Would you allow your fiance to spend Christmas with his ex wife?

????

Your question is completely WRONG. First, ALLOW? He's not your 2 year old son, he's an adult.

Second, your real question seems to be, why are YOU being excluded. My GUESS is that it's because you're psychotically jealous.

IF you were to go, could you behave as though you're a civilized human being, or would you destroy the holiday by creating ugly scenes?

You can't say what he's doing? Do you think he's having sex in the living room in front of the whole family?

YOU have SERIOUS problems. It's a wonder that he is engaged to you, because you seem to be the worst possible news.

Keep it up, maybe he'll come to his senses and break off the engagement before you actually marry.

You are saying you want to deprive his children of being with their father on Christmas, which may be the only time they see their father.

You need mental health care.

"He SAYS it's for the kids" -- so you think he doesn't want to see his own kids on Christmas?

If you plan to have a kid with him, do you want him to neglect that child?

You're a psycho. That is why no one wants you around. YOur fiancé is a moron to be engaged to you.

So what. Its very likely he is sleeping with either the ex or this other woman he has kids with too. WHY would you even want to be with a guy who is paying child support to more then one ex? You need to re-evaluate your choices in men.

You are going to have to get used to the fact that he has kids with another woman, if you don't your marriage won't survive. He may love you, but will never come first, you must understand this? How would you feel if he asked you to send your kids to their father's while you stayed at home with him on special occasions?

His Children are obviously not old enough to spend extended amounts of time with him, so what's his alternative? Special occasions may come around every year, but you don't get any of them back.

If he's your Fiance, you must be pretty secure in your relationship otherwise you wouldn't have agreed to marry him, So why are you so worried about his ex? I have kids with my ex but that doesn't mean he's ever getting between my legs again. Are you planning to sleep with the father of your children? Not that many people do.
He's a grown man, responsible for himself, it's time you grew up too.

I've spent the last two Christmas' with my ex wife. The kids enjoy Christmas and having us both there to watch them open their gifts and for us to play with them. There usually isnt any drama. I don't think this is abnormal. This year, we also all went to Christmas Eve mass together to our church. No hanky panky ever occurred. We did it for the kids.

Where divorce is concerned, there are no 'rules' as to what you are supposed to do or not do. You need to figure out what behaviors are acceptable to you for somebody to have that is in a relationship with you and realize that you may lose that relationship when you try to set boundaries.

First things first, youre talking about a grown man, you cant allow or not allow him to do what he wants. Would I put up with it should be your question, if I trusted him, it wouldn't bother me because I could understand him wanting to be there for his children on the holidays. If I didn't trust him I would end it & be on my merry way. What I would have a problem with is him going for both holidays. We would have to compromise on him going for one holiday or taking me along the next time he goes or he wouldn't have a fiancée to come home to.

I think I'd MAKE him. MAKE him be with his kids. Buy the ticket and see him off on the plane. Keep whatever nightmare there is there away from our door and have a few real talks this year about how to make a functioning family with its own traditions.

Have you been to his hometown? Know his kids? Here's the thing... you'll never be able to say what he's doing without a private detective 24/7 on his case even in your hometown, so just decide to believe in and trust in the man you call your fiance or break up with him altogether. Now.

"Without me being there I can't say what he's doing."

So you are planning to marry a man you don't trust. You are a stupid woman, and your life - and sadly, the lives of your children - will never improve until you grow a brain. If you can't trust this guy out of your eyesight, you have literally no relationship with him. Stop dragging your kids through the mess you're making of your life with your bad choices.

Why shouldn't he be with his KIDS at Christmas but with yours? So what that his ex-wife is there, she is his EX and you are his fiancée. The reason he doesn't want you there is this, YOU flipping out about it. If you can't handle that then you need to really look at your relationship. If you trust him then you shouldn't be worrying about it.

you dont allow him to do anything. get your mind right or you will never be a good wife

Sounds to me like he prefers spending the holidays with his exes over you; and if they are both single he could be getting some presents wink wink from these ladies.

that is not normal Being divorced means it never happened He is way to close to the exes. Red flags for me. Kids should spend time but never the ex. Maybe a dinner out but never at their home the kids should be seen at a motel or grandparents or other relatives homes.