Am I obligated to invite my father to my wedding?
2016-03-28 10:34 pm
I had a bad history with my father. He was a drunk and verbally abusive man. He punched me when he was drunk i was 16 at the time. my wedding is in july of 2017 and my mom says i have to invite him cause he is my father. but he is just so nasty and he is drunk all the time. i honestly see my moms bf (who i call my stepdad) as my true father. they been dating for 7 years and he is a wonderful father figure towards me. i rather have him or my brother walk me down the aisle...is that terrible? im a very nice person despite having Satan (dad) who raised me but i just cant see a point in destroying my wedding cause his behavior is so disgusting and vile.
回答 (5)
2016-03-28 10:36 pm
Do not invite your father if you don't want him there. Ignore what your mom says, YOU have final say.
2016-03-28 11:04 pm
You can have whoever you want walk you down the aisle, whether your father attends or not; many people in your situation ask a brother or stepdad.
You do not have to invite your dad at all, but it would be the appropriate thing to do. You can't change your parentage, and this may be what your dad needs to realize what kind of a dad he is - that may sound fairytale, but I've had at least two friends whose absentee or abusive dads started to make amends after the engagement.
If you're concerned about him showing up drunk or causing a scene, ask a brother or male friend ahead of time to be "security" and keep an eye out. If he gets out of hand, this "security" can ideally already have a plan for escorting him out discreetly and quietly. This way, you will not be spending your wedding day worried to death about it, and if he doesn't present a problem, so much the better.
Best wishes, and congratulations.
You do not have to invite your dad at all, but it would be the appropriate thing to do. You can't change your parentage, and this may be what your dad needs to realize what kind of a dad he is - that may sound fairytale, but I've had at least two friends whose absentee or abusive dads started to make amends after the engagement.
If you're concerned about him showing up drunk or causing a scene, ask a brother or male friend ahead of time to be "security" and keep an eye out. If he gets out of hand, this "security" can ideally already have a plan for escorting him out discreetly and quietly. This way, you will not be spending your wedding day worried to death about it, and if he doesn't present a problem, so much the better.
Best wishes, and congratulations.
2016-03-28 10:59 pm
its your wedding, do whatever you want and if they dont like it thats their problem
2016-03-28 10:53 pm
Don't invite him. Have a talk with your mother, maybe after the wedding. Tell her that due to your father's abuse, you don't want him in your life. You do want her and her boyfriend in your life.
Keep in mind that part of her denial is about her, not just you. She doesn't want to believe that she married (and stayed married) to a man who abused her daughter. So when you're telling her that you don't want him in your life, she may be dealing with her own issues around what happened that might cause her to deny it or even to shift blame onto you. When this happens, point it out without fighting back.
Keep in mind that part of her denial is about her, not just you. She doesn't want to believe that she married (and stayed married) to a man who abused her daughter. So when you're telling her that you don't want him in your life, she may be dealing with her own issues around what happened that might cause her to deny it or even to shift blame onto you. When this happens, point it out without fighting back.
2016-03-28 10:39 pm
No, you are not. He has not earned that role in your life. If he was in recovery, it would be different. And be honest with him about why he is not invited. Maybe it will motivate him. Otherwise, he could ruin your wedding. Have step dad walk you down the aisle if he has been more of a father to you.
It is your day and up to you and your fiance. But from what you have said, he should not be attending. Tell him now what you think so he has 18 months to get his act together.
It is your day and up to you and your fiance. But from what you have said, he should not be attending. Tell him now what you think so he has 18 months to get his act together.
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