I'm worried about my fiance's bachelor party. I don't trust his brother?

If he ends up at a strip club, does not mean he will have a lap dance.
You need to trust him. He will not only going to his, but others after you are married. You need to trust that he would not do anything that you would not like.

If you can not, should you marry him?

The only person who needs to worry about this is your fiance.
You cannot constantly insert your self between him and his brother, nor make your fiance's decisions for him.

You either trust this man or you don't. If you don't, don't marry him.
He won't be damaged if he goes to a strip club, even if someone pays for a lap dance. Better it should be for his bachelor party than just another Friday night.

It's not necessary for you to be able to trust your fiance's brother. The question is, can you trust your fiance. At the end of the day, HE decides what he will or will not do. If you can trust him, he won't do anything that would hurt your relationship. If you can't trust him, you shouldn't be marrying him.

Okay, so you don't trust his brother...but do you trust him?

Wait: you have both a fiance and a husband? The one to trust or not is your...fiance, or is it your...husband?

Where and what happens at the bachelor party really is none I repeat, none of your business. You need to stop this possessive controlling attitude if you even hope to have a happy marriage. This really has very little to do with him going to a strip club and everything to do with your own insecurities and trust issues. If he is going to cheat there is nothing you can do to prevent it because that is up to the character of the man. There are women everywhere, no need to fear the strip club. In nearly every club the men are not even allowed to touch those women. If he is not going to cheat on you he could sit in a room full of naked women and would not touch them. If you trust him you have no reason to have a problem with this. If you do not trust him, you should not be getting married to him. His brother, the bachelor party, even the strip club have nothing to do with what is motivating your fears

If you're worried about what your fiance does at his bachelor party, don't blame his brother. His bro could be a complete immoral loon, but that wouldn't matter if you trusted your fiance. You say you do, but that's a pretty loose interpretation of trust.

Also, why would you say you'll never know what happened that night? This implies you think your fiance wouldn't be honest about it. This is also a pretty weird interpretation of trust.

If you're truly concerned, of course you can talk to him. A groom can make a general type request for his party, like no strip clubs. Heck, a groom can say he doesn't even want a bachelor party. But if you don't trust how he'd behave at a party, and then think he might lie about that behavior, make sure you don't have a bigger problem.

If you don't trust your fiance's Brother...then Trust your FIANCE. Let his brother be loose, let your fiance use his own BRAIN. If he ends up in a strip club I am sure he will be too uncomfortable to enjoy it. Stop worrying and enjoy your own bachelorette party...if you can't trust your fiance now, then when will you be able to?
If he is an adult, he will not feel "pressured" NO means NO, and that goes for anyone, at any age.

Fiance Bachelor Party

If you're concerned about your fiance doing something questionable, then you do NOT trust him. Period, end of story.

You are not marrying his brother, therefore his behavior is of no concern to you. You are free to talk to your fiance about anything that makes you uncomfortable, and if he makes you any promises then you need to trust him to keep those promises. If you don't trust him to keep his promises or tell you the truth, then cancel the wedding.

Unless his brother or his friends literally have a loaded gun to his head, then cannot force him to do one damn thing. They cannot make him go out, they cannot make him get blackout drunk, they cannot make him get a lap dance. Every single one of those things are your fiance's choice. If he allows other people to talk him into questionable actions, then that's completely on him. Not the other guys. It's 100% your fiance's fault. Your fiance has the right, from the very beginning, to turn down a bachelor party activity, or turn down the party all together. Your fiance is absolutely free to walk away from a questionable situation at any point.

Furthermore, you can judge a man by the company he keeps. So if your fiance chooses to hang out with people with questionable morals, then that's a big reflection on his character. You can love a seedy brother and be friends with a seedy brother, but that doesn't mean that you need to hang out with a seedy brother or do what he tells you to do.

If you TRULY trust your fiance to be loyal to you and respectful toward other women, then none of this should be a concern. You should trust him to know when to say NO to his brother or friends, or to tell them from the beginning that a seedy bachelor party isn't going to fly and they need to plan something else or forget about the whole night.

If even for a second you feel like your fiance could "get talked into" something by his brother ... then, news flash, princess, you do not really trust your fiance and you're just looking to transfer the blame to his brother. You're either really mistrusting of a good guy and you need to get your jealousy in check, or you need to dump this guy if he's said or done anything that makes you not trust him.

That's the bottom line. You either trust him or you don't. If you trust him, then forget about all this nonsense and tell him to have a fun day. If you do not trust him, then cancel the wedding and do not marry him. Period. There's no in-between here.

Have a nice meal and a heart to heart talk with your fiancé and his brother. Tell them this: The tradition of taking the groom out and getting him into all kinds of trouble and damaging his relationship with his bride is not truly done for the groom's enjoyment. It is done to embarrass the groom and his fiancé. It is done for the fun of others who want an excuse to go to a strip club and get very drunk and obnoxious. You are very glad that they are not those kinds of people and that they would never think of doing that to you right before the wedding. Ask your fiancé in the presence of his brother what kinds of things he would enjoy for his bachelor party such as a day of golfing and a steak dinner followed by a comedy club. Some men go drive race cars, or they jump out of a plane, or they go out on a chartered boat and have a day of ocean fishing. Suggest a long list of ideas and when his face lights up move in on that idea. Follow up with your man in private about expectations.

I would ask him to have a wedding shower together with you instead of that. It's not that you don't trust him but if nothing is going to happen he can invite his friends to party with yours in a better setting.