My bf works long hours. He work hard but every few days he withdraw. We spoke about this zillion of times and I told him I want him to tell me if he is busy or tired instead of withdrawing like that.
He apologised many times but go back to his unpredictable habit of becoming distance. When he is emotionally close he becomes the best I could ever want. When he is tired or busy he become the opposit.
About few days ago I got really pissed off (I do sometimes) and told him to find someone who can cope with this. I was angry!
He didn't take it serious but then I changed my phone number, this is another story. I keep getting random calls from a hidden number so I had to change my number to stop this but it happened to be during the time of the argument.
Now that I want to back off but at the same time I don't know if he is calling me or not and I don't want him to think that I changed my number because of him.
I want him to pay me more attention, I love him a lot but I am just upset of his behaviour sometimes. I want him to feel that I am upset.
What shall I do? And how to let him know that I have changed my number not because of him? At the same time I want to give him space?
Sorry if this sound complicated but I need some genuine help. I have no good friends to talk to :(
What to do with my bf after this argument?
2015-10-03 2:22 pm
回答 (3)
2015-10-03 4:48 pm
Why are you putting the change of the number and the issue with the guy on the same burner though.
Your having too many things going on here--seems as though you are stressed.
The fact that you say you do not have much friends to talk to--says a lot--since this guy is the person you need as a best friend to communicate with him--the very issue that is creating an issue for you--the random phone calls.
I would seriously communicate to him--the phone problem--and ask him what you should do.
Having said that--you need to realize that you do have a good relationship here--more than most people who are not married -- can boast of.
Marriage to this guy eventually, would make this issue bigger--since he would relax more and this problem of absenteeism mentally by him--will be more obvious.
You can do two things--accept the relationship for what it is--since there is no cheating going on here--just work related issues.
The time this guy is away emotionally -- you need to research how to deal with men on the whole--since they usually cannot multi-task.
Usually, women are born with multi-tasking skills.
It will not get better and you would seem "needy" to this guy.
Or just move on.
This guy is as good as it gets--and half the problem with be solved by accepting him for who he is.
Cheaters and liars are often given more lee way--why not a hard worker who is understandably burnt out and need some space and time--even if you marry this guy--if you lack understanding this situation--it will not disappear.
If it aint busted don't try to fix it.
Just saying.
Your having too many things going on here--seems as though you are stressed.
The fact that you say you do not have much friends to talk to--says a lot--since this guy is the person you need as a best friend to communicate with him--the very issue that is creating an issue for you--the random phone calls.
I would seriously communicate to him--the phone problem--and ask him what you should do.
Having said that--you need to realize that you do have a good relationship here--more than most people who are not married -- can boast of.
Marriage to this guy eventually, would make this issue bigger--since he would relax more and this problem of absenteeism mentally by him--will be more obvious.
You can do two things--accept the relationship for what it is--since there is no cheating going on here--just work related issues.
The time this guy is away emotionally -- you need to research how to deal with men on the whole--since they usually cannot multi-task.
Usually, women are born with multi-tasking skills.
It will not get better and you would seem "needy" to this guy.
Or just move on.
This guy is as good as it gets--and half the problem with be solved by accepting him for who he is.
Cheaters and liars are often given more lee way--why not a hard worker who is understandably burnt out and need some space and time--even if you marry this guy--if you lack understanding this situation--it will not disappear.
If it aint busted don't try to fix it.
Just saying.
2015-10-03 3:23 pm
But you did change your number because of him... why tell tall tales?
When men get stressed out or tired, most shut down and keep to themselves. It's their nature. You want him to behave the way you want him to behave. But he's not you, and he's not predisposed to behaving a different way.
His behavior isn't about you. IT's about him. It's the way he copes with being tired and/or stressed out from work. Either accept it or reject it.
And if you want to talk with him, call him.
When men get stressed out or tired, most shut down and keep to themselves. It's their nature. You want him to behave the way you want him to behave. But he's not you, and he's not predisposed to behaving a different way.
His behavior isn't about you. IT's about him. It's the way he copes with being tired and/or stressed out from work. Either accept it or reject it.
And if you want to talk with him, call him.
2015-10-03 2:33 pm
Cut the guy a break.
Why should he have to be up and at it all the time. He works hard, he should be allowed to rest.
You could learn to keep yourself busy for a few hours while he gets his sh!t together.
Good men and women deserve partners that realize partnerships mean sharing and selflessness.
So, unless you think you can live with a human man that responds to stress and weariness differently than you do, just leave him alone.
Most likely those calls are from people trying to contact the person that had your number last.
Why should he have to be up and at it all the time. He works hard, he should be allowed to rest.
You could learn to keep yourself busy for a few hours while he gets his sh!t together.
Good men and women deserve partners that realize partnerships mean sharing and selflessness.
So, unless you think you can live with a human man that responds to stress and weariness differently than you do, just leave him alone.
Most likely those calls are from people trying to contact the person that had your number last.
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