我跟我男友一齊差唔多三年
我地一般都相處得幾好 啱傾、相同興趣、外形都很夾（從朋友口中得知）
但係有樣野我真係相處幾年黎都handle得唔好
就係當佢唔開心既時候 我唔識處理
佢不嬲都係一個好緊張成績既人
以前一齊讀書係咁，而家出黎做野都係
我明白男仔有事業心有上進心係好既 亦知道佢努力係為左改善家庭環境
但係有時我覺得被佢忽略了 而且當佢係學業上/工作上遇到挫折既時候更為明顯
可能我係獨生女 習慣享有家人最多既關注 所以不習慣被忽略啦 我自己係一個需要人很多關心既女仔
佢唔開心既時候 語氣好倔 好冷漠
我試過好多方法 細個啲唔識諗既時候 就連我都發埋脾氣一份 搞到佢要氹返我轉頭
我試過打電話俾佢關心 但係佢唔肯講點解唔開心 甚至唔認（但係佢唔開心係好明顯睇到）我很傷心佢在我面前都唔認自己唔開心
然後大個左 開始用啲溫和既方法 避免正面衝突
例如拍拍佢膊頭 主動"橋"住佢隻手 攬下佢 微笑等
但係都無用 佢始終都係無動於衷 笑都無笑 一聲不響
send whatsapp俾啲鼓勵佢 佢都係睇到唔覆
佢話過想女朋友係佢唔開心既時候 唔需要問佢咁多野 只要開心活潑咁同佢傾下平時既野 又或約佢出去玩咁 佢已經覺得係一種關心
我都有試過呢個 我用很活潑的聲音同佢講輕鬆開心既野 但係佢仍然係答單字、答得好冷淡好倔強既時候 我呢個勉強chok出黎的活潑聲音都瓦解左了
我好想自己有啲用 好想我可以令佢開心返 但係我EQ太低了 次次佢唔開心都會令我唔開心埋 次次我想活潑開朗鼓勵佢最後都被佢既冷漠擊敗
究竟我仲可以點做？究竟係我有問題定佢有問題？
男友情緒低落時應該怎辦
2013-05-22 7:44 am
回答 (2)
2013-05-22 9:34 pm
✔ 最佳答案
其實綜合你的講法，除了他在困擾時只係識用單字表達外，他正常時給你(對他自己和對你要求的看法)的意見都很坦白，只是你仍按你自己的思維方式和感情需要來回應，結果就算表面上(例如活潑的聲音和行動)你以為已經按他的心理回應，但我估計由於他是個自專心強和敏感(感性)的人，會很介意你這種硬繃繃(造出來)的反應。或者建議你按著他的理念-我要你唔好針對要解決我的問題和要我分享(分憂)問題，只係需需你當我係平時的我陪伴著我就好了，設定一些只係你才做的習慣(就如有些女人唔開心會特地去食下午茶...)帶他一起去「經歷」和你一起的化解困難(他的問題仍在-但你們的關係卻親近了)，而不是要他去跟你解說他的問題和由你去關心他解決了未。另外不用太核意扮活潑(因為那不是你本性)，應該你自己也建立一套看世事/困難的方程式，最好是一句口頭蟬：「退一步海闊天空」、「冇嘢可以難到我哋/嘅xx(他的名字)」、「先苦後甜才係人上人」[唔好意思這些可能跟你年代有點脫節-希望你按你們的口號設定一些可以肯定他自信能解決問題但又唔會太明顯說教，而係透過這句說話要讓他感到你真係咁諗...]。
假如在他困擾時你心理上放不要知道他的問題或者係都要他表達才能釋懷，也要等他低落完了才回顧地問他：「當時點諗/諗乜」，千萬要改變你的想法，不要在他仍沉思時要他把想法跟你分享才視為唯一出路。
有時他發愁時，你只要有耐性陪他在公園呆坐兩粒鐘，比你不斷賣弄方法示「愛」(關心)，他會更感到要珍惜你。
願你好好活出快樂，才能陪他好好過活。
2013-05-22 13:37:34 補充：
修正：假如在他困擾時你心理上放下不要知道他的問題...
2013-05-22 12:30 pm
you are such nice girl friend...
Question:
could he have 3rd person?
Opinion:
Option1:
I would suggest break up... make him realize how good you are....
but prepare you might not get him back....
Option2:
because this is a long relationship, i think it gets a bit cold that's all....
try surprise him and change a bit of techniques....
i mean if you kiss him, hold his hand and always hang out with him?
that means you have love him a lot....
Option3:
Do some hobby la... stop think about him, as he don't put you first either...
hang out with friends... get some fresh air....
all the best lor~
Question:
could he have 3rd person?
Opinion:
Option1:
I would suggest break up... make him realize how good you are....
but prepare you might not get him back....
Option2:
because this is a long relationship, i think it gets a bit cold that's all....
try surprise him and change a bit of techniques....
i mean if you kiss him, hold his hand and always hang out with him?
that means you have love him a lot....
Option3:
Do some hobby la... stop think about him, as he don't put you first either...
hang out with friends... get some fresh air....
all the best lor~
收錄日期: 2021-04-11 19:47:33
原文連結 [永久失效]:
https://hk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130521000051KK00400