幫我修改呢封英文letter

re. Jenkin's answer:
1.try hard to avoid this matter happening again.
是寫錯的
try hard to avoid this matter "from" happening again.
也是錯的

改正:
1. try hard to avoid "further happening/occurrence" (of this matter)
2. try hard to "prevent" this matter from happening again

2014-08-29 17:11:00 補充：
Subject: Delivery of order No.T8689

Thank you for your letter of August 25, 2014. We are sorry to learn that the order No.T8689 has not been delivered to your company. We admit it is our fault of our delivery services.

We are now arranging to deliver your order within two days by courier services. Once again, please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience caused.

Please feel free to contact us again should you have any problems.

Your faithfully

2014-08-29 17:15:27 補充：
it is "the" fault of our delivery services.

2014-08-30 03:52:47 補充：
If you really want to express your wish to improve, add a sentence like:

Once again, please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience caused. We would make every effort to improve our delivery services in the future.

你寫的原意似是表示要送的東西"根本"沒有送過去(那就不是overdue或者late)...而現在你會重新補送一份。希望首先沒有理解錯你客戶的情況和你將要做的方法...否則寫了表達的並不是你公司的將要做的話便幫倒忙了。

另外先講delivery by messanger (courier)必然是用人送，所以不會加上personally(personally意思是你"這個人")，所以意思暗示你到時自己也跟埋送貨去...(我估不是吧)

回答上解
1.try hard to avoid this matter happening again.
是寫錯的
try hard to avoid this matter "from" happening again.
盡力避免這情況再次發生
2. We will bear the responsibility and assure better delivery services in the future
我們會承擔責任並保證從今以後會改善送貨服務

這兩種寫法都是很認真的意思...除非你公司真的牙齒當金使(寫得出做得到)，否則這類寫法很少會用於商業回應投訴或代表公司的道歉信上。

其實你原稿除了有幾個串字錯漏外(bringing, two days)和一些文法動詞錯誤觸we are apologize, we promised 不是過去了的承諾...及上面講到的personally有點怪外，其實表達到前因後果。不過可以試簡單直接一點:

We received your letter regrading you never received the order no. T8689. Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention. We are now arranging to make the delivery to your company within two days. I hope you will accept our apologies and we promise to improve our delivery services.

Gary,
I fail to understand how someone can learn from what you've suggested. I 'll give a score 6 out of 10 for your two sentences.

1. Your teacher will know that this is not from you;
2. You lost the chance to learn.

2014-08-30 16:36:24 補充：
Dear Dr. Gary,

Why explained? You've already made your points clear in your two statements.
I know you're very good at English, maybe 100 times better than me. Can't you see it was your attitude that I commented on?

2014-08-30 16:44:10 補充：
Look at Jenkin and Dustin ... (you may say your English is better than them for sure, as well)... but at least they were trying to help in a positive way.

I know I am being blunt. What you want to do is none of business!

2014-08-30 17:09:20 補充：
What you want to do or say is none of my business! However, be merciful to the students and don't tell them the incorrect answers, thinking that it could boost their learning.

I dont know the meaning of those 2 sentences,


1.try hard to avoid this matter happening again.

2. We will bear the responsibility and assure better delivery services in the future


Gary, Thank you for your comments,

I can't fix it for you, as:

1. Your teacher will know that this is not from you;

2. You lost the chance to learn.

Nevertheless, here is some suggestions:

2014-08-27 17:11:23 補充：
a. Wording - Your letter sounds too amateur. It is definitely not something that you can read from a business letter.

b. Grammar - serious grammatical issue.

You should try to rewrite.

By the way, this comment applies to both letters.

2014-08-30 15:42:01 補充：
石破天驚:

My English is never perfect. But I can assure you that my English is better than you for sure. I don't need you to grade me at all.

The reason I said rewriting is better because, as others point out, this letter has major structural problems.

2014-08-30 15:43:15 補充：
The background of "how to say" is unknown. However, if a professional drafted letter is provided to the teacher, the teacher will definitely know that is not from him/her.

Also telling the correct answer is not the best learning method. Somehow he/she has to search for the answer.

2014-08-30 15:43:44 補充：
Since this letter has too many problem beyond fixing, that's why I said rewriting is easier.

2014-08-31 04:13:20 補充：
Then why do you even bother to comment my action anyway?

August 27, 2014

Dear Mr Lee


Subject: Overdue delivery services order No.T8689

We have received your letter yesterday about the order No.T8689. I'm sorry that we have exceeded the time limit for delivering it to your company. On the other hand, we need to thank you for giving us a great chance, to serve your company. Regarding to our overdue, we promised to improve our delivery services and try hard to avoid this matter happening again.

We will bear the responsibility and assure better delivery services in the future. I can arrange clearly for the overdue order and deliver personally by messenger within two days. I'm looking forward to recieving your reply and really hope you can accept our offer again. Thank you!

Yours faithfully

Fanny
Sales excultive