my life is now suffring frm 2 much problem.i want to study bt my parents wants me 2 marry.another problm is i luv a boy of my own.what to do?

every life has problem...some problem ends with life...here m in a condition to choose life or death. ..till now I cannot find a friend who can make me feel better. ..approximately 50 times per day I think about suicide. ..plc help me...motivate me to fight..I want to be self dependent by if my parents force me to marry then I'll only be a housewife. ..I don't want it...please help me