Is living together before marriage a good idea, why or why not?

Personal experience tells me "NO, not a good idea."
Unless there is an established legal commitment to each other prior to cohabitation, then the odds are that one member is setting up the other one for a great fall.

@Mad Dog - I understand your logic. So, please feel free to go out and marry a car, because potential spouses are nothing more than a material object that you can trade in for a better one later, eh?

yeah because then you have a preview of what it would be like to live with them after marriage.

I didn't read the article but statistically speaking, if you live together before marriage you are more likely to divorce.

to each their own.

personally, I don't need a ring to symbolize that. there's a bit more I want to go in, but that deters the convo into something tangent xD

living before marriage depends on who the two people are. There's too many factors to consider. one of them is emotional maturity. you've got to realize what it means staying together with another person. if both people's emotions don't match, there's got to be good communication to settle that problem. communication is very important lol...cuz you don't want to be living with the enemy when they're away from home, then pretending to be the best couple ever when both of you are home

I find living together before marriage to be a good idea. Spending a lot of time together or even many nights at each others places might give you some idea of what it's like to live together, but you can't truly know what it's like to live with someone unless you actually live together. Your better off finding out if you can live together before you put in the expense of getting married. You find out the most about what a person is like by living together.

Statistically, couples who live together before marriage have higher rates of divorce. It's a no-win situation for a woman, especially. What is the point? If you're ready for a commitment, get married. Usually living together is a man's choice so that he can reap the benefits of marriage without the responsibilities. Either get married or don't -- but don't play "trial marriage", which is what living together is.

No, because you lose the magic and beauty of starting a new life with your spouse. I'm also old school.

Probably not, they have a higher divorce rate.

Research indicates that there is a higher divorce rate among couples who lived together before getting married.

Marriage is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life, and only 12.% of all married couples end up staying together and being happy. And this takes 15-20 years to figure out. When it happens, it is the best thing in the world though.

So .. since happy marriages are so hard to create, and so (comparatively) rare, you'd think people would give themselves the best chances possible.

Other research "boosters" for the odds of making it work:
- Dating for at least 2 years before moving in or marrying
- Each individual having lived on their own for at least 5 years before moving in/marrying. Even better if they supported themselves at a comfortable level financially and felt happy with their life independently of whether or not they were involved with someone.

There are plenty of men and women hopping from boyfriend's/ girlfriend' s place to the next like motels.

You might think it's not a bad idea but it's clearly proven by statistics that coulples that live together before marriage most likely don't end up getting married. Those that do end up being married after living together have higher chance of divorce.

You either take relationship so casually that as soon as you find your partner's flaws and bad habits, you move out of the house. You're auditioning for husband and wife roles with the view that if he or she is not perfect, it's time to go.

Or, after being comfortable living together and staying in the relationship for a few years, you think the next logical step is marriage, so you settle for less and marry the poor idiot that happens to be in your life at that moment. plus your biological clock is ticking.
And not to mention how many women live with their men for years and years, but their men never propose. Plenty of them come to yahoo answers to complain.

I'm not surprised it doesn't work.

I think it's important, because even friends can have huge issues when they live together (as roommates, etc). I have a friend from college that I get along with great, but we were roommates for a few years and honestly, we were getting into fights very frequently towards the end. Now that we aren't living together, we get along just as well as before.

You really don't want to get stuck with a significant other that you're fighting with every day...

No, it is not a good idea

I'm not going to go into the whole thing about fornication and how the Bible forbids it, even though that is the main reason why living together before marriage is not good.

I'm just going to explain it so that the world can understand, because most of the world doesn't give a rip about religion.

So, forget religion exists and hear me out.

Living together before marriage is not good, because no matter how in love you may be with each other, you never know what could go wrong. You can have a nasty fight and break up right then and there. Your boyfriend/girlfriend picks up and leaves. You're left paying mortgage or rent for a house by yourself. He/she is not required by law to help pay. He/she is not required by law to do anything. He/she just picked up and left, and that is perfectly legal. So, what are you to do then? You're in an awfully sticky situation. If you were married, both of your names are on the mortgage or rent, and so that way, he/she can't pick up and leave because he/she would get in trouble for not paying. Marriage binds you together. This way, you are secure in your home and every other aspect of life because you have a husband/wife along with you. This way, one person cannot fall behind and just leave someone's life forever, leaving that person with all the financial stuff and other big, scary things. :)

So, to answer the question, living together before marriage is a bad idea.

No. People these days have no concept of commitment. If you really love someone, you will commit to them no matter what. You're not supposed to do anything in life halfheartedly. It's supposed to be about communicating to the other person that you won't just walk out on them, and the legal part of it helps to enforce this by making it harder to leave them.

No i don't agree this is not a good idea not at all in my opinion let me explain, you are living together doing everything like shopping, talking, walking spending time with each other then why not with legal relationship? if you are living together why not to get married and then live? buying ring and exchanging ring is not a relation. Feelings matter rather things. I must say and will recommend if you wanna live why not with legal and pure relationship.

No, it's a bad idea. People marry each other knowing they are going into it for a lifetime. Whereas, living together is like a marriage sans commitment. If living in couples face any problems, they just give up. But people who are married try their best to work out their problems, or atleast should do so.

Now, some people say that you cannot know about your partner without living with them first. But that is the beauty of marriage, where you learn to adjust with each other, learn to like each other despite of the little flaws each have. Even after living together and getting married, there is no surety you wouldn't discover something new about your partner.

There are certain things you should know about each other first. But you dont have to live together for that. You can ask each other, talk with each other, get to know each other, and find out if both of you have similar values and beliefs. That is important. You need to decide about how you are going to manage your finances, before marriage. This is very important, as money is the biggest reason for divorce. Previous debts, how you're going to divide your money, whether you want to study further. All this should be discussed. And personal issues. Who is going to take care of family, how will the work divided between the couple, how many kids, when, religion, location, etc. You do not need to live together in order to know this. You just need to be open and frank with each other, which you should be after a few months of relationship. And also, you can know whether you want to marry someone in a few months.

This is especially for women. You do not need to wait for years for your boyfriend to find out whether he loves you or wants to marry you. Otherwise after a year, he will just make excuses and go away. And this is also why you need to be old enough before you start dating, because dating leads to sexual attraction, which leads to sleeping together, which leads to pregnancy and other emotional issues. When you are dating, date for marriage or do not marry at all and keep dating whole life.

I think it's a great idea for couples to move in together due to the fact that if they ever want to get married in the future, then they should at least get to see how their partner is like in a daily routine to see if they both can be a perfect couple. It's like test driving a car. You don't just buy the car and hope that it works. You have to get the feel of the car before making the purchase.

On the other hand, when it comes to things like having a baby before marriage or having a joint bank account before marriage is a bad idea! Keep the banking accounts separate in case of legal issues and keep plans for having children later in the relationship as possible. Courts are NOT going to want to deal with either mess whether it's how much the couple think they should have back or custody battles for the little ones.

I think it's better to move in together before marriage. You don't want to get married and then realize you can't stand the way they live.

Absolutely mandatory if you're serious about it... BUT be prepared for a very messy fallout if you break up with someone a mere few months after you think you've found *shudders* THE ONE.

One of my housemates turned into my boyfriend of about 3 years. "Luckily" for all the Christians we got disdain from, we were both in university accommodation, both lived in separate areas of the country. Didn't stop the nasty youth pastor of the church we used to go to saying we should split up and move away from each other (Despite the fact that we were both contracted to live together at the time and just HAPPENED TO BE housemates initially).

You'll end up screwed over and/or having to pay for a very expensive divorce if you marry then live together without knowing a thing about the other person...

It's a very bad idea to live together before marriage. When a couple marry and have not lived together before, then when they start living together upon the marriage, and building a home together, it is fresh and exciting.
If two people live together before marriage, there is nothing special about it, it is just like being room mates. Moreover, the more they spend together, the more they will get on each other's nerves and it probably won't lead to marriage. Then they will split, and then each one will look for someone else, and never ending until they feel low and depressed because they haven't found a committed relationship.
When two people don't live together until they are married, by that time they have built respect, they have a loving relationship, a connection. When they start living together, they can make the best of it based on the respect they feel for one another.
When two people are not married, but just start living together, there is not as great a level of respect and closeness, and it is simply degrading to the relationship, reducing it to two people "living together" as opposed to two people married to one another, who live together.
Being married provides a greater incentive to make things work.
Also, once married they have greater maturity at least, they have taken that step.

It's a good idea to live with someone before you get married, if you really want to find out what someone is like to live with, because it's easier to go separate ways. Getting married first means you really want a true commiment to someone and being married means your in it for the long haul or at least it should be that way. You may want to try harder for things to work when your married and not so easy to get out of, then if you were just living together, it's easier to leave the relationship if just living togther. Plus if you get married it usually means you love this person and plan on being in it together forever. But if just living together it could be for convience reasons only.

BAD IDEA! The benefits of living together before/instead of marriage are the exact reasons why it is a bad idea. Think about it: people are attracted to the idea of living together without being married is because they want to "test out" their relationship before fully committing. However, this can lead to feelings of mistrust and independence. On one hand, a person can feel justified on not being faithful in the relationship, since the relationship is not following "legal/committed norms." On the other hand, a person can become defensive, feeling as though he/she is not good enough for the other, causing feelings of resentment.

Maybe if your like engaged if your just going out it might be a bad idea.

It depends entirely on how your boyfriend feels about marriage. I do NOT condone living together if your boyfriend is on the fence about marriage but you already know you want to get married. Or, even worse, if he doesn't want to get married and you do.

I moved in with my boyfriend, and he got so settled so quickly. Now, there's no incentive for him to ever propose because he's already got what he wants (living with me). Some guys look at moving into together as the reward for getting married. That's not what it is, and that's not a healthy way to look at it.

Before you move in with a guy you should be clear about what you both want and where you hope to end up. If you don't, moving in turns into a stalemate that you can't get out of without ending the relationship. And nobody wants that!

If you both know you want to get married, then moving in together is a natural next step. Just be sure you're ready to sleep in the same bed every night of your life. If you are, then you're ready :)

I'd usually say no, but now that I think about it, it's a better way to see if your life together will be good. God wants you to marry before living together, but worse is getting divorced. So I'd say it's okay, but not ideal.

No because then you aren't showing them that you can be committed. It is a sign that all they want is an easy pass out in case things get rocky they can just skip out. There is no such thing as a "test run" before marriage. You know what you are getting into way before you tie the knot with a person, and if you don't its because someone is holding back, and that is already going to be a problem in a fresh marriage. Do not live together, it doesn't make any sense. Make a commitment, put a ring on it, and start packing after the wedding, you will be so glad you did!!

GOD does NOT approve you living in sin and having pre-marital SEX !!!

I think living together before marriage is only a good idea if you are ready to get married. If you are ready to get married in general and just looking for the right person than it will give you insight to what you will be looking forward to in that marriage. It will also show you if you can live with your mate and put up with each others habits. If we look at it from God's point of view than it is wrong to shack up. Base on bible principles you should court your mate without sex with a group of people or in public setting so you can really get to know one-another without the premature feelings of intimacy before marriage.

Statistics show that 55% of all cohabiting couples got married within five years time, while the other 40% break up. And the breakups are usually stressful and painful, leaving one person out of a home and having to start over again. The couple may think “Wow, glad we didn’t get married!” however there’s not concrete statistic that says living together prior to getting married will increase your chances of longer lasting marriage. IN FACT, studies show that those who live together after making plans to marry or getting engaged have about the same chances of divorcing as couples who never cohabited before marriage. And those who moved in together before making any clear decision to marry appear to have higher risk of divorce.

Bad, very bad idea. Many people say you don't really know a person until you live with them; totally untrue as there are countless people who have been together for years, whether married or not and still really don't know each other. My whole issue with dating and relationships is no one really wants to just take time to get to fully know and understand someone, people are so quick to fall in love and realize later they don't even like the person, much less know anything really important about them. I personally would not ever want to live with someone, for me if we see each other every other weekend and talk and text on a regular that's plenty for me, who wants to have someone in their face 24/7 unless you have made the real commitment of marriage and then that's for the rest of your life; think about it..

for what it's worth, my opinion:
There may come a point in a relationship where you are thinking about taking your relationship to the 'next' level IE: where it could end up with family commitments...
(forget whether a ring or a church is involved - you may not appreciate that the Bible prescribes no ceremony and does not distinguish between living together and being 'married')
There are a lot of people that prescribe to there being 'the one' out there, and that living together helps to work out if this is the 'one' - this is complete trash (sorry) and is an excuse to decide after a time, that oh no, this isn't the 'one' after all...
The reality 'should' be that we come to a decision as a couple, that we are going to commit to each other come what may - and if both parties commit to it, (whether over a key ring, or a golden one..) it will last. However the non-committal way is now the norm - 'I'll try you out' with no obligation to 'buy' is the prevailing attitude and leads to one or the other being 'unhappy' unfulfilled' or whatever and inevitable break up (exactly why most 'lived together' couples end up splitting up -not ALL of course)
Now marriage of course is perceived as a serious commitment - so serious that many do actually back out before it happens - a symptom that they realise that it won't work when they give it deep thought. Most couples that begin to live together probably don't give THAT level of thought to their decision - IE: the 'this is a once-off decision that you must commit to and work at for the rest of your life...' that you would apply to marriage.
Hence, because of the casual way in which a 'living together' relationship can happen, naturally some of those relationships were never going to last the course of time - and for those who DID consider carefully the commitment before they made it, chances are that many of them are still together and are to all intents and purposes 'married'.
So if I have to answer in short form, I say it's not a good idea because it is something that is easier to get into than marriage, but the commitment needed for the relationship to survive is exactly the same as it would be for a marriage - in my most humble opinion.
I think it is beholden on a couple who want to be in a serious relationship (and possibly raise a family) to commit (see how many times I used that word - and I'm a bloke!) to seeing it through - mutual trust is paramount, and nothing says trust like a wedding ring.

There are obvious problems with this study. They look at length of time spent together post marriage instead of time cohabiting. The honeymoon period for those who cohabitate is shifted, and does not start at marriage, skewing how long partners actually stay together.

Additionally, research shows that if you intend to marry, cohabiting doesn't negatively influence chances of separating earlier. This, combined with the fact that length of the relationship is measured from marriage and not when a couple moves in together, may actually show that it's beneficial.

And even if it does happen that cohabiting prompts early separation, that's probably a good thing - you're learning that you don't want to live and create a life with a person who cannot share your lifestyle.

However, it may also set of unrealistic expectations if you choose to have children. Everything is great, then you've got a kid that demands time and attention you can no longer devote to each other. But that is more a question of whether having kids is beneficial, and not cohabiting.

Maybe I'm bias - I'm engaged and living with my fiance. We're both childfree.

It is a bad idea to cohabit before marriage. Firstly the mystery disappears i.e. what was in the old days reserved for a happy married life i.e. a happy consummation of the marriage takes place before the marriage. Secondly it does not show any commitment towards each other as the cohabitees can walk out of each other without any recourse. Thirdly it puts one or the other party in a pretty vulnerable state as the partner will have to find a new residence which may not be immediately available. Fourthly once rejected the other party may hold a grudge which may turn into hatred which in turn will rob that person of logical thinking and may give an inferiority complex to the jilted person. A married couple would be liable to have a quiet and calm chat in case of a severe difference in their thinking whereas cohabitees without any commitment towards each other will just get up and leave. All in all, cohabitation is an undisciplined and unsecured life whereas a married life is full of commitments and a lot of discipline and will make each other think before they do anything daft.

For me I would definitely like to live with the person for a while before getting married, I know back in the day- that people would get married then live together-I think living together is the new "normal", if you said to somebody, we are getting married, and you haven't been living together, I think you would get the look my grandma would give for living with somebody before you are married. Things have changed, people want to "play house" for a bit and see how it is. I also think it is a sign of more commitment but not the full "marriage" yet. You get all the marriage benefits just about without the legal bits. I also think that that it is a good way to feel each other out, see if you can actually CAN live with somebody, and divorce is so much more common these days (which I think is too bad) that everyone is almost scared to take that step, without I guess renting each other for a while before they buy. So yes I am for living with each other first, I think its a good idea.

Bad because that is fornication which is forbidden in the Bible.

I believe NO. Before marriage people can easily leave each other, you know destructive bad habits can easily be noticed before marriage in interactions and so there is no need that couples live with each other. But if they do so, they will understand each other deeply, If they be happy with each other, nothing will remain for enjoying after marriage, and if they see any minor misbehavior they will consider it as a sign of mismatch and they will readily depart from each other because patience of people is really low before marriage.

(Excuse me for any grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.)

The article is utter rubbish, You wouldn't buy a car without a test drive. I have been married twice, I did not live with my first wife before marriage and she was a nightmare, and that marriage lasted 27 months.
I lived with my 2nd wife for 6 years before marrying in 1993. enough said. (OMG! 20 years this year)

Are people that hard up? Or is it a way of saving money in case things don't work out?

I wouldn't say people need to live together before marriage but the more they do stay together then it could be for the best. I'd never lived with a partner until I met my wife. She told me that she was worried about me "handling" it because she had lived with previous partners before we met. She was worried that I would pick up on a bad habit of hers or something and be unable to handle it. We've been living together more than 5 years now and the only bad habit she has? Sometimes she can't be bothered to get a bath towel and uses mine... I complain how it feels like it has been licked by a golden retriever. Sometimes she leaves wrappers laying on the kitchen work top. I like to have everything looking clean but she has helped me to let my hair down a bit. May be I was too rigid and now I feel more relaxed. We had some minor arguements how she would leave wrappers/packaging in the kitchen as I wante her to clean up after herself. Then it became friendship. She cleans up after me when I throw my socks anywhere in our bedroom... so I return the favour by binning things she should be putting in the bin like the torn packaging etc. May be she is still used to her student lifestyle... when I visited her once in her digs, there was orange peel on the windowsill... two weeks later it was still there... I'm not her mother, so I did not tell her off and I binned it for her. At least our home does not have orange peel laying around. I don't think it is necessary to live with someone... but it can help.. some people can't handle a partner's bad habits and need to know what life will be like if they live together and assess the situation... some people need to put themselves in the situation so they can adapt to life... and then you have me... I told her I would not be too bothered and it would not be a huge deal... to me the quality of our relationship is more important than my soaking wet bath towel.. I go and get another one and sometimes even use the wet one. Staying together might help but look at me... didn't really do that and still happy as larry. In fact, I think staying together before marriage would have been too intense for me. I was looking forward to staying together after marriage! I would not have had something to look forward to then. We chose a house, I brought it... we got married... and moved in after our honeymoon. It was god adding those homely touches preparing the house for her... anything she wanted I had it... from cake stands, baking trays, the TV she wanted, the hoover... the bed... as much as I could... and when we moved in we decorated together and built a home. It felt special and I don't think it would have been the same for me if we were living together and then married.

Yes it is a good idea. I am doing that myself. Mainly I am doing it because I can't afford to get married and don't see the point of spending all that money on a wedding.
But if you live with a person you will know them better and see what their living habits are. You will get used to them and that takes the pressure off when you do get married. (you won't have to worry if you can live with each other)
It's better to move in with someone and get to know them -you don't really get to know someone else you live with them I'm told- then you know for sure if you can live together etc rather than getting married and finding out you can't get on with them for whatever reason.
Moving in together is a commitment and I think it should be the step you take before marriage to see if your relationship has a good foundation to be made legal. Divorces are expensive too after all.
Also if you need a legal document to say you're in a relationship it's not much of a relationship.
The only reason people think marriage is so good is because of religion, most people I know live together before they get married and all these statistics are just figures. Everyone is different.

yes it is a very good idea so then you will know how the person is The things that makes you mad that he or she does or does not do or do cause if you do not you are going to be living with this person the rest of your life and you will already know what you are getting yourself into

I lived with my husb for two years before we married. Now been married 40 years. You really only get to know someone when you live with them and, despite his smelly feet and other small faults, I found him to be kind, good and loving.

Must go, he's just made me a cup of tea, bless him.

Mo
Ma and Grandma

I think it is a good idea, many people have years of happiness together while they live together, but the moment marriage comes up things turn sour.

The mentality of marriage nowadays is different to what it was 30 years ago. It was a commitment and a sense of being tied by the bond in a relationship that is run on terms that in all due respect pandered on the husband being the bread winner and the wife being the housewife.

Nowadays the female partner is just as important to the security of finances as the husband, and in her own right has her own independence that she never had before.

However there are still men out there who expect and believe women to be dutiful and be the housewife their mums want and reality hits them divorce follows. Making the actual marriage ceremony a farce.

Maybe living together thus growing an understanding to each others needs is the way forward, and is the future, and the need to actually put these in writing by marriage can be detrimental, because if you marry in essence it is a contract. But in the here and now it is far better to go with pay as you go.

Living together is a bad idea, because the dynamics of the relationship are different from the dynamics of a marriage. In a marriage, the level of commitment is so much deeper, that it is much more difficult to change one's mind and get out of the relationship, so the interaction of the couple shows more tolerance, forgiveness, making allowances for the other, and adaptations than in a relationship where the only obstacle to getting out of it is getting another house or apartment.

It's the best thing you can do, believe me from experience you never know some until you live with them a few months.

This is depends to people who thinks of the idea.

Personally to me, I don't think living together before marriage is a good idea
because when one decided to move out, how would the other one cope with this
life like the bills and so on? What more to say the kids?

One case happened in my country, Malaysia - For 7 years this couple never
got married and they have children. One day the boyfriend didn't come back
and the girlfriend couldn't file for a police report due to they're not married and
if she goes filing the case, another case would appear - "The issue of their marriage"

Another thing is,living in together isn't encourage in here because Malaysia's
main religion is Islam and all the grips being 'embedded' will be different in what
being measured in every law in the country.

There are so many things we need to consider before moving in with a partner.
You're talking about financial issue,responsibility etc.

Some thought this is a good idea.Some thought this is a good tryout before get
married but not all do.

And I am one of them who thought this is not a good idea.

This may out of the topic but then I believe in the future, and if it's not work out
nobody wants to flash this back especially when we have lived together with
one person.

Thank you!

No because it ruins everything, you loss your dignity.

It is a very GOOD idea to live together prior to getting married.

As I always say - You wouldn't go out and buy an expensive car...without taking it for a test drive first!

It is by living together first - that you truly learn and discover who that person really is. You see them at their best and you see them at their worst. Not only do you learn about the cute little things that they do - you also discover the unattractive habits they possess. By living with that person first...you can learn a lot - and decide whether or not you really can share the rest of your life alongside them.

Yes for rich couple it is the best idea so that in the even of a breakup you don't need to go through costly divorce proceedings and all that non sense.

We are in the 21st century and we should just cohabit With whoever we trust best.

While the political and religiously correct answer is no, I have to say from experience that you don't know someone until you live with them a while. You see their hidden side and all their habits good or bad. Assuming you want a marriage longer then your typical Hollywood couple, it is probably a good idea to know the person you want to spend your life with. Premarital sex is another animal all together. As a Christian I do not believe that is right. Unfortunately that has not stopped me from falling into it often, as my girlfriend and I are not married and we have been together around 14 years. I want to get married because I hate the idea of premarital sex, but I think she is afraid to because everyone she knows who is married have bad marriages full of dishonesty, heated arguments, and cheating. She thinks that is what we will turn into.

I am speaking out of experience: I don't think it's a good idea to move in together before marriage. I was with my domestic partner for at least 8 years before he bothered to decided to get married and we had a child before this popping the question with a dysfunctional amount of relationship issues which weren't resolved. I think you should (live) life before getting married and taking advantage of couples therapy before and during marriage, if there's any issues that arise. Sometimes you forget why and how you actually love someone else. its really about your relationship's maturity level and your individual level of self awareness. Living with someone can be challenging at times. Not being married and having the same issues as a married couple is crazy behavior. its all just paperwork in the end.

I've been in a relationship five years and I am now currently living with my partner and we aren't even engaged. The thing you have to remember is that all relationships are different. What might work for some, wont work for others. You just have to communicate and figure out what you BOTH want and then go from there.

I personally think moving in together BEFORE marriage is a good thing. When you move in with a person, you find out so much more about them and actually, some people find that they don't like the habits their partner has in their own home. So you see, you get to experience what life would be like with the person and if you unfortunately don't like it and then break up, it would be a lot less messy than a divorce.

Yes, so that you really get to know what each other are like, in life, and habits, etc.

Why- Because it will give you an insight of what your signing up for ,its better to find the faults before you shake hands and sign the contract!
Why not- Because you may end up doing all the things you were waiting to do after marriage e.g sex/kids! You may also not want to find out the bad things about them that you never wanted to know and then break up and believe you may never find true love again!

Both sides are reasonably good for someone in year....(not finished high school) anyways , I think it is better to move in together and then if you have bumps and bruises along the way and STILL get along you were either made for eachother or your very forgiving either way i hope you make the best decision or if it isn't a personal question and just something you randomly wanted an answer for i hope i got you the best answer either way GOOD LUCK =P

Personally I approve of the idea. Living together can be the best way to test out your relationship after a while of being a couple. I don't think I could ever marry someone without knowing how they acted at home, how messy they were, etc. Also in this day and age, many people don't bother to get married anymore because they feel that they don't need the ring to prove that they are in a committed relationship and they want to live together anyway. It can't hurt too much either way, if it turns out that you can't stand the person's annoying habits then you dodge a bullet. If you end up liking the way things are maybe it'll show you that you are ready for marriage, so yes I think it's a good idea.

1. It makes it too easy to drift into marriage
Practical problems like financial pressures or roommate issues can make moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend seem to be the easiest solution, whether or not you're certain that this is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. Then, as the months turn into years and you're still under the same roof, you naturally start thinking about marriage -- if nothing else because it seems to be the next logical step. If you've been living together long enough and things are going fine, eventually there's a subtle pressure that makes it seem like having a wedding is something you should do. And when you haven't had the space (literally) to take a step back and objectively consider whether this person is truly the best match for you, the situation is ripe for sliding into marriage by default, rather than getting married as an active, conscious choice that you're genuinely thrilled about.
2. It makes the proposal anti-climactic
Ah, the marriage proposal. From time immemorial it's been romanticized as a huge climax in two people's lives -- and most of the romance comes from the idea that the man and woman are entering into a huge new commitment together. A proposal can still be beautiful and touching if you're already living together, but it'll lack a certain gravitas. If you're already engaging in all the intimacy and sacrifice that comes with making a home together, the moment of the big decision has long passed; in a way, your engagement is already over even before rings get involved.
3. It renders most wedding traditions meaningless
Most wedding traditions become obsolete when we view the institution from the lens of secular culture, but a few of our cherished rituals that couples most look forward to when planning a wedding are particularly hollow and superfluous if you're already living together:
The honeymoon can still be a fun getaway for a newly married cohabitating couple, but it lacks the specialness that's there when it's the first time that a couple has spent extended amounts of time together under the same roof.
A father walking his daughter down the aisle has long been a sweet symbolic act of a woman going from her parents' house to the house of her own new family, but even its symbolism becomes strained when she's long been building a home with her new spouse.
Wedding registries were always a way that two people coming from their parents' homes could get a jumpstart on furnishing their new digs; if you're already set up in a fully functioning household, there's no need for those kinds of gifts.
And though I can't say I'd be sad to see this one go, there's no point in hosting bachelor/bachelorette parties when the engaged couple's last nights living on their own happened a long time beforehand.
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4. It sends the message that marriage isn't important to you
I know that most people don't intend to send this message when they move in with their significant others; as I said above, many people I know chose to live together first out of a desire to avoid divorce. However, the message that you and your boyfriend or girlfriend send to one another when you set up house before a wedding is that marriage isn't that important as to be worth waiting for. When you cohabitate, you're implicitly saying that your future marriage isn't valuable enough to be worth tough sacrifices -- and that sets a dangerous precedent for when you do take the next step in your relationship. Combine that with point #1 about drifting toward engagement by default, and it puts a crack in the foundation of your relationship that could take years to fix, if it doesn't spread and get worse over time.
5. It limits your options
Most of the religious couples I know adhered to the idea that they'd never date someone whom they weren't interested in marrying, at least not for long. A friend once mentioned that she had a very nice boyfriend in college whose company she enjoyed, but when it became clear that they weren't meant to be together for life, they mutually and immediately broke it off. When I first encountered that idea it seemed unnecessarily strict, but now it makes a lot of sense. Marriage is the most life-changing commitment you'll ever make, and so it makes sense to order your entire dating life toward that goal. When you're paired up with someone who is not ideal for you, you are missing opportunities to meet the person who is the man or woman of your dreams -- and living together makes it hard to extricate yourself from lukewarm relationships, much more so than if you'd maintained separate residences. Sure enough, just a few days after my friend and her nice college beau parted ways, she met the man who is now her husband of fifteen years, and they have one of the strongest, most joyful marriages I've ever seen.
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The oldest couple as my patients were married 77 years. The average age number of years my patients have been married is 40 years. These loving couples are what we call the vintage "Greatest Generation." Here is one example of I am told. One fella is bed side with his wife of over 70 years. Holding her hand as she life slowly ebbs from them. He knew her since second grade. He was on leave for 30 days. He went with a fellow soldier to Sears. This young lady was working in the furniture section. He states 7 days later they were engaged then 18 days later they were married. Been married every since for 70 plus years.

Another couple was married young. Next door neighbors moved in 24 years ago. They would drink coffee on the back porch every morning. Seventeen years of the 24 years of being neighbors the one husband eventually died of a stroke. Moving forward the widow was like a grandmotherly figure because she was (is) twenty years older than the neighbors. They honor the marriage and continued to sustain the widow as if the husband were alive to this day.

The point here is that its about the depth and width of the relationship that determines of "till death do us part" is a good idea. A series of relationships, a community of like minded people who believe in the fidelity of marriage encourage the future of marriage being a good idea. The ring and material aspect of marriage is a result of the time and struggle of the relationship that the two have persevered with the support of others of like mind.

Best

marriage is just a paper and living together is better that way if you 2 end up changing your minds u can always just leave without the divorce circus

I am from an era when your girl friend had to be in by 10 pm, you could never dream of going on holiday together even if you had the money and "courting" usually led to marriage after an engagement. That was 60'ish years ago and times have certainly changed since then. But the fact is that I although I am a traditionalist in many things I would not condemn people moving in together and who am I to say what's right and what's wrong. However, if people move in together then I would aver that it should be for the right reasons ie; they are committed but for a variety of reasons could never marry for years in the future or they intend to stay together for the foreseeable future and wish to share their lives in every way. However, I am a little suspicious of the "getting to know if we are sexually compatible" syndrome and suspect it is a ploy to have sex freely and when one of the couples get tired of the arrangement they move on. Some people have moved in with different partners in what are in effect mini-marriages and its all too easy to enjoy the experience and then walk away. So, at its best I would say that it can be a good way of life for committed couples even if it doesn't work out in the long run and at its worst is a licence to have sex "like married people." There is one other point worth making which is that I am assuming that we are talking about ages around 20 something people who are reasonably mature but there is a huge danger that young girls in particular of 15 or 16 is will copy them and also want to play house. They will find no shortage of willing partners but in this case I would have to say that moving into together at such a tender age leads to promiscuity and is not to be recommended.

I would say it is! Why not "test the waters" and see how things are? It's a bad idea to jump into something like marriage + living together without having any experience in the latter. You're going to be doing this for (hopefully) a long time, so you might as well try living together before marriage and see if there's a routine you can set up beforehand, and you can get the annoying pet peeves pinned down and out of the way (she leaves the fridge door open all the time, he doesn't turn the TV off when leaving the house). Otherwise these little things could end up being unwanted stressors down the road and you know how it is.

"Goddamnit, EVERY SINGLE TIME! You leave the peanut butter knives all over the counter EVERY SINGLE TIME!"

"Damnit, woman! What about you rearranging my underwear drawer! I can't find my favorite boxers when you're canoodling with my linens!!"

Living in the same residence together for any length of time does not mean that the couple is committed to spending a lifetime together. "Exchanging key rings" may just be a convenient way for the couple to be together and share expenses (rent or mortgage, food, car payments, utilities, insurance, etc). However, living together does not necessarily fulfill a complete commitment for any length of time, as many couples split apart when there are disagreements that cannot be resolved, or when one or both individuals are no longer 'in love' with each other. It's too easy to just 'walk away' when things are troubling or difficult.

Living together before marriage is also too expedient for one or both individuals to 'go their separate ways', which often leads to one or both of them carrying unnecessary hurt and/or anger for a long time afterward. While dating, the couple has plenty of time to discuss whether or not they wish to take their relationship to the level of a lifelong commitment.

I believe marriage is a personal decision between the two people involved, and it should be a mutual one. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and should still be considered one, regardless of what society's ideas of marriage entails today. Marriage is not all "hearts and flowers", or planning expensive elaborate weddings, or just wearing a ring to show the rest of the world that one is married.

Ideally, marriage ensures that when the couple does decide to make a lifelong commitment (while still dating), when they finally do marry and live in the same home, it will provide the couple a healthy and wholesome environment to live in. It also assures safety, security and a state of well-being in their home should the couple decide to have children, raising them in gratifying and stable surroundings.

Yes its a good idea!!!!!!!!!!!<3 ;)

It is good, because you might find that you cannot stand to live them and it would be a little late if you are already married.

Living together before marriage is very important and good.

The question is important and invest a way to live that become always more practiced in our society. To give a right answer is not possible to stay only by a side. I explain better. Sometimes is a good idea and sometimes itsn't. And dipend directly on the couple itself. Unfortunately many couples do this choice because of theyr unsureness in life. They don' t like to take binding decisions that can make become theyr life less free of what they like. Then in this case is a question of immaturity. Also when they are not sure of the rightness of theyr choice that demonstrate the maximum in not beeng a good idea. But if the couple decide in doing this choice considering all the good and evil it can carry, I think that is good idea. In this point of view I see involved all those couples that to evit a dangerous esit in divorce, try to live together to see if this union is right or not. Thank you very much for the answer now I come back in philosophy where I come from. Bye.

Try before you buy.
Saves a lot in the long run.

To be honest, you need to know that person like how you guys meet: colleagues,work, childhood, or at work. First main thing, is to be honest to each other, have each other's back, communicate, ask what they need or want. just to show respect to your spouses. whenever you feel ready. It's may take time to give them a expensive gift for engagement stuff or whatever you want to give them. There no need to be fighting over a little dumb stuff. if he or she angry about something. tell them to sit and time to talk. you or them needs to understand so they have feelings. like if they can clean, cook, or have some talents to do around the house. tell them are they ready to move someone's house if they are comfortable. don't just "use" that person just because you love someone whose have money. that does not work. only thing is to make that person happy. get a sweet, caring, lovable person in your life you want to share with. it does not have to do with all booty and business. it have to do with person logical and beauty inside and out. example: if your husband or wife loses their jobs.life is not easy. talk to them what they like to do. encourage them to get a better jobs, good credit, and mortgage. stay strong and healthy relationship.
-Kendra

Absolutely yes. For most people, marriage is meant to last forever and be with one person. If you see someone on a semi-regular basis, when you start dating or early on in the relationship, you're generally on your best behavior because it's not something you have to maintain all day every day.

When you live with someone, you get a better sense of who they are and how they operate on a day-to-day basis. This gives you more insight to their actual character and important things like finding out how responsible or clean they are, issues that will cause problems if they're discovered only after rings have been exchanged.

Living together is a kind of "test drive" for marriage because that's what marriage is; it's waking up next to each other every morning, living your lives together, and going to bed together every night. It's the hard work of the everyday as well as the pleasant escape of a date or evening spent together before going to separate zip codes. If your relationship cant handle sharing a living space, then it's very unlikely to survive trying to share lives.

From personal experience, I almost got married but because we made the decision to live together first we discovered over time that we weren't the people we actually wanted to marry and went our separate ways. If that'd been something we'd have discovered after getting married, perhaps with a house or even children in the mix, the situation would have been far more painful and complicated than it already was.

Living together before getting married is one of the best tests you can put a relationship through.

Yes, you need to know whether you can cope with the person you are going to marry.

You really shouldn't marry unless you've been going out with the person for at least 2 years if not more, to make sure this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with or not.

sign a premartial agreement. The husband will take everything these days.

Before you move in together, dont you have to know your partner? If you know each other well which qualifys you to move in together, why not get married? Why lose the magic of discovering something new about your spouse?

In the past, people used to get married before living in together, and the divorce rate was close to 0%, if you build your relationship on sex and that stuff, it will not last! Spend some time with your partner, if you really love each other then get married!

you should not marry before having sex with each other. because that's dumb

Very very bad thing. This relationship will not last long. Are you human or beast. Behave like a man

to all the nay sayers it worked great for me for the bad and for the good, I lived with a couple of guys, one I had no choice due to circumstances at home, and another let me know he was never was going to give me a commitment. With my husband, I knew the moment I met him I was going to marry him, it was like I was waiting for him. We talked marriage two weeks into our relationship and I had a ring on my finger after a month after I met him and we were married a year later. We are going to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary next month.
I'm really sick of people shoving your religion down people's throats, most of the religions are about a century behind, times have changed so they need to update. If it doesn't work for you so be it but for the open minded it can work. I know I'm going to get some nasty comments about it but too bad, its your religion not mine.

Statistically speaking, couples who move in together before marriage have a higher divorce rate and lower marital happiness. If you know the person well enough I don't think there will be too many surprises once you do move in together. I think that if you move in together beforehand, the marriage commitment will not have be very significant because you would have already had all the perks of marriage without the lifelong commitment.

Truthfully, I think marriage is a primitive concept. I call the father of my kids my husband, but we will never be married. I will not change my surname and erase my lineage. I will not pick out a white dress that signifies my virginity, to wear once, and I will not be the center of all attention for a day that costs as much as a house. Love is unpredictable. Marriage is patriarchal.

My sister and her boyfriend lived together for about 4-5 years before they got married. If anything it strengthened their relationship, and proved that they can live with each other happily. Even through 3 separate moves in an effort to find their ideal home.

Why is this news??? People have been moving in together, living together, then deciding they want to get married (or not) for 50+ years. I'd never marry someone I hadn't lived with because you do learn all the personal, private quirks someone may have, you have to begin to figure out how to juggle money and limits; you learn how to do the give and take, compromise, how to apologize. It's easy to put up a front on dates, usually it's only a few hours and then you're back to your regular self, but you can't tell if someone is a pig or has hoarding issues or feels that there is a defined division of labor by gender that he or she will never cross. If you don't live together, you don't know if he/she can tolerate living with your beloved pet. Living every day and night with someone gives you a clearer idea of what living forever with that person will be like.

yes, absolutely. Living together gives you not merely a vague idea of what married life with that person could possibly be like, it gives you the whole picture of what married life with that person WILL be like, period. Live together for at least a year, better two before tying yourself to them for the rest of your life - if you don't, you're taking a big gamble. But it's your life, do what you like with it :)

yes as you can get used to each other before marriage is created between the two

Yes, living with your partner before marriage is a way to gain there trust and you'd have the chance to get the know the person even better and to give give you the opportunity to see what life would be like with marriage involved. Marriage is just the chance of a name and just being partners and married is needed the same amount of commitment .

it is more common now a days for couples to live together before marriage this makes it a good idea and relevant to having the idea of what it would be like less chance of divorce.

Adultery.

Statistics say no, but I personally feel it's the best way to know if you and your partner are truly a good match...until you've dealt with all the day-to-day, mundane aspects of life as a couple, and know each other's quirks and peeves (does he forget to put toilet seat back down??? does she leave her makeup products all over the bathroom counter??? etc) you can't really know if there are things about that person that over time might really get on your nerves...not to mention, bigger things like financial responsibility, housekeeping, how they deal with kids/pets (if applicable), etc...

I would never consider marrying again, without living together first...there are too many surprises when all you've done is date and and live separately before legally binding your life (and assets) to someone elses...

Yes...it is a good idea!
Why?
I'll give a clue for the clueless.
Would you buy a car without a test drive?
I thought Not!
d;o)

I think once you live together, there is nothing really to learn or explore about your partner once you are married.
A friend of mine lived with her partner for 4 years, prepared her wedding for nearly 2 and then when they were married she was disappointed and said she thought she would feel different.
My husband and I didnt live together until we got married and it was exciting finding out new things about him.

If they are just going out, it's not a good idea. from a Christian perspective, living together can be a temptation. Nevertheless, it depends on mental fortitude.
If engaged.. well, it is not done till it's done (the wedding!)

Yes and No but mainly yes.
Living together before marriage is a good idea because it makes you find out if you can get on with each other 24/7, it helps you work together by sharing house work and bill paying, it makes you a better team and shows you whether you have a good relationship or whether there are problems - so helps you figure out if it will work in the long run. It shows that you are both committed to the relationship.
I say no as well because once you get into a settled life sometimes all the lust goes out the relationship and the hard bit starts, you get to find out what you don't like in each other as well as like in each other.

Marriage is just a piece of paper which binds people, it is money making by the church and other businesses otherwise marriage would be free. I think it is more sensible for a couple to buy a house together rather than waste their money on a big party for their friends and family in the name of God. What bigger commitment can you have than living together?

It depend from people to people, cultural influences, religious morals etc. No, marriage or wedding ring doesn't mean really anything about being a right.....of course it just play a role on law side.

For example, Some couples stay together for ages before marriage and they are happy.....some couples got marriage just after few hours ago, but life is already miserable for them.

how do you know you can stand each others morning breath ? I am not a cook - what if she hates the kitchen ? What if she turns out to be gay ?

No, marriage is what we are made of. and living together you try and if you don't like released, never serious or always be insecure step. and the marriage when you're there you work at, give more than you receive. get to know before that it is the best on away you will share things or do thing, you can spend time and time and when you realize become a part of the family and that's the main reason to unite a big family.

Personally I don't feel it is. Living with someone is one of the benefits you get after marriage, and since many people get the benefits without the commitment it means some make excuses not to marry. It ought to be reserved for married folk because it teaches young people that you do get rewards for commitment.

I think it's a bad Idea because when you guys are living together you won't really get to experience the "Time Apart" feeling because your always around eachother and being apart makes you love or care about that person even more. And if you guys haven't discussed the whole "Marriage" Ideal it's basically setting you up for failure and pointless to even Live Together !

No it's imperative that a couple stay away from a physical relationship as long as possible to avoid a situation where a relationship can be more easily be prone to cheat and where the woman can get pregnant.
It would be better that they marry, any experience they wish to accumulate from one another can occur under the sanctity of marriage and marital obligations.

Without living together first ? NOT A CHANCE. You find out if she has a bad temper , PMs ,Bad breath in the morning ,Self centred , refuses to use deodorant , Can't cook or simply won't go in the kitchen, snores like a donkey , want's her mother to move in with us , get's all stupid after a couple of drinks , leaves feminine hygiene products all over the bath room , gabs on the phone for hours , gets mad when you comment on her weight,

Certain things are better if it is being followed as per the social customs and obligations. There is no harm in it as my marriage was an arrange *** love marriage. We met each other when my parents visited their house and we saw each other and started talking to each other through our mobile. This continued for 5 to 6 months till we saw each other again only when I visited their home. I stayed for one night. That night we managed to meet each other at their terrace at mid night. She was the only daughter at their home, so no one was there to object her. After two year we got married. As my parents passed away with in few days. I had to settle out everything after this mishappening. Though we remained unmarried for two years but we use to meet and visit together. We were certain about our relationship and our would be marriage date. We finally married together and we are expecting our Baby soon. God is Great and helps everyone till the time you are not doing any crime and not letting others to shed at least a drop of tear.

Living together might be a good idea BUT a better idea is living on your own as a two single people. Its amazing what one can learn when they find their independence before they have to learn to live/cohabitate with another. Once you know who you are and what you need you will both be better prepared to understand and respect the other for what they need in the relationship. Good luck.

I think it is since you get to see the way your boyfriend/girlfriend acts when they are home, you would also probably be more comfortable with your new spouse after the wedding/honeymoon.

I guess no because you'll get irritated and cannot spend a good and long life with your partner!

I would say it was important to do so - you never know someone until you live with them and this way, if you're not compatible, you don't have to marry (and subsequently divorce them).

This isn't an excuse to sleep around, making the choice to live together should be something two people in a long term, committed relationship should do.

I think it is a great idea to live together before marriage. Wonderful preview of marriage. But it is true jumping into marriage without practice work out.

So I think it's not about the practice. I think it's more about seeing the realty, how well you can adapt and love between you two.

I think it is wrong in the site of God if you are living home then there is no need for marriage.Men appreciate woman that has worth and respects themselves.Woman with those attributes along with other good straits will never allow a man to convince them into living home.

It is a bad idea as it is fornication and children are illigitamate.

Bad bad idea.
Never, ever shack up with anybody

yes because living together gets you use to each others ways and it can determine if he/shes the one for you

not good idea, i don't like before marriage living together

It's a good idea so you get to know the persons lifestyle before your committed to them

YES YES. As long as you are both older than 22, mature and have a stable income (no stay at home mom type crap), and provided that you have been dating for a year or two... or three, and intend on getting married. I don't care how long you've been dating, you don't know a person until you live with them. Wouldn't it suck to get married and you cant stand their morning routine, etc?

Yes, I think it is a good idea so you can see what it is like to live with that person, and if you get irritated with them, then it isn't the right choice to marry them. :-)

TBH, I think this is down to the two individuals the relationship involves. I've actually heard that couples that co habit before marriage, don't usually last very long. I don't think anybody aims for that when they get into it.
However, some people don't need a ring. I think it also depends on culture. Western, it's usually you own my stuff, I own yours, unless we end up divorced, I'll take half. It involves trust.
Other cultures see it as spiritual, sacrifice (of a child, etc.) Just depends on your views.
I don't feel the need to be marriaged, but if I brought a man I've been with for over 4 years to my parent's (cultural) house, I would be getting lectures.
There's more to it though

I think its a good idea because you can see what it's like living with that person

It doesn't really matter, but I am more leaning to yes a little more than no because you need to know them and pick up on their behavior, how they act, and during this time, you can try to gain a bit more relationship with them. And if they are good, you will have more of an answer, and if they are not, you will already know. Because it will be horrible like when you get married and you live with them, and they treat you bad, you would wish not to ever even lived with them. So at least you will have a little clue before you get married.

What an interesting question, and I think that every couple should consider the pros and cons and discuss this topic together if they are getting seriously involved in their relationship. I think it depends on the couple.

Personally, I dated my boyfriend for a year until I considered whether it was looking like we were headed for marriage, even though he always had that intention from the beginning. I decided to move in with him because I really felt like it was heading somewhere and I wanted to see what it was like to go to that next step. (It turned out to be wonderful and I looked forward every day to come home to him!) He proposed to me 6 months after I moved in with him, and now we're happily married.

As for the religious part of this that people tend to bring up, I never did find one word or paragraph in the Bible where it says that you cannot live with someone before marriage. It didn't even say that you can't have sex before marriage. I know it does say that you leave your father and mother's home to your spouse's after you marry, but these are modern times, and I had moved out of my parents' house 15 years prior, so... I really think it's up to the couple, and how serious they are about their future together.

For all the success stories we see, there are actually more
"failures". But that's a good thing, right? I mean, it was a "test",
right? If it didn't work out, then cool- you saved yourself alot of headache.

Not according to USA Today. The study reveals several interesting points.

For instance, of the couples who live together first, the eventually marriage
success rate is approximately 18 percent. That's shocking. What it says
is that you have a shockingly less chance of an eventual marriage working out.

They went on to speculate that "living together" is a strong recipe for short-term
relationships, not long-term.

But how about all the success stories we all know about? They live together 6 or 7 years and now have been successfully married for several additional years.

The problem lies in the math. The couples that married can actually be seen- and counted. The couples that didn't succeed can not be seen, hence no visible comparisons. We only "see" the ones that still exist. Yet, as the old axiom goes, "what you don't see can hurt you."

For most, the promise of cohabition actually acts as an incentive NOT to get married. Or as my sister explained to me in plain English- "Why buy the milk when you already have the cow?" Great point.

She added "if living together before marriage is a true positive, then why do the same people, stastically, also have more affairs? Its because they believe its
okay to have sex before marriage. If you live with one person before marriage, you'll do it again.

If you believe in Jesus or God and hell,,then it's not a good idea.

well i think u should because u will know him better
but u might be in his way so his things
so it is an 50/50

what do you mean "depicted" ? -- in Poll Surveys ?

I think it is a good idea because at least, you will be able to figure out if you will be compatible living together. If you find out after you are married that you are not good at living together, divorce can be costly.

Good idea because I want to know what I'm in for before the marriage.

Like most things, and especially things relating to relationships, it depends. You might expect that it would offer a chance to find out "how compatible" you are, but that's a dangerous game to play - that's what the Honeymoon Period is designed to address: the shock of finding out just how different the real person you married is, from the romanticised ideal you thought you were dating. By the time reality gradually sets in, you've had a chance to come to terms with it during the "grab-and-go" initial period of living together, and then getting a divorce is such a pain, it's often easier to find ways to deal with it. Living together before marriage bypasses the honeymoon phase for many of us, since we're still living our regular lives, and then there's no divorce to act as an incentive to hold on and see if it can be worked out - so it's only too easy to leave in a snit, a tiff or even high dudgeon over things that are relatively minor. On the other hand, the other effect of the honeymoon period (that being pregnancy) can also come into play. Still, it's not necessarily a bad idea for many of us; some couples find out their tolerance limits only when living together, and it's probably better to do that before the marriage than afterwards. It's also pretty useful for exposing some of the more critical "incompatibilities", especially with regard to sex. That's one of the most powerful forces in a relationship - ranking right up there with money; if it's good and stays good, almost anything else can be tolerated. If it's not good, everything else better be pretty amazing.
Still, overall, I'd go with "generally not a good idea", but with the understanding that every couple is a unique combination, and it's hard to learn if you don't make mistakes.

Because it would save people getting married before really knowing what their prospective husband
/wife was like.

After marrying, you might discover one of the couple had a gambling, drink or drug habit or was in debt up to their eyeballs, which they never mentioned or had any outgoing signs of having.

One of the parties might be a psycho and living under the same roof might make them worse or they could be control freaks. All of this you would not know easily if living in the same place and being constantly with each other.

If it turns out you made a 'mistake', splitting up might be easier if unmarried.The partner with the 'problem' could sue for maintenance (say for a debt) for example.Even if the other half is not liable, they would be hoping for an 'out of court settlement' to avoid long legal wrangles.

You should live together before marriage because you don't really know a person before you spend a few days with them. you will get to know their ups and there downs, you need to know who they are and what they are really like, and you need to get used to there downs. when you see someone, they will show there best side to you, so you only really know them when you have seen there true colours. It is a good idea because you get to know them better and you can really appreciate them

The law of life is to get married first and then live together, but imagine, the world has changed. People have changed as time has passed.

I think it's a good idea because it lets a couple kind of "try-before-they-buy" e.g. they get used to living with each other and getting to know their home comforts etc.
Ultimately it lets the couple know what they're in for if they do eventually tie the knot. :)

It's the best idea! It helps a lot the relationship!

yes

Personally I think living together before marriage is the best ideal .....even though I am a catholic and it goes against my religion I couldn't be happier that I did . I was with my ex for five years before I lived with him when we moved in with each other after another year and a half we realized that our life styles and ways of living were so different, so much so that we couldn't live with each other . Could you imagine waiting tell after you are married to move in together and only realizing this after your married ...... I am with my new partner we moved in with each other 7 months into our relationship we felt it was risky but we took the leap , 3 years latter we still live together and are talking about marriage in the next few years. Yes we still have our differences, as does every relationship but they are manageable

As for the exchange of key rings ......Honestly , talk to you partner only they will be able to tell you how they feel ......I my self could care less about the ring but my partner and I actually sat down and talked about it together ...even picked out a ring style on line together . Yes I know its not romantic but ...you don't need to say where and when the proposal will happen ....could be tomorrow could be in two years but the point is you would like an opinion . A healthy relationship should be able to discuss anything together .
Good luck hope i help at least a tad bit .

I guess it depends on how long you want to remain committed one person.

If you want a lifelong partner, someone you'll be with for 40, 50, or more years, then IMHO, wait until marriage before any "serious" behavior takes place. From what I've read, and it makes sense to me, if you don't wait, the odds are that you'll break up before five or ten years are up.

It's hard enough when people wait, and there's no guarantee that things will work out if you do everything "correctly." If you *don't* take the trouble to wait until marriage, in my humble opinion, the "magic" is likely to be gone BEFORE commitments have taken even place, so you've already got one strike against you, right out of the blocks. Not good.

We all live together always, so this question has little meaning. But if you mean, have sex together, the answer is NO. Intimacy is limited to a couple who are committed to each other and tied together for life. Marriage is God's idea, not mans. If you do not agree, sorry for you.

Yeah I agree it's a good idea. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years (not long some might say) but we personally feel ready.

It's a good thing as it shows that the couple are ready to take their next steps within a relationship. No one said that engagement had to come before a house. Living together gives you a great idea of what your life will be like if you live with this person for the rest of your life.

It shows maturity and a string bond. Personally, it's a great idea if the couple are mature (mental side). I know a few couples who are of age but are extremely immature within a relationship and wouldn't advise them to do this.

But all in all it depends on the couple, if they want to progress or not. No one said there was rules set for relationships :)

Good luck :)

i think it depends if your renting or buying a house, i think living together before marriage is a good idea as when living with someone all the time you are more yourself rather then being on your best behaviour when you are with them. i want to know that i can stand to live with someone when i commit to them you'll be surprised how a relationship can change when you both have to share the house work and expenses.

but if you move in together it should only be if you are considering spending your life with this person because if you are doing it just to see where the relationship goes then maybe you're not ready.

my partner and i (i was 25 he was 30) moved in together first but i found out i was pregnant just days before we collected the keys (i would have preferred to have been married before children but things happen), we are getting married next month and i must say i've never been happier. neither of us had ever moved in with a partner before, it has to be with the right person.

If you are buying a place i think you should be married first you should only buy a place with someone if they are the One, if they are then the couple should marry.

Sometimes yes and no.

I think it is a very good idea. Spending time with the person you are going to marry will be very good quality time between each other.

Yes it would be great to know him,
But there are some cases like Indian tradition who marry and love their partner, Depends on the case study

In India, it is not a good idea at all even in so-called progressive and educated society. It has not got social sanction nor there is any security provision in our law for the partners in case of estrangement.

do whatever you want till it doesn't hurt your parents or family.

You have to 'try before you buy'. You wouldn't buy a pig in a poke, would you?

Both. But i'm mostly focused on the "no". If the couples accept each other to live together. Guys/girls will have some sexual appeal and their love will grow. They will also feel like they need to have things or do stuff they shouldn't because of no limitations for them to live together. Most people cannot wait especially when they have a strong urge and then have a baby which the bio father/mother can't accept. It finally leads to abortion,unprepared or unhappy family. Since you are not ready for things and it unexpectedly came up. Families will blame each other. Protection can't always help you know, there are people who use stuff and the pregnant is not prevented.

Key rings?!
Pertaining almost rigidly to the material aspect of that person's life rather than symbolising giving themselves spiritually, one feels 'fobbed off'...

I get that it's like saying 'What's mine is yours', but it isn't actually that, for this would be the exchange of the whole bunch of keys and the responsibilities that come with it, so again it's just symbolic like an engagement ring, but vaporously thin at that.

Living together before marriage is an observation of being under the same roof with someone in the routine that society deems practised best in a marital relationship. If 'tying the knot' ceremoniously with the sacred bond of marriage, & the ongoing meaning it imbues in the partnership, loses significance to symbolic gestures, one would positively say we live in more trusting & loving times - and not having to ask if this is the case is a testament to that.

Let me tell it like it is:

Relationship during:

6 months- Lots of sex
1year- Jealousy and fights, meet the family
1.5 years- Boredom kicks in
2 years- Time to move in together
2.5 years- I hate you
3 years - broke up so many times but still together
3.5 - See you as a family member
4 years sex feels like work
4.5 time for counseling
5 years family member passes
5.5 years finally love you let's get married
6 years pregnant or don't want children please get a job
7 years laziness kicks in sex is horrible
8 years confession I cheated
9 years homosexual phase
10 years I can not believe still together

If you can survive the first ten years than you are extremely lucky, trust me you don't want to grow old and alone... These materialistic things mean nothing compared to your actions...

2

Living With Boyfriend Before Marriage

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Good. You love each other so much you become family!

Live together at females house? If it worked good,then marry!

I think it is beholden on a couple who want to be in a serious relationship (and possibly raise a family) to commit (see how many times I used that word - and I'm a bloke!) to seeing it through - mutual trust is paramount, and nothing says trust like a wedding ring.

(forget whether a ring or a church is involved - you may not appreciate that the Bible prescribes no ceremony and does not distinguish between living together and being 'married')

e two individuals the relationship involves. I've actually heard that couples that co habit before marriage, don't usually last very long. I don't think anybody aims for that when they get into it.
However, some people don't need a ring. I think it also depends on culture. Western, it's usually you own my stuff, I own yours, unless we end up divorced, I'll take half. It involves trust.
Other cultures see it as spiritual, sacrifice (of a child, etc.) Just depends on your views.
I don't feel the need to be marriaged, but if I brought a man

one died from unsuspected and rapidly developing acute leukemia (the nursing staff was kind to me, because I was the only husband who slept on the floor of my wife's hospital room while she was slowly dying); happy to report, the second wife is still going strong.

If you aren't willing to sacrifice everything you have for a genuine "until death do we part" life partner, then you don't deserve the Love he/she offers.
Proverbs: Chapter 31

Been married twice to ladies I hadn't even kissed before proposing to them. Both have been angels. The first one died from unsuspected and rapidly developing acute leukemia (the nursing staff was kind to me, because I was the only husband who slept on the floor of my wife's hospital room while she was slowly dying); happy to report, the second wife is still going strong.

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Many girls break up with their significant others, is because they need time to figure things out. Don't take it personally, if you want her back, you have to show her you can help her. If you love her then you'll let her go, that's it. Not everybody who you date in high school you end up staying with, the chances are extremely unlikely. So if she doesn't want to, then you need to let her go.

Before you move in together, dont you have to know your partner? If you know each other well which qualifys you to move in together, why not get married? Why lose the magic of discovering something new about your spouse?

Ehm..
I couldn't afford marital counseling sessions so I bought some online resources here http://www.downloadita.it/r/rd.asp?gid=417. They really helped.
I hope it helps

Marriage is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life, and only 12.% of all married couples end up staying together and being happy. And this takes 15-20 years to figure out. When it happens, it is the best thing in the world though.

Or, after being comfortable living together and staying in the relationship for a few years, you think the next logical step is marriage, so you settle for less and marry the poor idiot that happens to be in your life at that moment. plus your biological clock is ticking.

i found out that my husband has been cheating on me (online) for more than a month, just last week when i got no internet at home. i am in the Philippines and he’s in uk. i know we’re so apart but is it not enough reason to cheat? he was flirting and doing stuff with girls online. he deleted all the things i could see and he didn't intend to tell me about it but i still found it out. when i asked him to confess, he said he’s not cheating. then he admitted some things but not everything so it wouldn't make it more worse. he’s the kind of guy who will never admit a thing till he’s cornered with proofs. i was 7 months pregnant and i'm worried about my baby. i cant help but to think all the time about what my lover is doing to me. i never thought he’d do that coz i know he loves me so much. but why would he flirt and cheat on me and do stuff with girls on cam? one morning he called me and told me that the relationship is over and that he don't need me anymore i felt so hurt and betrayed so i had information about this spell caster [email protected], about his glorious spell to people and how he use to bring lovers back, but at first i felt unconcerned because i hardly go for such things and i thought his work has a side effect, but when i gave him a chance to cast a spell for me because i was very in need on how to get my lover back, to my surprise his spell worked for me very fine and fast, my man started loving me again and came back to me from uk.

Its best that you don't move in with the person before marriage. Its more involved and plus it takes a lot more than just wanting to sleep together. Moving in before your married, is a big step and a lot of responsibilities comes with it. You have know yourself what your getting into before things get to far. Say for example that you move in with your boyfriend next month and you already have the apartment and everything..then something happens between you two and he leaves...then what? If he's not helping you or doing anything that's beneficial for the both of you, then don't move in. Its ok to be curious to get a sample of what it could be if you actually lived together.. but my best bet would say wait until your married to that person. You have a much better chance and plus you wouldn't have to worry about breaking up. Moving in before saying " I Do" your just asking for future divorce.

It truly depends on your relationship and lifestyle. I have lived with my bf for several years and we plan on being married soon. For us it has indeed been challenging but also exciting and fulfilling. We honor and respect each other as if we were married. We work, love and live together interdependently instead of independently. It actually would be pretty difficult for either of us to leave. Marriage isn't a guarantee that things will work out or that your partner wont stray. A marriage contract looks like a prison sentence and getting out will take a lot of money. I still believe in marriage because i dont believe in divorce.

Yes because you can see how they are at all time and their bad sides.

2013 it is....most don't want to give there independence. that's the real reason.

It's a brilliant idea. It's better to know the other persons habits, annoying or endearing, before it causes any sort of strain right at the beginning of a marriage.

Im torn.. if you re going to do it.. In a relationship there should be a solid commitment.. Marriage is about a commitment. .but on the other hand.. its a fallback so if it doesnt work out.. You dont have to pay for a divorce and the headaches of being in a financial quagmire..
So how commited are you when you move in together and are you willing to play house while waiting it out or for rental convenience?

Yes because its really fun and you get to know the person alot better.

you shouldn't because you should be each others for ever then you should live together

Actually, I think living together can have a significant advantage for couples contemplating marriage. What you must consider, is that a cohabitation arrangement will not always identify ALL issues of concern.

I have been married twice, and twice divorced. My first wife and I lived together for about a year before getting married, and for the most part, she was loyal and devoted. Apparently, she started dating a co-worker (clandestinely) a few weeks prior to taking our vows, and continued the dating through-out our brief marriage. She left me for him just prior to our second anniversary. I extended trust, but she had proven herself unworthy of the trust. We had known each other about 2-3 years prior to our neptuals from our membership in the same service organization. In this instance, co-habitation did not identify the weakness in our relationship.

In my second marriage, the marriage started to go south after about a year and a half of marital bliss, but started to fall apart at the time I was critically injured in a severe motor vehicle accident. In this instance, the accident and the resultant recovery period brought out her mental illness, which normal co-habitation did not seem to trigger. This marriage ended not because I became permanently disabled, but because she became abusive. We had known each other for about two years before tying the knot.

Granted, in my situation, the marriages failed because of other than normal circumstances. However, the time together can allow you to get to know your spouse much better, and gives you a better chance of identifying your level of compatibility and identify and address "pet peeves" prior to the need for divorce.

Divorce is not cheap. My first divorce cost about $6,000 and I was fortunate to not have to pay alimony. My second divorce was more expensive, particularly since there were children. Because of the domestic violence that I suffered through (remember, I was abused), I had to hire lawyers to "rescue" my children from the State after they were taken because of the abuse and domestic violence in the home. [The State was preparing to place the children up for adoption, in compliance with Federal guidelines.] That cost me close to $20,000 and placed me in bankruptcy. When I could finally afford a divorce, that cost me about $3,000 plus I had to pay my abuser alimony for 3 years. Ending this marriage and saving my children has cost me close to $30,000 that could have been spent better for the best interest of the children.

Would co-habitation have prevented either of my divorces? I doubt it very much. However, it would have given me a greater chance to identify our compatibility, if the appropriate "triggering" conditions were present. Honestly, I would encourage co-habitation (despite the immorality) until the couple is about to bear children, and then marriage provides a higher degree of legal security for the children. Remember, children have no say in the success or failure of a marriage, but they are the victims when a marriage fails. It is better to "live in sin" for a few years and identify your compatibility, rather than jump into a civil marriage and then find you are not compatible, and cost you thousands. I am not trying to be biased, but when marital and child related issues find their way into family court, the man is not as on an "equal footing" as the woman. Fiscally, co-habitation has its merits!

maybe because you can know him or her better you can be sure if you love him or her or not do you want to live with him but some people think its not a good idea because maybe you will have a baby before marriage

Nope. Just cause.

I think it's great!
It'll honestly let you know if you can actually live with that person day in and out. Sometimes it can make or break the relationship but rather know sooner than later, hopefully it all works out !

Yes, so you can see if living together will work.

Good idea as you get to experience what it would be like to live with them when married

bad idea

I would recommend a long engagement and then marriage. Going away together for weekends will give a taste of better things to come rather than living together where after the thrill is gone so is the relationship.

as much as i hate to admit it familiarity breeds contempt

over time you and of course your partner will end up treating each other differently

you start to see what a slob your partner can be if that is their nature

in time you will see all the little flaws we try to hide at the beginning of a relationship to present ourselves in better light

if you can live with those flaws fine get married

if you can't live with those flaws you get to opt out with no penalties financial or otherwise

even more important than living together in my humble opinion

is living alone in our own household whether it be house apartment whatever for a period before considering living with another person

after doing everything related to the household for a year or more
we tend to appreciate a partner who is willing to share that load a lot more than if we go from living with ma and pa to living with a partner

it is unbelievable how much we take for granted the amenities provided in our parents home

if we apply that to our new home with a new partner it often leads to resentment

that is entirely up to you

It isn't, because if you can't control your lust for one another, then you will be defying God's law. It is an act of fornication.

It is a bad idea. There will be no charm left between male and female. It is a social crime.

Whatever turns you on. If it's a good idea for you, then it's a good idea. Either way, it can work, or it can fail. Neither guarantees success.

That's a very good idea,especially if you don't have hurry for kids.

It´s a lot better than living together after marriage.

Certainly a good idea if it cuts down on the number of divorces, especially after there are children through the relationship.

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Yes, because knowing how it will be to live with each other in the future as a couple is a big step. I suppose if your partner had an annoying habit like forgetting to flush the toilet or something, you would at least have the chance to know things you might not like about your partner before getting married.

It's most definitely a good idea!
You want to know what your getting into before you tie the knot.
Just don't go to overboard.
Don't buy new furniture. Just use your old ones.
And make sure your stuff is split equally because if the relationship doesn't work, battling for your stuff will be hard.

Living together is really bad idea. After a certain period people lost their interest. In this situation girl will suffer most problem. Moreover if the they got child it will be big issue.

Yes, of course how else do you truly know you want to live with him/her. She/he could be horrible in their own home and if you find that out after you get married then you have to go through a messy and long divorce, with the possibility of kids. Be smart and move in with him/her BEFORE you get married.

It's not a good idea, because you might get into a violent fight, and chances are... your wife will possibly divorce you.

I think this is a good and more realistic approach to furthering a relationship. Would'nt you rather live with a person and test your relationship with someone rather than commiting your 'whole life' to someone that you are not compatible with? Exactly.

It doesn't matter either way.Love cannot see a ring or license.

Thanks for the offer but I don't even know you.

If you are religious then it may not be, but if you don't have religious reasons it may be better. Then you can see what people are like at home, you don't marry them, find out they're impossible to put up with then divorce them expensively.

I feel that it is good to experience the clash of comfort zones before the big day.
Rather sooner, than later. A marriage isn't supposed to be a reversion.

no,
living together before marrige lowers your status and respect among family members and friends

It is not good because people might not really know how the people really are until they move in together, then they really get a good taste of how they truely are

Try before you buy. If you can hold a conversation with your significant as they take a dump, it's love baby

Yes it better to know what it going to be like

not i don't agree with that...whats the point in reaping the benefits of a marriage life if you're not married?

Yes it is a good idea because then the couple will know exactly what they're dealing with before agreeing to get married. They will have an idea of what their lives will look like once they actually do get married. Exchanging key rings is a good idea because its symbolic and not as expensive as buying a ring.

it depends rather you and your partner have a understanding of eachother and rather yal see eye to eye and rather yal can get along being in the same house together....alot of people dont get along due to failure of not acknowledging their mistakes and fixing them...join for $25 we are exploding worldwide http://ultimatecycler.com/ref/emaculate1

I believe that it is a good idea to live together first before getting married. That way you can see the real person of how they are and not of how they might make you think that they are. It's much easier kicking someone out of a house then getting a divorce

definitely... so you are aware of the other persons` not so obvious habits before you get married and live together

who knows if this answer is gonna get read, but I say do what ever 'step' you feel ready for.

I didn't live with my husband before we got married. And perhaps we might not still be together if we were NOT married. However some days I sadly wonder if staying together simply because we're married is the right thing.

There are many things that can be resolved before you get married, by living together first, but my guess is you'll either stay together or you won't regardless.

no, its never works

i dont think is a good idea becuse bafore marriage is uncomfortable to live because if u do sex u may get baby and if u do sex after marriage it will be alright

Good idea

Different things work for different people but I would say no. I know it sounds cliche' but why go out and buy the milk when you have the cow in the backyard?

I think it's important to get used to each others hidden habits and living together. Sometimes people get married and realize their spouse is a total slob and they had no idea. I don't think you necessarily have to live together before getting married but I think it's helpful to stay over night a few times before marrying.

My belief is;

It depends on the people.

No-one can discuss or make a final decision for anyone, but those two people..

If it seems like it would work out go far it
If it doesn't no

If you are religious ...probably not a good idea.

Yes. It helps to know if you're truly compatible before tying the knot.

Yes it's actually a good idea if you're planning to live together AFTER your marriage. If you live with the person before marriage your will find out that you can either stand them and can't stand them. It might conflict with your marriage.

Yeah but if I goes wrong. Id get a written agreement this could be reheaded if you get married
Happy loving

A good idea then you can see the real person for who they are buy living with them before making and large commitments

I'm a realist so I'm going to say that, yes, it is a good idea to live with someone before getting married if you want to.

Not all relationships work out, that's just a fact of life, and personally if I ever get married I'd like it to be just once, and I'd like it to really be 'till death do us part'. So thats why I would want to live with someone for a good long while before getting married - so that I get to spend all that time with them and we could find out if we're really suited to each other or not.

For example - I love my best friend to bits, but we could never live together,because we've found out that we don't quite work if we're together 24/7. Inevitably we bicker, or we hurt eachother's feelings at some point and it all ends in tears. And this is someone I've know since I was 4.
Now if I've only been with someone a few years and I've never lived with them, how do I know that we wouldn't get on eachother's nerves, despite how much we might love one another, when we're always together? I don't.
To find out if you really work as a couple I personally think you have to...be a couple. In all senses - live together, share responsibilities, get a pet, have a cooking rota, work out who washes and who dries. All the little and big things you would do if you were married. When you know it works, then you know you're ready to make the lifelong commitment of getting married.

I noticed a couple of people saying that its a bad idea to just live together for legal reasons - one partner can just run off and leave the other paying off a mortgage, or unable to pay rent - thats a valid point. But part of being in a mature relationship is being able to make sensible decisions to prevent that sort of thing - buy the house in both your names (you don't have to be married to do this - anyone can be legal co-owners of property!), draw up a contract about the mortgage or rent payments, talk about wills.
I know some people might say this takes all the romance out of things but we don't live in a romance novel - we live in the real world. In the real world you might meet other people, you might realise you don't feel the same way about one another any more, one of you might get killed in an accident, that's just life. In my opinion, if you're being realistic, its better to live together for a while before you get married.

It is a good idea because you can get a taste of everyday living with the love of your life and you'll understand if it will work out or not.

I think it's a great idea, it allows you to get a good idea of how your significant other acts and lives, you can get used to their habits and ideas, because you'll be around them every day, therefore when the time comes to pop the question you can already have a broad knowledge of their lives and their actions.

depends if you move with just the 2 of u of move into his / her parents. I moved into my now husbands at mum n dads and it was very hard as we still had there house rules to abide by. and we never got to see what it would be like with just the 2 of us. but when we did move out 2 + bump children later the problems started... but we have rode it out and still together almost 5 years after moving out of his parents, its a case if compromise and understanding. so yes I think moving into with one another before marriage can be a good thing as you find out if you are good together, what the other person is like to live with and how to learn to live with each, and how to sort out problems ect..

there are as many opinions as there are couples. no single solution is right for everyone. some people can get along for years as common law and fall apart once a marriage certificate comes into the picture. others can jump into a marriage with a total stranger and make a\ happy life together.

the only formula is mutual respect and cooperation

this is the matter of your understanding between your and your partner and it is good idea.
first you should make your relationship strong.

Yeah, I don't think it's a bad idea at all.

Not really, sure it gives you a 'preview' of how things could be but if you really were committed/ in love with one another surely the next step should be marriage and not living together?

I think it is definitely a good idea. You never really know someone until youve lived with them.

My parents lived together for 10 years before getting married. They are happily married. But no, it's not a good idea. You miss the magic of living the married life for the first time. And statistics show that you are more likely to divorce. Doesn't happen to everyone, but it may.

One has to sleep and live with someone for a while, one could learn a lot about that person before making a commitment. But many cultures, this kind practice would be unacceptable and regarded as a sin and immoral You make the bed and have to sleep in it.

Definitely! I dont understand why more importance is put on living together than marriage. U dont truly know somebody until you have lived with them! I have been with my Fiance for 4 years and lived with him 2. When we get married I know there will be no horrible shocks and it wont be any different to how things are now. Definitely reduces divorce rate if u live with your partner first.

It depends if your partner hides who they are really, or show their true selves. Some people wait until they are married, thinking the binding laws of a marriage will suffice as a trap. It is difficult. If you end up with a angel, then you are lucky, if you end up with a devil, then it will show either way under the one roof, married or not.

I think it is a good idea as couples can get a deeper understanding with each other

I've been living with my boyfriend for 4-5 months, and it's awesome. It also helps you learn more about the person, brings you closer (or further) to them, and if you know you can't handle them living under the same roof as you now, you'll know it won't work out later.

Marriage is for Christian and other religious groups. If you are of that persuasion then you will marry and if you are not, you might think it is a good idea for the sake of the wife who will take the name of any children that may come along and also safeguarding the children's welfare from errant fathers.

I will never address or advise anyone at to the particulars in their situation.
Met my husband at work, Me-bartender, him musician.
Living in his car, sometimes with band mates, sometimes?
Pretty much moved in with me after 2 weeks 'dating'.
Married only after the birth of our daughter almost 3 years later, and family members giving us crap when he decided to move out of state for a job to support us. (family members thought he would leave me and our baby for band mates in other state and never come back = shot gun JOP wedding, sigh, wanted more, even though a big wedding or little one wasn't even on my mind - but...)
We are still married and together after almost 30 years.
I really don't think it's a huge deal unless the other person is totally weird, a giant slob or you are living together for reasons other than making things permanent later. The focus should be on 'forever' and not just living together.

Good idea. You have to test the car before you buy it.

Bad, it's a sin.

Yeah It is a great idea. All the sex and no commitment.

I go back and forth between thinking you should know how someone lives, and how better to do that than by living with them, but then sometimes I think I will never live with someone again. I lived with someone I was engaged to, but he cheated on me and decided he was done with me, changed the locks, kept most of my things and my dog. I mean it was his house we were living in, so it wasn't like I could take any legal action as far as a landlord or anything, but still, I would seriously think it through before you move in with someone.

I'm divorced now... LOL but I'd say yes because until you live together theres no real pressure on the relationship, you might find that you cant stand each other, and obviously thats not a great discory to make once your already married,,,,

Yes, because being together and living together are completely different.

If you live together before marriage and it all goes wrong, you don't need to divorce, you haven't spent stupid amounts of money on marriage and there's no drawn out goodbyes.

If you live together and you get on even better, then you know for sure that the next step is marriage

sometimes it is good it lets you get to know the other person. not all people can live with one another.

I prefer to live with a woman after marriage

bad

because not everyone is good and speak truth, and it creates social problems for others, and its not in religion also

Yes but not too soon, you need to have first known this person for a while to start living together. It's a good idea because then you will know them a lot more before you get married and also it will take all the hassle of finding a house after spending a lot of money on a house just after you've got married which would have also been expensive! Hope this helped.x

I think it's a good idea to really know how they are around each other in the house, the bond becomes stronger and you feel more comfortable being with the other person! Also you may realize that it just won't work which would be better so you don't go into a blind marriage!

I believe it's a good idea, as you can get to know each other better and maybe find out more about yourselves that can be learned only through living together. eg; can you handle spending the majority of your day and nights together? does it feel right? are you enjoying yourselves? is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? it's almost like a trial. it's much easier to do it now then break up if you don't like it, then it is to go through all the divorce papers etc, if you choose to do so after marriage, hope this helps :)

Yes because you can know beforehand their likes/dislikes and their disabilities/illnesses and what things they like the most and what they don't, this can help prevent a bad relationship and can make it easier during their marriage and give a little tweak in the love life (even if it's an arranged marriage) it's just a preview so you can know if your really ready for it or not.

I honestly think it is a good idea. You get to know your significant other better. If you go and get married before having actually seen how the other person lives (are they messy, are they lazy, do they not take responsibility around the house / apartment) there could be some trouble. AND you can commit to a relationship and pretend your married and live together, share bills, and be committed as though your married (heck, you can even wear a ring if you want) and then when your ready financially, go ahead and have your wedding. Or you could stay eternally engaged. =)

I think living together before marriage is a great idea. On a personal not my sister dated a guy once. He seemed like a really nice guy and eventually she moved in with him and lived with him for a year and a half. However she learnt that he wasn't the nice guy he appeared to be. He was an abusive asshole. Can you imagine what it would have been like had she not lived with him and only learnt this after marrying him?

Both yes and no. Living together before completely binding yourself to that person (marriage) is a good thing to see how your future will be. And also to see how this person really is. some people change into a completely different person when living together with their boyfriend/wife or whatever.
However when it comes to the law and being secure. its a bad idea. but when it comes to seeing how your future to be husband will be its a good idea.

and don´t forget that some people never even get married..

but is it a good idea to wait after marriage? Because you want to be safe. then you realize the relationship has turned into a horror movie ever since you moved in together after you married. and now its a big problem for you to get out of the marriage because you didn´t know your spouse would turn that way?
But living together before marriage is a very very good idea. to really get to know each other. however if that person is just going to say "okay i´m gonna sell my house and come live with you" then there will be no trampoline to catch them when their boyfriend/girlfriend kicks them out of their house and this person suddenly has no place to go.then it would be a bad idea.

but if you secure yourself, before jumping into things like this moving in together before getting married is such a good idea that i think no one should get married without moving in together first.

Traditionally, couples would court and then get married and then live with each other. In my opinion though, it is better to live together first because what if you got married and realised you couldn't stand your husband or wife afterwards because they were insufferable to live with? So I think it is a good idea to live together before marriage but it depends on the couple I suppose.

yeah i think its a good idea if i was with someone that i really liked and we though about marrige i would move in with them first so you can get a taste of what it's like plus people change and act differently when your with them more - living together so yeah i think its a good idea.

im not saying your gonna see their new colours and there gonna be bad because you can move in with each other and could be the best thing you done in your live, but it's always better to test things first than rush into marriage that wasn't right then get a divorse.

yes because you get a good idea of what your getting into before you get married

Marriage in general is a procedure that is unnecessary. People do not need priests to tell them that they are together.

Yes. Like buying into anything " Marriage" Should be try before you buy.

The divorce rate is shocking.

it depends how in a house. if you mean in different rooms then yes very good idea, but same room same bed? no, defiantly, things will get complicated
in my opinion, they should live in the same house but different rooms, cuz no one is perfect and people dislike imperfectness, so if there was time to breath, and always show the good side then the marriage is gonna last. remember, they will be seeing each other very often even they are in different rooms.
to me, i think marriage should not be a sign/prof of love but a thing that tells the partner that they will always try to love them, (cuz sometimes, ppl get angry and stuff)

yes, divorce is harder to get out of compared to just living together. Would advise renting rather than buying a house together again, its easier to get out of and not expensive repercussions.

its your choice

It's good way to know eachother. From morning to night the should live togeather and share their views, mentalities, likes,dislikes and next of feature. When we come to sex, male wil be if he reject the wouldbe. Female suffers a lot mentaly and physcialy if she moves to another male.

good idea. cos' if u start living together u can work out if u actually could get married or you can't stand esch others presence non-stop for over 12 hours without having to throw yourself in a ditch or something

Mmm.. It really depends on the couples, Each couple are two completely different people, If you read the responses of that article, You may notice how some people say they have done the same before but has little affect while others are different.. It's unpredictable.

Knowing about each other is a very good idea between each other,but it is not good to live together,as there may be a chance of getting clashes.
There are many other ways to know each other,to love,care to know others likes,dislikes and all.

We were talking about this in class the other day - and I think it is. This way, you'll see what it will be like living with your partner without making any massive commitments. If it doesn't seem to be working, you can go your separate ways. However, if you get married before living together then discover after the wedding that it doesn't work, it's harder to sort out.

I think living with someone before you pledge the rest of you're life to the person is a very very good idea, Thats why 18 years ago me and my wife moved in together and decided to wait a few years before taking the next move to marriage.
And we have never looked back we both got a feel for the other ones habits etc and found them cute rather than irritating lol so we decided to get married fifteen years ago and we have been blissfully happy ever since.

With my first marriage, I did not live with him before. I didn't have a problem adjusting to it, but I think he did, especially once I got a job and was no longer home 24/7. So he left.
So after a few years, I dated someone for a year and a half when we decided we were pretty good together and to live together. We decided that since we'd each been on our own for a while, we could see how we were compatible living together in his small home while we saved up for buying a new home if things worked out. After a year of living together, we got engaged and found a larger home to share. We got married about a year after that, so we'd been together about 4 years at that point. However, his dad didn't like the fact that we (I) could handle the home repairs myself without calling him (he's not qualified and does a really crappy job with his own house). He got mad and screamed at me one time in front of the whole family (husband let him do it without standing up for me or telling him to back off. It was then I realized I was no longer a priority in my spouse's life, and that hurt.

Moral of the story - sometimes it's a good idea and sometimes it isn't. I don't think I'll live with someone before getting married again, but it wholly depends on the individuals involved and the stage you are in your life, meaning right out of college or has been established for a few years on your own.

It's different for everyone. My parents lived together before they got married and they are still together after 34+ years. I know other people who didn't live together before they got married and they're still together also.

With all that said - it is an important step in any relationship when this subject is brought to the table. Respect what you and your partner wants and don't force it if it doesn't feel right at first.

Yes. Because then you can see how they really are, instead of when their first all lovey dovey.
When your first going out, even after a couple of months are years. Some people will still not show their true colors. You need to know those things about them. Especially habits. If their not willing to change things for you, and your not willing to compromise things either, then it's a no go. I found one almost perfect person, me and my friends and cousins were playing "who would be the best guy" giving "perfect traits" and the closest one that matched everything, was my cousin..... I totally wanted to be unrelated.

A lot of marriages I know, especially young love, their are so many flaws, and the common reason is they didn't live together first. And they only reason they haven't separated is because it costs too much. ( or the guy gives up on life)

In my view living together before marriage is a good idea. Living together makes both boy and girl know each other. They can share there views or ideas with each other in order to make relationship stronger. If they are not close enough its hard to know others feeling.

Unless your belief system prohibits it, Its not a bad idea. Butt remember the other person can walk away, at any time(OWING YOU MONEY IE LOANS, RENT,ECT.). Butt then with divorce rates, marriage doesn't seem to really make a huge difference. Other than that you could end up paying alimony, and an attorney which will be more expensive.

definitely as you never know somebody really until you live with them everybody has bad habits best to find out what they are first an see if you can live or forgive them

Yes it is... you get to know the person's flaws, and then you can decide if you can handle those flaws or not.

according to scripture if you have been with someone, you are married, if you find a female in the field and lay with her that has not been with someone, and not given to any one you take her into your house and she is your wife, Deuteronomy 22[28-29]

I think it's a good idea because it allows you to truly see what your partner is like at home. You get to know their private selves, the one the public doesn't see. You gain their trust more and you become more involved in their everyday life.

Yes just to get used to it

net practice always necessary before a match

yes it's a good preview of the road you'll be headed down. but i would have papers drawn that you are not legally intitled to any thing more than what you came in with an half of what is obtained together. agree that neither party acknowledge this time together as a common law marriage. or a promise to get engaged or lawfully marry each other. cover your butt people an don't get pregnant.

You should treat with rode behave it he replies with love then consider he/she loves you.

I think that's one of the steps in really getting to know a person. There's spending time with them, partaking in activities together, trying new things, sex, moving in together, and meeting their family. There are lots of others, but those seem like the main ones to me.

I dont think its that bad, as long as you don't go to far with it. If you do it for too long without getting married its bad

yes ,i think who can you make strong feeling in your relationship without touching each other or kissing ,i think after true love physical relation can make a love strong as chain that hold each other and supporting each other have natural benefit

Sure, its Absolutely fine, its like having a roommate living with you, for EX; Wizard of Waverly Place, Since Harper was expected to move away with her parents, instead she get to move in with her best friends. Its okay for two people to see if they live with each other even when dating, married, or neither.

Living together gives you the chance to see a side of a person you'd never normally. All of their quirks, habits (good or bad) and traits become blaringly obvious (and so do yours as far as they're concerned). I'd say it's possible for couples to overcome this but it seems to happen very rarely.


Many couples live together while they try to save up for a wedding, although if anything's going to go wrong, that's always when it'll happen...

I believe it is a good idea, because when people are at home, they tend to change as a person. For example someone who made an effort with date nights, may stop taking you on them because you're together all the time anyway. Also if they used to take you out for meals, at the time you would think aww that's so sweet, but when living with them it could turn out that they can't cook and it is all left down to you. I don't believe you could truly know someone until you reach the stage of living with someone. You may also notice habits that may annoy you and also get second doubts.

i believe it is. couples can see what its like to live with that person and determine if thats what they want before marriage. dont want to rush into things.

Just do whatever you want I mean , I don't think ranting about how good or bad the idea is would really change anything because people live together before marriage all the time! I say do what makes you happy and who gives a sh*t what anyone else says.

Honestly, in this day and age, marriage is an outdated idea. Less and less of them actually last, as people see an easy (in fact, eager) way out if they aren't completely happy anymore. I really think the whole gay marriage thing is being pushed by greedy divorce lawyers.
It's no longer a social stigma to "live in sin", so marriage just puts unnecessary pressure on the relationship, and gets you targeted for advertising by unscrupulous lawyer types who really, really don't like to hear about marriages working.

I think its a good idea... my mum and dad lived together for 15 years before getting married, so far theyve been married for 20, not once have i seen them argue or fall out.

as for me, i would just be living with my boyfriend and thats it... i dont see the point of paying good money for a piece of paper... anyway i have commitment issues, marriage is too scary... :(

oh and @JL4F only your relationship is like that lol.

also looking at the thumbs up and thumbs down, almost everyone has more thumbs down than up, people that think its bad and people that think its good... people dont seem to like either

Wouldn't buy a car without taking it for a long test drive .

well it depends upon the lifestyle and upbringing of the couple, for example if it is a conservative mindset that they have then the marriage itself is a beautiful ceremony to symbolise that they will now be living together, hence the exchanging of rings, but i can see why a couple would live together before as marriage can be seen as just a "piece of paper" and a couple should be able to live together before marriage as it wont make a difference because of this exact concept.

i like what you are doing moving in together. i mean it depends how long you have been together. but if you guys decided this together its a lot better because you don't want to scare the other person into moving in and then your other person wouldn't even want to be with you. i say when it comes to love you follow your hear and it is all about passion, love, listening,and communication. so you do what you think is good

no because they will be really stuck together and their kids wont get any time with them

I would say it is a matter of opinion although studies have shown that people who live together for an extended period generally have a higher divorce rate than people who do not live together. People living together are often more forgiving of faults in their significant other than they would be in a wife or husband. Why, because there is an easier out than there is if you are married. When people know they can leave a relationship without the hassle of divorce it is easier to overlook annoyances.

Is living together the next step in a relationship these days? For a number of people I know it seems to be the first step in the relationship, they meet and a few days later they are living together. This may be one reason why marriages after living together do not work, the people did not know each other well enough to begin with. I agree with the one statement that for any relationship to work both people must know each other and they should be financially and emotionally independent (although not to the extreme like a friend of mine who has been in at least 3 common-law relationships that have ended, they are simply too independent to want to give up any control of their lives).

Just speaking to the religious aspect of it, I personally do not find the idea of living together violates my Christian beliefs. I am an elder in my church and we have had many members over the years in common-law relationships. Some have ended up married, some have not but we have never had any problems with accepting them.