Conversation between me and his mother have been beyond strained. Since I've gotten custody, there haven't been hardly any supervised visits, 2 to 6 months in between. My son is in preschool and doesn't understand why he can't see his mom or her family. (There is drug use, domestic violence, and violent felonies. I am protecting my kid). I have been telling him that there are just some things she needs help with and is taking classes, once the classes are done then he will get to see her more.
I've been trying to talk to my ex about making more visits (she doesn't have to pay child support and would only be responsible for getting herself to and from visits). All my ex says is "it's hard" and gives excuse after excuse why she isn't able to make visits.
At this point phone calls and video chats are out because of the amount of lies (hurtful ones at that) that she filled his head with so she really does need supervision.
Do you have any suggestions on what to tell my son?
Do you have any suggestions on what to say to my ex to try and get her to cooperate and participate in our son's life? What do I do if she doesn't want to be a part of his life? What do I do if she says she wants to be part of his life but doesn't do anything to be in his life?
Thanks for reading and giving any advice you can.
How can I help my son with his absent mother?
2013-09-07 5:04 am
回答 (7)
2013-09-07 5:21 am
✔ 最佳答案
Theres nothing you can do to get her to change...so except the fact that she may never change. At this point all you can do is give your son a ton of love and keep on keeping on. Your ex is a lost cause and its time to focus on your future as a single parent. I have a feeling you will be blessed with true love and your son will have that mother figure that will help fill that void. The best thing you can do is choose a lover that loves your son as her own. This would be the greatest gift. She's out there, give it some time and dont settle for anything, only true unconditional love. Good luck.
參考: I was a single mom and my ex lost his mind due to drug addiction. I raised her myself with help of my family and finally met the love of my life, He's the best man I know and he loves my daughter dearly. He really enjoys raising her with me. He has taught her so much and although she misses her dad she knows her stepdad is Superman!
2013-09-08 12:32 am
I feel for your son, because he can't understand what is going on. So the best thing to tell your son is his mother is a very sick person and just can't come all the time to see him. As far as she goes, tell her that from this point on you are going to have a journal and write down when she calls to talk to her son and when she visits. If she doesn't want to be active in her sons life then remind her that you no longer are going to make excuses for her behavior and you are not going to lie to your son because he hears enough of that. Some times it is better to not talk about her, and when he brings her up then be honest and tell him that she has other things to do and when she finds the time she will be around. Don't bad mouth her just don't bring her up. If she says she wants to be part of his life and doesn't do anything, then remind her that it is her choice on what she does and do not argue about it. Make your sons life one of happy experiences and do away with as much negative as possible. She will slowly disappear out of his life until it is to late and he won't want a thing to do with her. Never turn down a chance for her to see him, even if you have to take him and watch over the visit personally, but only do this when she is the one that calls.
參考: Was foster mother to my great grandson while his mother did the same thing. Since my grandson and her where not married he had to prove to the courts that he was the better parent. 9 months of going to meetings, parent classes, being supervised on a constant basis but he finally won and has his son, and they have a very normal life, and the mother dropped out of site. Her loss, he is a great kid.
2013-09-07 12:15 pm
Nothing .Your ex may not be ready yet to see your son.Your son is too young to know the truth yet. It seems like family counseling for both of you would be a good idea. There is a mediator
2013-09-07 12:10 pm
unfortunately not everyone is good at parenting, and she may never be. unfortunately it happens, I raised my daughter alone and all you can really do is be a good parent to him yourself. having her in his life may only confuse him and make him feel bad because being around her may make him feel that she doesn't really care to be there.
I dont recommend changing the subject, that will only add to his confusion, try to be honest without giving too much detail.
I dont recommend changing the subject, that will only add to his confusion, try to be honest without giving too much detail.
2013-09-07 12:10 pm
The main thing is you make your son feel as loved as possible by you. Go out of your way to spend quality time with him. You seem to be mixed up with what's going on with his mother you need to focus on the relationship you share with him/her. Unfortunately his mother is not in a good place and is sick. She should not be trusted around a child when drugs/violence are present. If she does not want anything to do with her son there is nothing you can do. All you can do is distance yourself in the hope she will wake up and realise what she's doing. Main thing.. Focus on your relationship with your child and back away from the situation. It's her responsibility to make contact ... Best of luck and I hope you find a woman who will love your child as much as you. Stay positive!
參考: Experience
2013-09-07 12:53 pm
You sound like a great father who wants the best for her child. the best thing you can do is to tell your ex that her son asks for and misses her and that he needs to see her more often. Make the extra effort to meet her at a park or zoo so she isn't left with total responsibility for him. If she simply will not cooperate, you can tell your son that mommy is sick and had to go away to get better and that you don't know when the doctor will be able to make her well. He needs to be told, that she loves him but just can't be with him while she is sick. He also needs to be told over and over that you will never leave him and that you need him to be happy. Put little notes in his lunch that he can have read to him at school. these will help him remember that you two are a team and that he has you. if you can, make sure he has lots of contact with your mother, or a caring and nurturing preschool teacher who will show him a good example. He needs an extra dose of hugs and attention ,
I know that it is asking a lot, but help him to make a scrap book of memories that he can share about what he is doing. it will allow quality time between the two of you, and if she ever does come back into his life, it will be a tie to what has gone on in his life while she has been "ill".
I know that it is asking a lot, but help him to make a scrap book of memories that he can share about what he is doing. it will allow quality time between the two of you, and if she ever does come back into his life, it will be a tie to what has gone on in his life while she has been "ill".
2013-09-07 12:07 pm
Tell her nothing. Its her job to redeem herself and be the mither. Child aid services will decide when she is fit, do nothing without them.
When the kid asks for her, change the subject.
When the kid asks for her, change the subject.
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