求幫忙校正一篇英文短文的文法和時態

I'll never forget the day my grandfather died.
[x At] That day, after breakfast,
I went to elementary school [as usual].
But when I [stepped into the classroom],
my father [came in and took] me home.
I felt [confused],
because my father had to go to work [that day].
So, I [asked] my father that what [had] happened[.]
He said that [my] grandfather [had] died.
When I heard this [piece of heartbreaking news],
I didn't [have any intense emotions].
Maybe I was too young at that time.
I [had] experienced [so little in my life].
[x But] This is my first experience [about death].
And [it lets] me start to treasure everybody [around me].
I'm very grateful to my grandfather.
His death [lets] me grow and mature.

2014-03-15 21:33:44 補充：
也替你改了一點，讀起來會順暢一點。

不過上面的大大好像有點誤解呢，
1. 兩者之間不需要有任何東西，加了反而不自然
2. 用 on 沒錯，但其實可以省略 preposition
3. familiarly 是用得有點怪，但甚麼都不寫就少了「往常」的意思

2014-03-15 21:40:12 補充：
4. attend class 也是指上課的意思，這是很常用的配搭
5. 同意用 into，但用 to 不代表錯，只是沒 into 那麼好罷了
6. 用 of 就錯了，這句後面是 complete sentence，所以不是用 because of，而是 because
7. that 是必須的，以表達「那個時候」之意
8. experience to family die 文法錯誤，我會改成 experience of my loved one's death

2014-03-15 21:40:57 補充：
我覺得寫得不錯呢，加油啊。

I'll never forget the day my grandfather died.
(這句 I'll never forget the day 和 my grandfather died 之間要有 , 不然就是以連接詞that連接不然唸起來感覺怪怪的)

At that day, after breakfast,
(開頭可以改成 On that day :: 就在那一天，吃完早餐後 )


I went to elementary school familiarly.
(這句為什麼會有 familiarly ? 不是去上小學嗎 ，familiarly 可以刪掉 )

But when I attended class
(這句也挺怪的 attended 不是參加嗎 參加班級是什麼意思 ? 你如果要表達的是進去教室內，應該是 into the classroon )

my father went to my classroom to take me home.
( 這句的 went 應該改成 into，到教室內把我帶回家 )

because my father had to go to work today.
(這句的 Because 應該要+ of )

Maybe I was too young at that time.
(that應該可省)

But this is my first experience to family die.
(family可以改用 Relative 然後不用 + s 因為只有爺爺死掉)

大致上是這樣，希望我的回答有幫助到你

2014-03-16 09:26:09 補充：
樓下的大大謝謝指教 XP
會在加強磨練自己的(點頭)