Urgent, please help.

Dear Simon,

I'll comment your speech:

Basic grammar or wording errors:
to be anguish [anguish(n)不能verb to be，另這句的文法是teaching quality...to be anguish，不是你想連的our next generation to be anguish] - 你要想想teaching quality怎樣，或者使用上句格式Observing student "suffering"...Observing teaching quality "deteriorating"...]
..., we decided to apply ...[全本都用WE]
Thus,the success of the students means not only toobtain good results in examinations, ...
I hopeeveryone can support us.
This is ideal!
Butwe dare to do it, without fear!
Kennethwas also a volunteer to teach as an accountingteacher
Therefore,we will go all out to provide the best of education for each student and to establish a good reputation.
We hope e-star edu not only ...[同上]

[最尾一句Isincerely hope 用I尚可作為"講者"第一身的結語，而非代表E-STAR EDU

Phrasing/expression/sentence structure:
Observing studentssuffering from abnormal education system, and observing the teaching quality ofprimary and secondary school our next generation to be anguish, so,
[句子中文法上有不同的規格問題。上面已提出少少建議。]

willeventually achieve "willing to learn, good communication and innovation, andthe courage to take up responsibility" through our teaching
[這"口號"你有創作自由，但要留意當中各種不同的文法句子/用詞格式，最重要留意主動詞是achieve甚麼，第一格用achieve willing to (錯的文法)， 第二格的achieve good communication and achieve innovation(這兩noun東西都不會用achieve這動詞來表達)，第三格用了achieve the courage to...[未聽過]。假如全用noun又配合那些noun的動詞習性則可能是
will eventually have "willingness to learn, good communication skills, innovation thoughts, the courage to be a responsible person".
亦可以考慮
will eventually be able to "learn, communicate, innovate, take responsibility" 也不錯的。

therebyleading to famouspublic praise.
這Phrase是否你自創的呢？其實有一個英文字已可取代你這三隻字: FAME. 但"成名"是你們"真心話"？

thateveryone can walka big forward while you are youthful with us.
Walk a big foward肯定是你自創吧？
或者用些常見和聽慣的Phrase便不會太儿凸：
take a leap
make big steps
fly
excel
spring ahead/forward
...