My girlfriend is not happy with me because once when I was online in my dwarf clan, I met a level 41 dwarf named Cindy and we fell in love despite her being below my status. I would send her poetry about warcraft and she would edit it for me. As my wife works a hundred and eighty hour week, this gave me plenty of opportunity to organise a liaison with Cindy in real life. After arranging to meet, I packed my dwarf costume and battle axe and used my wife's credit card to buy a bus ticket to the town Cindy lived in. As it turned out, Cindy was actually a real dwarf. And a man. We still made love so as not to waste the money I had spent but I left feeling deceived and only partly satisfied. Why can't people just be honest?
However as a bit of a punishment she has told me that I am not allowed to watch porn again. This was surprising to me as I have over 16 computers dedicated to porn (I know that is a lot but there is absolutely no way a man can keep up with the amount of porn that the industry now produces). Any way, yesterday my testicles grew to the size of small watermelons before rupturing and I was rushed to hospital. While I was recovering in ward 7G, I made friends with a small boy named Ross in the bed next to me. He died from cancer the next day so I took his Sony PSP.
How can I avoid this happening again? Do you have any tips for coping with this?