統測英文作文 -寫給奶奶的一封信

2015-05-03 6:39 am

How is everything? I hope everything goes fantastic for you. The main reason why I write the letter is to thank you for your delightful gift. The electronic watch is not only practical but also stylish. All of my friends envy me for having such a cool grandmother. I want you to know that I understand the profound meaning consist in the gift. Since I was little, you have told me that “ Time is money” and we shouldn’t idle away. The abiding proverb I have always bear in mind. I appreciate your caring. It is your help makes me what I am today.
I couldn’t imagine going to university without your blessing.
In the end, I would like to invite you to my school for my ceremony. It will be held on June first. I can’t wait to share with you how glee I am to set out for a journey.
Looking forward to seeing you!
請幫我評一個分數(1~24分)

謝謝

回答 (4)

2015-05-03 8:42 am
✔ 最佳答案
評分:19

有少許文法錯誤和冗贅的詞句,有些字詞像是中翻英,在英文中沒有的用法,以下訂正。
I hope everything goes fantastic with you.
All of my friends envy me because I have such a cool grandmother.
I understand the gift you gave me has a deeper meaning.
Ever since I was little, you told me time is money. And now I always keep in my mind that I shouldn't idle my precious time away.
I appreciate your love and concern.
You shaped my life, and made me what I am today.
建議刪去“I couldn’t imagine going to university without your blessing.”
I'd like to invite you to attend my commencement ceremony.
I'm full of glee to set out on a journey. (glee是名詞。)
And I am Iooking forward to seeing you.
參考: 自己
2015-05-06 4:15 am
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2015-05-04 10:34 am
對我來說, 作文的評分包含內容, 文筆, 以及文法.
以這篇來說, from 1 to 10,
內容我給9分
文筆 8分
文法7.5分
不過每個人的評分標準不同, 不知道問分數有什麼用意...

關係字句的文法你出現了好幾次錯誤, 建議你可以先針對這部分去加強, 以下的句子都是關係字句的文法錯誤.
I want you to know that I understand the profound meaning (which is) consisted in the gift.
The abiding proverb I have always bear in mind. (這句沒動詞)
It is your help that makes me what I am today.

2015-05-04 02:37:45 補充:
所以如果滿分 24分我會給 19.6分
2015-05-03 8:45 am

Grandma or the granny-in-law in Chinese holy matrimony ?
Errors and Corrections in brackets(------):-
How is everything ? I hope everything goes(fantastic) for you. The main reason why I write the letter is to thank you for your (charming) gift. The electronic watch is not only practical but also (fashionable).
All of my friends envy me for having such (an admirable) grandmother. I want you to know that I understand the profound meaning consist(ed) in the gift. Since I wqs little, you have told me that "Time is money" and we shouldn't idle away . The abiding proverb I have always bear in mind. I appreciate your caring. It is your help (that) makes me what I am today. I couldn't imagine going to university without your blessing.

------In the end, I would like to invite you to my school for my ceremony. It will be held on June first. I can't wait to share with you how glee I am to set out for a journey ( on something good that will happen.)

------Looking forward to seeing you !
------You got good grades on your exam.
------You make the grade to reach the necessary standard to succeed.


收錄日期: 2021-05-04 02:08:53
原文連結 [永久失效]:
https://hk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20150502000016KK06542

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