It's very normal to have these feelings, you're not alone and there's nothing wrong with you, but you do need help. It's great you're reaching out!
Since this forum can't give you the help you need, confide in someone. Now, not later. Here's another place to get help:
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
"No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7."