揾錯處!! 揾得最多錯處為最佳!!!
適量修飾文筆or用特別grammar structure更佳!!
麻煩各位啦!! >v<
Nowadays, living in the concrete jungles, many people have become insensitive. They are not able and not willing to feel the nature. So, to start our business, we really want to pass the care of our mother earth to people with our products.
Hand washing liquor is for sure a daily necessity of every household. I mean, all of us use it every day. However, most of the brands of hand washing liquor on the market contain artificial chemicals which do cause damages to human body and the environment. So, from the beginning, we wanted to manufacture our own brand of hand washing liquor, which is totally natural, non-toxic, safe and environmentally friendly.
To achieve our objective, we used only natural materials to produce our hand washing liquor. By doing research and experiments, we successfully invented a new type of washing liquor with grass ash, orange peel and sucrose. Since only eco-friendly materials are used, our liquor is definitely harmless to human body and the nature. In fact, the residue left in the process of production can be used for irrigation.
Along with the natural materials we used to make our liquor, what makes our product so unique is the experience of really using it. Not only did we concern about how eco-friendly our liquor is, but also its scent and its cleaning ability. Our hand washing liquor has the fresh, sweet scent of orange, you will notice a big difference compared to artificial scent.
On the other hand, talking about the cleaning ability, the amylases made by sucrose and orange peel could remove starchy dirt efficiently, while the alkali in grass ash could corrode dirt. You could even use it to wash your dishes.
We really hope that the sweet scent of our liquor could bring smile to people living in Hong Kong, that’s why we named our brand “Orange Smile”.
We aim to provide our consumers a fresh/ green experience /when using our hand washing liquor.
!!English Proofreading!!
2013-03-28 5:55 am
回答 (3)
2013-03-28 7:46 pm
✔ 最佳答案
Nowadays, living in the concrete jungles, many people have become insensitive to the environment. … … mother Earth to people with our products. Hand washing liquid [liquor = 酒(飲的) – 用錯字了] is for sure a daily necessity of every household. [][←這句有點多餘] However, most of the brands of hand washing liquid on the market contain artificial chemicals which do cause damages to the human body and the environment. So, since the beginning, we want [雖然好像是以前發生了-但無需用past tense，因為這仍是你們的期望和立場] to manufacture our own brand of hand washing liquid, ….
To achieve our objective, we used only natural materials to produce our hand washing liquid. By [] research and experiments, …. Because[用這字比Since或明確表達] only eco-friendly materials are used, …. In fact, the residue left in the process of production can be used for irrigation[這字通常指灌溉的水，如果residue是固體作肥料應該是fertilization].
Along with the natural materials we used to make our liquid, what makes our product so unique is the experience of [] using it. Not only did we concern about how eco-friendly our liquid is, …. Our hand washing liquid has a fresh[] sweet scent of orange, you will notice a big difference comparing to artificial scent.
[On the other hand意思是「反面」而不是同一樣東西的另一面或延續介紹]Furthermore, talking about the cleaning ability, the amylases made by sucrose and orange peel can[用could是不肯定動詞 – 意思=或者可以] remove starchy dirt effectively[efficient=效率是短時間內完成，effective=功能上有效], while the alkali in grass ash can corroded dirt. You can even use it to wash your dishes.
We really hope that the sweet scent of our liquid [] brings smile to people living in Hong Kong, that’s why we named our brand “Orange Smile”.
We aim to provide our consumers a fresh and green experience []when using our hand washing liquid.
2013-03-29 9:28 am
Nowadays, living in the concrete jungles(delete s--> jungle), many people have become(delete have --> became) insensitive(may add "to our environment"). They are not able and not(delete not, 前面已有一個, and 會將not 的意思加上) willing to feel the nature. So, to start (加with)our business, we really want to pass the care of our mother earth to people with our products. (-->we really want to pass our care to mother Earth through our products.)
Hand washing liquor( 汁，酒精飲料, 藥溶液,通常都係講酒，如果你要普通液體而已的話,用liquid吧 ) is for sure a daily necessity of (錯preposition ->to )every(may add "single") household. I mean, all of us use it every day(here every day--> everyday). However, most of the brands of hand washing liquor on(錯prep-->in) the market contain(錯gram-->containing) artificial chemicals which do cause damages to human body and the environment. So, from the beginning, we wanted(你仍想-->want) to manufacture our own (may add "new")brand of hand washing liquor, which is totally natural, non-toxic, safe and environmentally friendly.
To achieve our objective(+s), we used only(we only use) natural materials (通常係一D較實質的野，may --> 成份ingredients) to produce (有用過product, 與produce係同一字源，可改用"make/ manufacture")our hand washing liquor. By doing research (+es )and experiments, we successfully invented a new type of washing liquor with grass ash, orange peel and sucrose. Since only eco-friendly materials are used, our liquor is definitely (天然物料也可對人體有害，因為植物也有自我防護系統，用definitely會太絕對) harmless to human body and(較多and出現，可以--> as well as) the nature. In fact, the residue left in the process of production(in the production process) can be (+even) used for irrigation(irrigate係liquid--> fertilization施肥).
(續..... 唔夠位)
2013-03-29 01:40:52 補充：
http://www.sendspace.com/file/ikle95
請稍移玉步~ 詳細解釋 =]
Hand washing liquor( 汁，酒精飲料, 藥溶液,通常都係講酒，如果你要普通液體而已的話,用liquid吧 ) is for sure a daily necessity of (錯preposition ->to )every(may add "single") household. I mean, all of us use it every day(here every day--> everyday). However, most of the brands of hand washing liquor on(錯prep-->in) the market contain(錯gram-->containing) artificial chemicals which do cause damages to human body and the environment. So, from the beginning, we wanted(你仍想-->want) to manufacture our own (may add "new")brand of hand washing liquor, which is totally natural, non-toxic, safe and environmentally friendly.
To achieve our objective(+s), we used only(we only use) natural materials (通常係一D較實質的野，may --> 成份ingredients) to produce (有用過product, 與produce係同一字源，可改用"make/ manufacture")our hand washing liquor. By doing research (+es )and experiments, we successfully invented a new type of washing liquor with grass ash, orange peel and sucrose. Since only eco-friendly materials are used, our liquor is definitely (天然物料也可對人體有害，因為植物也有自我防護系統，用definitely會太絕對) harmless to human body and(較多and出現，可以--> as well as) the nature. In fact, the residue left in the process of production(in the production process) can be (+even) used for irrigation(irrigate係liquid--> fertilization施肥).
(續..... 唔夠位)
2013-03-29 01:40:52 補充：
http://www.sendspace.com/file/ikle95
請稍移玉步~ 詳細解釋 =]
參考: /
2013-03-28 6:25 am
Nowadays, we live in the concrete jungles. Many people have become insensitive. They are not able and not willing to feel nature. To start our business, we really want to pass the care of our mother earth to people with our products.
Hand washing liquor is sure for a daily necessity of every household. I mean all of us use it every day. However, most of the brands hand washing liquor on the market contain artificial chemicals. Which cause damages to human body and environment. From the beginning, we wanted to manufacture our own brand of hand washing liquor, which is totally natural, non-toxic, safe and environmentally friendly.
To achieve our objective, we used only natural materials to produce our hand washing liquor. By doing researchs and experiments, we successfully invented a new type of washing liquor with grass ash, orange peel and sucrose. Since only eco-friendly materials are used, our liquor is definitely harmless to human body and nature. In fact, the residue left in process of production can be used for irrigation.
Along with natural materials we used to make our liquor, what makes our product so unique is experiences of really using it. Not only we concerned about how eco-friendly our liquor was but also its scent and cleaning ability. Our hand washing liquors have fresh and sweet scent of orange. You will notice a big difference compared to artificial scent.
On the other hand, we talk about cleaning ability. Amylases were made by sucrose and orange peel could remove starchy dirt efficiently, while alkali in grass ash could corrode dirt. You could even use it to wash your dishes.
We really hope that the sweet scent of our liquor can bring smile to people living in Hong Kong. That’s why we named our brand “Orange Smile”.
Our aim is to provide our consumers a fresh/ green experience /when we use our hand washing liquor.
希望可以幫到你
Hand washing liquor is sure for a daily necessity of every household. I mean all of us use it every day. However, most of the brands hand washing liquor on the market contain artificial chemicals. Which cause damages to human body and environment. From the beginning, we wanted to manufacture our own brand of hand washing liquor, which is totally natural, non-toxic, safe and environmentally friendly.
To achieve our objective, we used only natural materials to produce our hand washing liquor. By doing researchs and experiments, we successfully invented a new type of washing liquor with grass ash, orange peel and sucrose. Since only eco-friendly materials are used, our liquor is definitely harmless to human body and nature. In fact, the residue left in process of production can be used for irrigation.
Along with natural materials we used to make our liquor, what makes our product so unique is experiences of really using it. Not only we concerned about how eco-friendly our liquor was but also its scent and cleaning ability. Our hand washing liquors have fresh and sweet scent of orange. You will notice a big difference compared to artificial scent.
On the other hand, we talk about cleaning ability. Amylases were made by sucrose and orange peel could remove starchy dirt efficiently, while alkali in grass ash could corrode dirt. You could even use it to wash your dishes.
We really hope that the sweet scent of our liquor can bring smile to people living in Hong Kong. That’s why we named our brand “Orange Smile”.
Our aim is to provide our consumers a fresh/ green experience /when we use our hand washing liquor.
希望可以幫到你
收錄日期: 2021-04-11 19:39:58
原文連結 [永久失效]:
https://hk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130327000051KK00386