Why is the military trialed differently than than civilians?

Because there are a lot of things "illegal" in the military that aren't illegal in the civilian world...

As long as Joe Civilian gets tried for telling his boss to go f*ck himself (contempt of superiors), failing to show up to work (AWOL) and jumping off a boat (hazarding a vessel)....etc, etc...all things which are illegal in the military...we will combine the two legal systems

I don't think most civilians would appreciate being tried for some of the same things as the military is held accountable for

The military falls under the Uniformed Code of Military Justice. When you agree to serve in the military, you also are signing away certain rights and place yourself under the jurisdiction of military authority. In certain instances, military can be tried under civilian authority, such as when the crime they are accused of occurs outside the limits of military jurisdiction. Even if a service member is tried under civilian authority, they can still be held accountable under UCMJ and tried for the same crime, under the same or different charges. UCMJ is a different set of laws that are applied to the military, so as to provide a means for the military, as an institution, to maintain good order and discipline within its ranks. Some of the rights that we are guaranteed as citizens are suspended while we fall under UCMJ. This is why service members have to be careful of statements they make on Social Media sites or when they choose to support certain groups or causes.
Even though some states may legalize certain things, it is still illegal for the military to partake or make use of the same thing.

The military has it's own set of rules and standards. As a member of any professional military you are subject to those rules and regulations/standards.

Hence in the case of the US, the Uniformed Code of Military Justice (UCMJ).

No you aren't the same by the law. A civilian doesn't fall under the UCMJ, military members do.

Nor should civilians and military members have the same standard. Some civilians can't even adhere to civilian law.

Lawyers have turned the civilian system into a prolonged joke. The military needs to get things over fast and with a definite end. Unfortunately things like the Ft Hood shooting are getting more and more like civilian trials. (Probably due to the fact the guy is a Muslim and Obama did not want it to come to trial before the election.)