需要 5 個英文笑話 ,盡量減短一點,大概20-30秒左右,希望能附上中文翻譯,謝謝?

1.Husband: Before I married you, I never thought of saving money.
Wife: And now?
Husband: Now I'm thinking About how much I could have saved if I hadn't married you.

丈夫：在娶你進門之前，我從來沒有想過要存錢。
妻子：那現在呢?
丈夫：現在我在想，要是沒有娶你的話，我可以存多少錢。
2.Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year.
Customer: Good gracious! In a year?
Palmist: Yes, but I can't say in which.

手相大師：你手上的生命線顯示出你還有一年將會死去。
顧客：天哪，一年後？
手相大師：是的，可是我不能說是哪一年。
3.Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.
Patient: I know. But you are standing on my foot!

牙醫：請不要再叫了，我都還沒有碰著你的牙齒啊！
病人：但是，你知道嗎，你踩到我腳了！！！
4.Father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes
Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.

父親：你今天做了什麼來幫助你媽媽呢？
兒子：我做菜
女兒：我幫收拾殘局。