求全改或修改,請英文高手幫幫忙

大概意思, 隨意加了少少

Just a suggestion:

5th November, 2014
Dear Miss xxx,

I am glad that my son XXX will be able to return to school tomorrow after his successful operation. The doctor has suggested that he is excused from doing exercise for one week and swimming for four weeks. I should be most grateful if you could arrange for his exemption from these classes.

I trust that he will settle down to his work once again and recover the ground that he has lost through his absence. Attached is the doctor’s note. Thank you for your concern about my son.

Yours truly

YYY

(Father/Mother of XXX)


Note:
我想由 Miss xxx 直接通知P.E teacher 好些, 不用等她回郵, 你再 Email 給P.E teacher

exemption = 免除

2014-11-05 11:50:36 補充：
To yip****** :

"sick leave = permission to be away from work because of illness" ~ from Oxford A. L. Dictionary
病假 ~ 通常是有薪水, 公司給員工的 benefit, 學生是無的

"Though .... but... " 是兩個 conjunctions, 不能使用在兩個 clauses 上

"... had been ..." past perfect 用錯

Dear Miss xxx,

Thank you for your kindness as concern XXX's surgery which had been very successful. Though he will return to school tomorrow, but was advised not to do exercise and to swim for one and four weeks respectively. Also the sick leave certificate is attached as below. Besides, do I need to send an e-mail to inform the P.E teacher in that matter. Please advise me if you agree to do so. Thank you.
With kind regards,
so and so
Date: Nov. 4th 2014

雖然有些錯用詞，但基本意思已很清楚，看來你的英文程度也不太差，努力多看英文文章/報紙留意一些寫法便自己吸收...

Thank you for your concern about my son’s health. XXX's operation is successful. He will return to school tomorrow, but he is being advised by the doctor not to [] exercise for 1 week and avoid swimming for 4 weeks. Here is the medical note (please see the attachment). Besides, please let me know if I need to send an e-mail to the P.E. teacher to tell him the condition of my son? Thank you Regards,
Your nameParent of XXX Note:“Exercise” 本身是名詞，但意思作「做運動」是可直接寫成”動詞”，所以不是do exercise而是exercise本身便是那行動(動詞/infinitive)。“Medical Note”是我會寫的用詞…sick leave form/advice是公司或商業通知的用詞，你附上的是醫生信(不是請假信)，你可請教醫生他們叫那張給學校的”告示”英文叫甚麼。我聽過英語人類似叫Doctor’s Note。