make it more concise, clear and professional, thank you very much!
可以刪改任何文字的!
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To: All Clerical Staff
From: H. Johnson
Subject: Monthly Meeting
Date: June 12, Year
Monthly Meeting Date: June 12, Year 1 As you know, the clerical staff members of this organization meet once a month to exchange ideas and discuss problems. Usually everyone meets in the Employee Lounge of Building A. This month management has agreed to pay for a luncheon meeting at Henderson's Restaurant. This restaurant specializes in steaks, but it also serves Diet Plates for you ladies who are watching your weight. The luncheon will run from 12:00 noon until 1:30 p. m. on Monday June 24. Although the luncheon will be a nice break from the working day, each staff member should bring her own note book and writing materials as some important points will be covered before lunch is served. If a staff member cannot attend, she should let me know in writing or telephone me at Ext. 7434 as soon as possible.
請幫助令這MEMO可以更簡單直接
2013-10-18 8:01 am
回答 (2)
2013-10-18 8:07 pm
✔ 最佳答案
As you said it is a Memo…, keep is itemize, not descriptive (story telling): This is to inform you that the coming monthly meeting arrangement as follows: Meeting Date: June 24, 2013Venue: Henderson’s RestaurantTime: 12:00 noon – 1:30 p.m.Food: Steaks & Diet dishes available.Bring: Note book and writing materials. If you cannot attend, let me know in writing or telephone Ext. 7434 ASAP. 
2013-10-18 10:59 am
To: All Clerical StaffFrom: H. JohnsonSubject: Monthly MeetingDate: June 12, Year Our monthly meeting for June 24th, 201X will be held inHenderson’s Restaurant in a luncheon format. The goal is to exchange ideas and discuss problems. This restaurant specializes in steaks, but italso serves Diet plates for those who are on diet. The luncheon meeting will be running fromnoon till 1:30pm. Every staff shouldbring a notebook to write down the vital points covered during the meetingprior to the lunch. Should a staffunable to attend, please let me know in writing or call me at ext. 7434 as soonas possible. Thank you.
2013-10-18 03:08:02 補充：
Please pardon me for saying that your memo is not that laconic, kind of repetitive. So I rewrite it in a little bit different way.
2013-10-18 03:08:02 補充：
Please pardon me for saying that your memo is not that laconic, kind of repetitive. So I rewrite it in a little bit different way.
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