recovery from my ORTHOREXIA? help...?

i'm currently recovering from ana and ive gained quite a few pounds which is good and i didnt really feel bad about these new numbers, but now this drives me into another disorder, that is, orthorexia...
i realized that i am so obsessed with "eating-healthy-to-recover-so-you-dont-gain-only-fat-but-muscle" thing. you know what i mean...
i am not an extreme case, because i eat red meat and dairy. however im really really scared of processed meats like sausages, ham, luncheon meat, spams...
everytime i eat them i feel so unhealthy, and bad, and judge myself : "if i didnt choose to have this sausage, i would have had a perfect day because i wouldnt have eaten any UNATURAL FOODS! damn.." i will be hating myself so much and turns into a very bad mood...
this is driving me crazy when i have to choose on a menu... i think about the ''healthy thing''about it and whether the sodium harms my body etc...im really, really sick of it.
yesterday i tried to challenge myself, by ordering a hotdog with custard sauce on it. i finished half of it and by the end of the day i started feeling guilty. my thoughts were like:
- gosh. my day would have been perfect of eating only natural foods which are good to your body. but not for now because youve eaten some sausages! that is, processed foods!
- i actually didnt really want to have a hotdog...why did i order it? ive wasted my calories on something i dont enjoy...@#$%(if you know what i mean...)

can anyone help me through this..?