Beijing, the capital in China, the restaurant at the Chongwenmen branch in KFC, McDonald and Kongfu for serving ice cubes with a bacterial count were not meet national hygiene standards. In the KFC and Kongfu, found to have bacterial counts higher than toilet water. Three restaurant chains have apologized as the topic which had already become the most widely discussed issue. Yum Brands would release water tests from its other chains in China.
Nearly, someone have discovered KFC, MacDonald and KongFu sold the drinks with ice cubes’ bacteria are higher than toilet water. This is a horrible thing and if the company’ employees do small thing, clean the ice-making machine regularly. This thing will not to be happen. Otherwise, just like now, the ice-making machine was dirty and attracted lots of bacteria. This thing not only happens in China, but also in foreign. So, release water tests from its other chains in China is not enough.
For company, the aim of only earn much money is not available. Similarly, in a restaurant, some employees not clean the ice-making machine regularly as decrease cost and make ice cubes dirty, customers will go away and the profits will decrease.
A good restaurant which is has to clean the ice-making machine regularly and make sure selling clean and tasty food for customers. Also, polite and sincere employees can give a good feeling to customers. It’s possible to make authentic advertisement. Although cost will increase, lots of customers will come and the huge income can cover the costs.
Restaurants have to put their plans about corporate social responsibility into practice and be trusted by lots of customers before they can create high profits.
(thx)
請各位評一評我的作文
2013-08-03 2:40 am
回答 (2)
2013-08-03 7:30 am
✔ 最佳答案
First paragraph:The word "In" must be added in front of "Beijing" and you should add "city" after
the word "capital" as they are used TOGETHER. What's more, you should write
in this way "The ice cubes served by the Chongwenmen ... and Kongfu does not
meet national hygiene standards" instead. "were not meet" is used in passive
voice, not active voice. This problem discovered is a fact. You must use present
tense to write it. In addition, subject is missing before the word "found" and the
main verb "are" is missing before the word "higher". For the next sentence, the
word "which" is used so you must continue the sentence after the word "issue".
For the last sentence, again, you should use present tense. Past tense is used
in the website since the sentence is written as a reported speech.
Second paragraph:
The word "nearly" is used incorrectly. Nearly doesn't mean 最近. You should use
"recently" instead. The first sentence contains 3 main verbs "have discovered", "
sold" and "are", which is grammatically incorrect. Only one main verb can be
used in English. This is called Chinglish. The word "if" is used so you must
connect two sentences in this way "if the companies do something to improve
the situation,such as cleaning the ice-making machine regularly, this thing will
not happen". You should simply use "companies" instead of "company'
employees". Again, you use two main verbs in this sentence, which is "do" and
"clean". If you want to put "clean" in the beginning without the subject, you should
change it to "ing" form. The word "happen" is a intransitive verb (v.i.) so it cannot
be used in passive voice.
2013-08-02 23:33:06 補充：
卵打啲嘢太長。check y-mail. 我寄咗信俾你
2013-08-02 23:33:15 補充：
卵--->我
2013-08-04 00:07:35 補充：
I have replied your e-mail.
參考: Self-experience
2013-08-03 3:40 am
your composition is good. can talk about where is Beijing, what can we do in Beijing,where can we enjoy our food and the serving is good or bad. next time, i hope you will do better. keep on!!!! : )
收錄日期: 2021-04-13 19:36:36
原文連結 [永久失效]:
https://hk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130802000051KK00263