Heartbroken with herpes?
2016-02-17 4:31 am
My now ex because he just cheated with my cousin a few weeks ago says I gav him herpes. He's 23, he's been around. I lost my virginity to him last April, I was checked after and I had no stds, even before. Well I've never cheated I don't see how people can. One day I got sores down there they were so painful. I begged him to tell me if he had anything, he said he didn't but last January he went and got checked because he has a bump on his penis, he said his results came back negative. I was so devastated, I'm now 19, I've only had one boyfriend, and when I got the sores I went and got checked. They came back positive. He said that I got them from my sister not him, I think he's just trying to make himself feel better and it really hurts me. I do not have sex with my sister, so I don't see how it's possible. I feel worthless, he didn't even tell my cousin he had it, I did because I didn't want her to end up like me, but hers was my choice, I never knew and I trusted him. I just do not understand how he would think that.
回答 (3)
2016-02-18 2:43 am
1) You will be okay. You’re not going to believe me, but you will be okay. Months from now you will hardly be able to imagine how you feel right now, and that’s a good thing :)
2) Take control of your health. You are the captain of the ship that is your body (cheesy metaphor but bear with me). Take care of yourself, and arm yourself with the knowledge to do so. This is so, so important not only for feeling better physically and emotionally, but for making safe choices in future relationships.
3) The world does not have final call or final validation on whether or not you are smart, lovely, intelligent, beautiful, handsome, or sexy. You do. Stigma exists because of lack of education–and you are so much more than that pathetic stigma.
Keep dating, and you will find someone who wants to be with you regardless of your condition. There are certainly some who wouldn't mind keeping the intimacy level just short of doing things that could transmit the virus. And of those people, it's likely that at least one will come around, and say, "Hey, I understand there's a risk, but I'm crazy about you, so I'm willing to take it."
Depending on your dating style, you might look for another person who knows he or she has herpes, if only to avoid having to discuss it. If you already use dating services or personal ads, you can also use any of those specifically for people with genital herpes.
2) Take control of your health. You are the captain of the ship that is your body (cheesy metaphor but bear with me). Take care of yourself, and arm yourself with the knowledge to do so. This is so, so important not only for feeling better physically and emotionally, but for making safe choices in future relationships.
3) The world does not have final call or final validation on whether or not you are smart, lovely, intelligent, beautiful, handsome, or sexy. You do. Stigma exists because of lack of education–and you are so much more than that pathetic stigma.
Keep dating, and you will find someone who wants to be with you regardless of your condition. There are certainly some who wouldn't mind keeping the intimacy level just short of doing things that could transmit the virus. And of those people, it's likely that at least one will come around, and say, "Hey, I understand there's a risk, but I'm crazy about you, so I'm willing to take it."
Depending on your dating style, you might look for another person who knows he or she has herpes, if only to avoid having to discuss it. If you already use dating services or personal ads, you can also use any of those specifically for people with genital herpes.
2016-02-17 12:48 pm
If he doesn't have genital herpes then he could have oral herpes, which is the virus that causes cold sores and fever blisters. They can be passed from his mouth to your genitals during oral sex. It's more likely to happen while or around the time there's a beak out, but there's even s a small chance of passing it on when there's no signs or symptoms of it. Some people have it but don't get break outs but there still able to pass it on. Also if some one doesn't have signs or symptoms of a break out and was never tested for it then it's possible for them know to know that they have it. Or was in denial of his cold sores being herpes.
You should ask him to get tested for herpes, which isn't always included in a routine std exam. Unless there's a break out it can be tricky to test for.
All you can do is try to accept what happened and move on. Some one out there will be willing to accept and love you, just be honest with them.
You should ask him to get tested for herpes, which isn't always included in a routine std exam. Unless there's a break out it can be tricky to test for.
All you can do is try to accept what happened and move on. Some one out there will be willing to accept and love you, just be honest with them.
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