Husband infidelity from the past back in his life, should I allow it?
2015-07-22 5:12 am
Lol yeah I know what you're thinking this is a no brainer right? But let me give the details. A few years ago my husband's cousin started to hang out with us & her older brother. Then they would hang out even if her brother wasn't there. It seemed sketchy but I shrugged it off thinking there's no way they would ever mess around that's sick plus she's underage (15 at that time, my husband was 20, I was 19). She looked up to me asking for advice about friends, crushes, clothing, ect.. the usual teen stuff so I thought of her like a lil sister. I brought up my concern to her one day on how i'd feel better if she not call my husband anymore bc it didn't look right for the two of them to hang out alone. She was kinda offended that it could be perceived as inappropriate but said ok. I asked the same of my husband but a few days later I read inappropriate texts found in the trash folder on his phone, he wrote "you're so sexy" & her replying "shutup just come pick me up im bored at the house". I confronted him about it asking what was going on in his mind & his intentions. He got defensive, called me crazy, & said he was only joking with her, being sarcastic, she was on the chubby side & he liked to tease her about it. We seperated for a few months, time went on, but when we reunited the trust was never the same. Recently his car broke down & he's been getting rides from her to & from work. He says noone else is available. What would you guys do?
回答 (4)
2015-07-22 5:21 am
✔ 最佳答案
When a guy calls you crazy for finding something that HE did wrong, that's your biggest clue that he definitely had bad intentions. Like, he was calling his own (underage) cousin sexy, and YOU are the one with the problem? He was just trying to get you so up set that YOU would end up apologizing to HIM, thereby taking all the attention off himself and giving him the upper hand. I'd have never gotten back together with him in the first place, honestly. I've learned the hard way that once something like that happens, it's only a matter of time before it happens again.
2015-07-22 3:25 pm
Unless I misread your post, I didn't see ANY infidelity in there. The worst thing you posted was that he referred to his cousin as "sexy", and claimed it was sarcastic due to her appearance actually being the opposite.
Unless you know your husband has been screwing someone else or having an emotional affair (telling another woman he loves/cares about her or desires her sexually) then simply referring to another chick, even if it's his cousin, as 'sexy' isn't infidelity.
You married too young, but that's irrelevant since it's done. Even though it may not be mature behavior, that doesn't make it cheating. He was good friends with his kid cousin. So what? His cousin has been giving him rides to work. So what? Unless you KNOW there's more to it, and it's inappropriate behavior, your post seems based on nothing. Seriously.
If you don't want him riding with his cousin, get his car repaired. Beyond that, I think you are letting your imagination run wild with you. Based SOLELY on what you posted here, I agree with your husband. Your actions/concern is "crazy".
Unless you know your husband has been screwing someone else or having an emotional affair (telling another woman he loves/cares about her or desires her sexually) then simply referring to another chick, even if it's his cousin, as 'sexy' isn't infidelity.
You married too young, but that's irrelevant since it's done. Even though it may not be mature behavior, that doesn't make it cheating. He was good friends with his kid cousin. So what? His cousin has been giving him rides to work. So what? Unless you KNOW there's more to it, and it's inappropriate behavior, your post seems based on nothing. Seriously.
If you don't want him riding with his cousin, get his car repaired. Beyond that, I think you are letting your imagination run wild with you. Based SOLELY on what you posted here, I agree with your husband. Your actions/concern is "crazy".
2015-07-22 6:32 am
don't run. RUN. HE IS A FREAK. AND SO IS HIS COUSIN
2015-07-22 5:30 am
If it quack like a duck...
Sounds like he's moved on with his cousin....ewww. So sorry this happened. As I get older I am less and less surprised and people's stupidity and selfishness. They just want each other for sex while it;s good and then they will both move on again.
If it were me, I would leave him, not because I wanted to or no longer loved him, but just because I had to.
Good luck.
Sounds like he's moved on with his cousin....ewww. So sorry this happened. As I get older I am less and less surprised and people's stupidity and selfishness. They just want each other for sex while it;s good and then they will both move on again.
If it were me, I would leave him, not because I wanted to or no longer loved him, but just because I had to.
Good luck.
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