有關英文文法問題問問大家

有一點不妥
When my sister cried, I was watching it.
這句意思的when字由你妹妹哭這動作主導了你正在看電影這行動。
應該是
When I was watching it (the movie), my sister cried.

While 和 When連接都有次序的，while發生中或when發生時跟的事都要是先出現或已出現，另一事才出現。

文法有無錯取決於你既意思, 你要用中文寫返個意思出黎, 先幫到你,
而且句子過於重覆。

首先係, 時間仔細到 8:00am 至 10:00 am 對於全段文字, 沒有什麼大作用, 基本上可以改成 早上, 或者刪去
第二, 點解唔比埋個電影名呢?

I was watching a movie last Tuesday morning while my sister was sleeping.
While I was watching it again last Thursday night, my sister was crying.

或者簡單D
I was watching a movie while my sister was sleeping.
While I was watching it again, my sister was crying.

I was watching a movie from 8:00am to 10:00am last Tuesday. While I was watching the movie, my sister was sleeping. When I was watching the same movie from 7:00pm to 9:00pm last Thursday, I heard my sister was crying.

大致上ok, 不過有d地方可以修改吓.

"I watched the same movie from 7:00pm to 9:00pm last Thursday."
如果我寫我會加again
I watched the same movie again from...
I watched the movie again from...

"When my sister cried, I was watching it."
Cry呢個動作通常唔會係靜係cry 1 吓就停, 係會維持1段時間, 好似watch moives咁
要一個短暫既動作, 可以寫:
"When the doorbell rang, I was watching the moive." (後面寫番the moive好d)
or
"When my friend called me, I was watching the moive."

如果一定要用sister喊, 你要加begin將佢變成短暫既動作
"When my sister began to cry, I was watching the movie."