Why did reading Twilight give me Cancer?

Reading Twilight gives everyone a very high risk of developing cancer. The commonly used term is known as "Twilight Cancer," and puts millions of die-hard twilight fans at risk. Talk to your doctor if you think you have Twilight Cancer. So far, the only cure is to gain an interest in Sci-fi and fantasy rather than the Vampire/Where wolf genre.

It Didn't.

idiot...

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