<英文> 英文翻譯 問題 (20點!!!)

Just a suggestion:

I have worked as a sales representative (sales agent, salesclerk,,, ) and a cashier for several months. That hands-on experience has made me good at numerical calculations, It has also enhanced my management skills in the event of unforeseen emergency. I believe that my skills and experience would be of great benefit to your company in this position.

2. believe (present simple) 現在相信, 經常相信, 不用 believed, 因是 past tense 以前相信


Comment:
1. few = 不多, 少數, 改用 several = 幾個, 數個, more positive

2. 如果一段時期無做工作, 改為用 simple past tense, “I worked as a …..”

3. sales experience太普遍的字, 用開 cashier, 倒不如言及你以前的職業名稱 “sales representative, salesclerk or ….” 比較貼切
I have worked as a cashier 要有 indefinite article, "a".

4. 用 sensitive to numbers, sensitive to figure 是錯, ~ Chinese English
“sensitive to” 多數用在不良事物或行為,
sensitive to criticism, sensitive to cold, sensitive to one’s mood (心情)
可以用 good at numerical calculations, 雖然改了原意 , 但是比較明確

5. enhance = 提高, 加強, 提升, improve = 改良, 改善

6. 不能用這個 term “emergency management” ~ mainly refers to 災難, economic/health impacts.

7. Sorry, 最後那句子完全地改了結尾








2015-03-26 05:27:10 補充：
如果不改, 跟隨你的原意

I believe I could perform this job competently
= 我相信我能勝任這份工作

2015-03-26 06:29:57 補充：
i believed that i am qualified with the job. ~ 錯
believed ~ 錯, 用錯 preposition, 不是 with

應該是
I believe (that) I am qualified for the job.
that 可以刪除

qualified = 有資格, 不是解"勝任的"
a qualified teacher 不是相等 a competent teacher

自己有曾數月銷售及收銀經驗, 而呢份工作令面對數字更加敏感,亦提升了我面對突發事件的處理能力, 我認為我有能力 勝任這份工作.

I have been working on sales and cashier jobs for several months that let me more keen on figures, improved my ability to deal with incidents and being able to work independently. I do believe that I will be qualified for that job.

1. 上面英文有咩地方要改?
Please see my corrections above.
2. "i believe" 同"i believed that" 分別幾時可以用??
That is a pronoun which represents the preceding word or phrase or paragraph.

I have worked as sales personnel and cashier for several months, which has enhanced my responsiveness to numbers, as well as my ability in handling emergencies. I am confident about my competence in taking up the vacancy.

believe (that) v.t.---Error and corrections:-
----I have had several months in sales and cashier experience.
----In the job,figures make more sensitive to me; also upgrading my emergency handling capability
----which enables me to work independently in difficult situation.
----I believe (that) I am qualified well for the job.