3. Keep unsolicited advice to yourself. Offer your support, lend your ear, but avoid speaking in an "I know what's best" tone. "We give advice because we're trying to be helpful, but it's seen as criticism when we offer too many corrections," says Harriet Lerner, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up. This goes for everything from your husband's outfit choices to how he deals with a work issue. Give your spouse space to make decisions and gain confidence through trial and error-and ask that he do the same for you, says Dr. Lerner. "What matters in a relationship is not that things get done 'right,' but that two people are dedicated to contributing to each other's happiness."
Related: Discover the 10 things men wish women knew about sex.
4. Don't take charge all the time. Whether you fold all the laundry because you don't like how your husband does it or you manage the finances because you don't think he's as careful, you may feel more at ease doing all the work. But stop! "The spouse who does the rescuing can become tired of that role," says Dr. Wish--and resentful that everything is on her shoulders, even if she volunteered for that burden. Get in the habit of asking your partner, "What do you think works best here?" or telling him, "I could use a hand cleaning out the pantry." These requests will foster the idea that you're teammates.
