is for you to analyse your incomes and outgoings, and try to see if you can live on just ONE income for 1-2 years. If the answer is YES, set it all out on paper (or computer) and let him see, financially you can still manage. Then ask him "What's the problem". Guys are sometimes a bit apprehensive !!
OK see his point of paying off mortgage and bills etc etc, but there is never an end to it.
Best advice is for you to analyse your incomes and outgoings, and try to see if you can live on just ONE income for 1-2 years. If the answer is YES, set it all out on paper (or computer) and let him see, financially you can still manage. Then ask him "What's the problem". Guys are sometimes a bit apprehensive !!
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