How can I fix my life, help myself and get my life back on track? How to make things right again?

my mental condition is getting worse lately, and I don't know what to do.
In the past I am always happy, but now I live in fear and frustration, not getting what I want most of the time.
I am not in alignment of what I want most of the time, which was not the case in the past. Right now I want to fix it. There are several problems that need to be fixed: I am eating almost the same kind of lunch everyday which is a problem; the entertainment I am playing brings little comfort to me, but without it there's only TV, and I don't like TV; the bad things happening in the past are shadows of fear and frustration and I want to get rid of it. I want to get rid of memories that caused pain, including facing the police and being forced into mental ward. I felt threatened, I wanted to fight back, but I knew I cannot, because the law strictly prohibited anyone to start any violence. I wanted to get out, but I knew I cannot, because the law does not allow. Thus I live in fear, I hide my emotions from the past, but I don't want to live like this anymore. How can I get rid of all these bad memories and start all over again? The problem is getting bigger and I cannot neglect its negativity that will bring from the past into the now. I lose my confidence to do things now...I had a difficult past and I was being denied...