My fiancé took pictures of me sleeping and now I don't know what to do?

單身及約會
2016-01-06 7:59 pm
My fiancé has a better phone than I do so I was taking pictures on it. When I was looking at the pictures I started looking through his picture too not to snoop or anything but just because he had a lot of pictures of us. But then I ended up seeing several pictures of me sleeping. I usually sleep in underwear and a T-shirt. In the pictures he had pulled my shirt up over my breasts but thankfully left my underwear on. I kind of flipped out on him asking why he had pictures like that. He turned the tables and started yelling at me for going through his phone. We both tried to calm down and talk it out. The thing is he doesn't think anything is wrong. His reasoning is that I send him pics all the time so these aren't different. I explained that I never show my face when I srnd those types of pictures and that if he is taking them secretly it makes me wonder why he wants them. He is a truck driver and is out of town a lot so he says he just uses the pictures for when he's away.

I don't know that to do because it makes sense on my he would have them. But if he wanted pictures he could just ask I have never told him no. I don't know if I need to let it go or what. Because he still doesn't get that it was wrong I'm afriad he'll still do it.
更新1:

Honestly no need to be so harsh with each other but thanks answering. I think taking everyone's answers into consideration would be just accepting that we were both wrong. We both need to learn to respect each other's privacy. Perhaps we will just discuss why taking pictures showing my face is not s good idea. I will apologise for looking through his phone and I hope he will apologise for making me uncomfortable. I think wearing more clothes to bed may be a good idea until we can build up trust.

更新2:

Ok guys I get it I was wrong and overreacted. I do trust him and it wasn't that he was taking pics of me that bothered me it was that my face was clear as day. His phone has no password or anything and if he loses it or if one of his brothers picks it up then someone might see it even f he meant for it to be private. I already apologised for snapping at hkm and we discussed everything. Thanks for the advice.

回答 (58)

2016-01-08 5:34 pm
It's illegal to do that, it doesn't matter whether someone is your fiancée or not, there are not different rules for fiancées. He didn't have your permission, he removed your clothing, he didn't tell you about it. Someone else could see his phone or hack it, there are lots of people who share nude/sexual photos of their partners to their friends, to other people or share them on the internet, whilst with the person or after a breakup so yes you have reason to feel violated.

He should ask you for permission, you should have agreed and then it would be okay.

It sounds like he thinks he owns you or has some weird fetish to wait until you are asleep.
👍 11 👎 2
2016-01-09 5:53 pm
It's secretive, creepy and totally disrespectful. No wonder you are upset about it! It's a major invasion of privacy, when you are at your most vulnerable..asleep. Total NO GO! Even if a partner does that thinking it's cute or sweet and they love you so much and love to watch you sleep, the normal thing would be to show you the picture when you wake up and respect your feelings about it afterwards. Like delete it if you really don't like it. It probably wouldn't have bothered you had he told you about it right away, which is what a normal, healthy person would have done. This is what makes it disturbing. He never told you and he had more than one picture. Not okay!
👍 6 👎 0
2016-01-06 8:57 pm
I don't really know why this is being argued? I think even a child can discuss privacy and have a basic understanding. That being said IF you do want to give him another chance have him delete the pictures that show your face. Maybe when you know he's going out of town send him a pic you approve of. Of course this leads to wonder why he wouldn't just ask you of your down to send them. Now I'm not saying he wants blackmail but on another opinion naybe he gets off on vulnerability. My ex used to fantasise about having sex with me when I was asleep. Perhaps this is some undiscussed sexual desire. If so perhaps you can work around it lay some ground rules like saying your face can't be shown if he takes the pictures or that he must delete them once he gets home etc etc
👍 5 👎 0
2016-01-09 3:43 pm
Th e very fact that you caved to the people that probably labelled you for having a go at this creepy and sick fiance of yours are being somewhat delusional. I really don't care whether you are stupid enough to send him photo's whereby you've exposed yourself or not, but how can you take his invasion of your privacy so lightly. You were sleeping and he exposed parts of your body and (without your consent) took pictures sneakily like a grave robber. Personally I couldn't trust or stay with a person like this, especially if they showed no regret/remorse or regard for my feelings. You on the other-hand appear to be a pushover and someone so gullible I'm not surprised he's gotten away with such s&*t and you've agreed to some of the stupid replies that you were given.
👍 4 👎 0
2016-01-09 9:24 am
You're basically marrying someone with a deviant mindset, cornerstone of any relationship is trust. Somewhere along the line, I can easily envisage this guy on the sex offenders register (for stealing kickers off someones washing line, or something darker ). The actual secretive act is the 'turn on', the images are just the trophy. What you should do is re-evaluate your relationship unless you're cool with all that. You know you shouldn't be going through his phone, should be no need to ...but this guys a 'creeper' with kinks...c'mon you know he is... it's near delusional that you're making excuses for his behaviour by the time you've typed those updates. Sorry, can only end in tears.
參考: opinion
👍 4 👎 0
2016-01-08 10:48 am
I think first off...I can see a bit of sweetness here. He was going away and wanted pics of you. So that's nice at least.
But..The way he's gone about it isn't cool. The fact itself that he did and kept it a secret shows he knows he was doing something he shouldn't have or he would of been more open about it and told you after he'd done it. Him getting angry at you Cox you were looking at his pictures seems like just a counter block to the argument.
If your engaged I'm sure the guy loves you more than anything and probably didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. But it kinda sounds like for him there was an addedsexyness to the fact you were asleep. Lots of guys like that! And he's maybe a bit embarrassed about that? I think you should take to him..see what his reason for the photos were. And if it was something sexual that's something you can both en corporate in a bit of role play or something? All consenting of course!
👍 4 👎 5
2016-01-08 8:19 am
Dios mio these other answers got my head spinning. Look I get what people are saying about you trusting him. But let's be f*cking real for a second. Assholes will go off defending him even when we have no clue how he treats you/how strong your relationship is. Nothing is 100% garuntee and its normal to get scared. Hell you two may not work out and then he'll have these pics. When a celebrity or even a random person gets a nude leaked there are a million and a half people saying "If you didn't want this to happen don't send them" in this situation that choice is gone. You didn't choose to have those pics taken yet you're the only one who will lose in the end. You let him have the pics and they get out then you're a "sl*t" don't send pics and you're a " frigid b*tch with trust issues" Damned if you do damned if you don't. So all you can do is go with your gut. It seems like you two made up already but even do use this as an opportunity to talk. Best of luck
👍 3 👎 2
2016-01-09 11:52 pm
I like you would be very irritated and want to know what he is doing with those pictures. I don't have a good feeling about his answer. It is not cute it is not adorable it is disturbing. Being on the road I would guess he has opportunity to share such things I put R E D F L A G all over this. You should be able to go through his phone He was hiding things from you. Not good. I don't trust this guy Hope you can take a step back and really look into the relationship before you are married. Anything else seems off I would get out .
👍 2 👎 0
2016-12-26 5:22 am
1
參考: Insomnia Remedies http://renditl.info/StopInsomniaForEver
👍 0 👎 0
2016-01-09 9:36 pm
If he was your bf I would be saying leave. But your guys are trying to get married. That's worth fighting for. But marriage means forever . People are saying your wrong for looking through his pictures.. umm excuse me? U are his wife to be! That's ur phone 2!! Now if you have to grab his phone every single day and search like a detective y'all clearly shouldn't be together bc there is no trust. Ik that's not what you we're saying. You are a woman u shouldn't have to apologize for doing what any normal person would do. Being married there aren't any secrets you should be Able to easily pick up his phone with no problems. U say u were looking at pictures whos not going to continue to scroll to see the rest of the pictures. Um hello their pictures. U have to be honest with him do you really want to marry someone you can't even pick up their phone. Like I said going through his phone everyday is a diff story. to say u found pictures of urself is a hell of a lot better then other girls
👍 0 👎 1

收錄日期: 2021-05-01 09:34:04
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