麻煩幫幫手睇下封求職信，俾D意見

Dear HR Manager,

I would like to apply for the position of Sales Assistant which you advertised in the CTgoodjobs.hk website of June 7th.

I have more than seven years experiences in the retail sales industry. For the last four years, I have been working at xxxxxxxx as a Senior Sales position (you should specify the exact name of the position). I have a strong command of communication skills as well as customer service skills. I believe that the combination of my experiences and my outgoing personality will become an asset to your company.
Enclosed please find my resume for your reference. I hope I can be granted for an interview, so I can explain my qualifications more thoroughly. Should you have further questions, please feel free to contact me at XXXX-XXXX. Thank you.

Yours sincerely,XXX

2013-06-19 04:09:17 補充：
I think you should describe briefly about your academic background (like what kind of degree you possess) before going on elucidating your working experiences.

Answeer 001 has made some very good points but take note to the following:
in the website --> on the website
of June 7 --> on June 7
as a senior sales position --> at a senior sales position
I can be granted --> I would be granted

2013-06-20 14:10:36 補充：
最後部份，用你原本的句子較好
If you (find) my qualification might be suitable for this position, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Thanks you very much for your (consideration). I look forward to ...