how do i die? i wish to die. its all or nothing and i am nothing?

i meant that i hate my life. i lose the game of life. i suck at school and im a failure at life. i live a life of despair and i am antisocial not that anyone cares. i distance myself to prevent myself from caring because i care too much about everything. i see nothing for me in the future. i am a male 18 and in the future about 3-4 years i will probably kill myself.