請幫忙修改作文(3)

Recently, a lot of mobile applications have been developed for smartphone games. The famous "Puzzle & Dragon" has already made a vast number of teenagers become addicted to online games. This has caused a devastating effect to the health of the addicts, both mentally and phsyically.

Even worse, those AppStores have been promoting a great number of fascinating characters of the games, which tempt youngsters into buying those "virtual" goods. As a result, this (= the addiction to smartphone games) has created economy and health issues in our society.

2014-09-26 04:03:17 補充：
補充： economy issue = problem in economy (not economic problem)
health issue = problem in health (not physical problem)

2014-09-26 04:19:02 補充：
typo: mentally and physically

2014-09-26 12:29:08 補充：
correction: ... a devastating effect "on" the health ... (effect on somebody/something)

Thesis statement:

Recently, a lot of mobile applications have developed in the smartphone market. Creating, and heavily promoting fascinating characters for new games is the current popular way for AppStores attracting more people to download, or buy those games. Namely, the famous "Puzzle & Dragon" game has gotten a vast number of teenagers into gaming addiction. Mobile application evolution is definitely causing a devastating threat on both mental, and physical health problems to the general public. It is also creating economical burden.

1st body paragraph:
explain how it is causing mental and physical health problems. Example(s)

2nd body paragraph:
explain how it is creating economical burden. Example(s)

Conclusion:
Keep it short.