plz.英文高手改grammar!!

Most of [the] time, my parents are busy [in] working, so we have [little] chance to enjoy our family day. But when they are [free], they will take me to the Chinese restaurant for breakfast. This photo shows that we were enjoying dim sum and [other Chinese] cuisines together on our first family day. In [x the] fact, the photo only [shows] [some] of [the food] we ordered [x that day]. There should be more on the table[,] like steamed chicken [feet], steamed rice rolls [and wantons] [x and so on]. I [x was very] enjoyed chatting with my parents while eating dim [sum] [very much]. We [x always] felt free to [laugh] at some funny jokes [and] [not] [one of us] would mind [it,] as [this] is a normal thing in [such a bustling] place.
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Last year, I traveled [to] England with my family. The trip gave me a special experience[, especially on] the first day[, when] I [stepped] on the [land] [x which was] covered in snow [for the first time.] [The scenery that day] was [x a] beautiful and [it] made me feel excited. [And] I [started] [x playing] snow fighting and making [snowmen] with my sister [in no time]. [While making our snowmen,] we saw [the] many [spectacular results of the others]. They were [so] amazing [that they] made me start [x to] imagine myself entering [x to] [a] science fiction world. Travelling should [not] only [be about] [sightseeing.] [It should] also [be about] [paying] attention on [everything you encountered in the trip, which makes the travel unique]. For example, [I remember that] during the [trip], many local people were friendly [enough] to [take] photos for us. I also remember that when we asked them for direction, they told us the way [by] drawing a simple map. [A little thing it may seem], we still felt touched because of their [hospitality]. [I must say,] [the England trip] truly [is] [one of my] best [trips in life]!

Most of time, my parents are busy on working, so we have little chances to enjoy our family day. But when they are free, they will take me to the Chinese restaurant for breakfast. This photo shows that we were enjoying dim sum and cuisines together on our first family day. In fact, the photo only showed part of the food we ordered that day, there should be more on the table like steamed chicken feets, steamed rice rolls, watons and so on. I enjoyed chatting with my parents while eating dim sums very much. We always felt free to laugh at some funny jokes, but no one would mind as it is a normal thing in this hilarious place.
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Last year, I traveled England with my family. The trip gave me a special experience. Especially on the first day, I had the first time to step on the stress which was covered in snow, it was a beautiful sight and made me so excited. I subsequently began playing snow fighting and making snow men with my sister. Then, we saw many magnificent constructions. They were amazing and made me start to imagine myself entering a science fiction world. Travelling shouldn’t only focus on the sights and views, it was also valued you to pay attention on affair happened to you. For example, during the travelling many local people were friendly to took photos for us.I also remember that when we asked them for direction, they told us the way by drawing a simple map. Even if it seems like a little thing, we still felt touched because of their enthusiasm. Whatever, it truly was the best day!