This is what happens when you just start typing. Opinions/comments/advice?

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Okay, this is how it really happened…

First, I created the universe… which
was not easy, by the way,
because I literally had NOTHING to work with.
Then, I had to start all over,
because, well, let’s just say things
didn’t go so well the first time.
Look, mistakes were made, okay?
Sh*t was flying everywhere…
I received thousands of angry letters.
Don’t look shocked!
I shouldn’t have even mentioned it, probably.
Okay, so I created the universe, again,
(it was much easier the 2nd time because
I had all that junk left over from the first screw-up),
and things were going pretty well---
I won’t say “according to plan” because
there’s never really a plan with these things…
I mean, sure, you have HOPES…
But I digress… Okay, things are going smoothly.
I create the Earth, yada yada yada…
Time passes, yada yada yada…
Anyway, long story short…
I was there…watching the first fish struggle to crawl on land.
I hovered five feet above the muck and encouraged him out of the shallow water with little kissing noises.
Look, I’m not bragging. It was PURE coincidence. I was just out for a stroll. I had NO IDEA it was going to be such an important step in the evolutionary process.
Hell, I even toyed with the idea of eating the little fellow, but it was nasty-looking, and I had just had a few hot dogs about an hour earlier.

Look, you’re obviously wondering why I’m here…
I mean, you don’t know me from Adam, and well, that’s not cool, cause Adam was kind of a jerk, if you want the truth. And I’m not talking about that whole “apple” thing---that was blown wa-a-ay out of proportion… No, I mean Adam was just a real schmuck from start to finish. The guy had a chip on his shoulder---what can I say? Even Eve hated his guts. He was a moody son-of-a-b*tch.
I politely offered him the chance to give names to the animals... and do you know what he said? He told me to do it myself! So I DID! And then that bastard didn’t like the names I came up with, so he changed them, and rearranged them, and well, things got so confusing... I tell you, I almost scrubbed the whole mission right there…

Okay, where was I?
Oh, right!
You were wondering what I’m doing here…
Oh yeah.
Ummm, I just wanted to warn everyone
about the giant black hole
in the center of the universe.
Ahhh, yeah. It seems it’s gotten a little out of control.
Not that it was ever really IN control…
I mean, you can’t control a frikken black hole, ya know?
So anyway, long story short…
Black hole—
Out of control—
Yada yada yada,
You’ve got three weeks to live.
Have a nice day.

In your prayers,
God
:)