How am I supposed to live through life?
2013-12-15 7:39 am
My whole life I've wanted to die or I've wanted to escape. I used to always feel sad but now I don't feel sad but I don't feel anywhere near happy. I feel terrible all the time and feel tired and my eating has been dropping suddenly and then increasing suddenly, not like normal growth spurts but overeating. I'm sick of my life and have always planned that I would finish school then die. I have been abused before in life and gone into therapy for it, I was sent to the hospital once for suicidal thoughts and stayed there for three hours until they came to the conclusion of a medication. Every night I take seroquel although I was diagnosed with anxiety more than anything else. I don't want to take medication anymore it has changed my sleeping completely. I feel even more terrible because at the beginning of this year I was upset and things were building on me and I made a friend. This friend had been hospitalized for weeks for mental illness but they are an amazing person, people thought I was copying this person after my behaviour was noticeable. This person has now left but my behaviour has not changed. I get triggered by songs and have anxiety attacks, I have social anxiety and PTSD. I find living hard and never feel happy anymore. I write above year 9 level (I am in year 9) and it makes me feel better I would pursue a career in writing or acting but I just know it wouldn't work out. I want things to go my way. I see my school counsellor and now it is time for school holidays. I haven't seen my psychologist in a while though. I feel trapped and every student at school calls me insane. I'm scared they are right because I have an overactive imagination which creates scary thoughts or hallucinations. I get told I don't have depression which I am sure isn't true. But then there are many weeks where I am happy and I know I can get things done and I'm "happy" but then it goes away and I come crashing down and it goes on for weeks before kicking into that euphoric mode. Right now I am in my crashing down stage. I'm fourteen but I just need advice and help, I'm scared and lonely and worried all the time. Sorry for the length I tried to be specific.
回答 (2)
2013-12-15 8:22 am
✔ 最佳答案
Heyy Bree dude....I really feel sad and even bad after reading your letter.Thats very sad you have suufeered a lot in your playing age.You are very innocent and a person who realise the price of life.One of yours and others also.(Which can get by your last line especially)
You said you have gone through therapy and you have SA and PTSD.
Well I have seen guys in my life time with these two things.They have recurred their normal life with specific medication,habits and moreover important a positiveattitude towards whole these unwanted things.
Your life is just as much little have gone and you still are a kid.Just forteen and you talking about the thoughts of ending your valuable life.I know that this life is not simple.Simple to live simple to survive and simple to linger.Everyone in the world has problems.But real thing is that how one try to see at problems.Many times it is very easy to handle the things and those are not too much complecated as they appear to see or thay can be seen externally.Bro,this is very tactical and practical thing.
You know many time people enjoy to call other insane,freak and dumb and #$@!$*** many ways out.They enjoy in that.Remeber when you will concentrate on what other is saying bad to you you will probably get things chopped.Scattered.Yes,one has no right to say about anyone like this but may be you are not like them for them.Or may be they are unaware about what you are going through.
Remember bro in this world no one has business if one dies or get mad or handicapped.People see of their benefits.So this is very common and is the human nature.(Its good or bad is another part)So just try ignoring.Just try not to react or respond them.If you showing you feeling bad they can only laugh or enjoy.They may get energy to feel you low more and more.So just try to engage you in your studies.
Second you said you have stopped your mediacation and therapy.just start it.Don't interrupt.Try cool counselling.You will definitely get what you want.
For more relief try to talk with your trustworthy person.Or if not getting anyone you can probably try me on my email.You can share thoughts to me.I wll be really happy to help and cure you.
Hope you can understand because you have realization power of things.Read good books.Biographies.Science literature.Do some treks,picnics with homelies.What else...by practice you can achieve this...
Hope my answer will find you worth of your valuable life.Take Care dude!
參考: ATB
2013-12-15 5:51 pm
continue your medication. this will do you good.
don't care what other people said about you.
you are strong enough to overcome negative thoughts...you can.
do not be afraid - you just have to focus on doing one thing and you'll be fine.
no need to feel worried - those are just illusions produced by the mind itself.
it cannot harm you.
In the meantime try doing something that you'd like - play a game, watch a movie.
you can live through this life. have confidence in yourself. The source of strength is within you.
Try to reach a psychologist if you can. have faith in yourself.
Hope this helps.
don't care what other people said about you.
you are strong enough to overcome negative thoughts...you can.
do not be afraid - you just have to focus on doing one thing and you'll be fine.
no need to feel worried - those are just illusions produced by the mind itself.
it cannot harm you.
In the meantime try doing something that you'd like - play a game, watch a movie.
you can live through this life. have confidence in yourself. The source of strength is within you.
Try to reach a psychologist if you can. have faith in yourself.
Hope this helps.
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