英文高手入黎幫幫手!!!幫我改ASSAY文法!20點

2013-03-03 2:00 am
ASSAY 篇野好像不夠流暢, 而且有文法錯誤.請幫忙更改, 好人有好報, 有20分,以下5XX字左右, 應該很快改完, 麻煩你!Do you agree physical lesson in school for every day? The physical lesson of Hong Kong is be included as a part of the regular school curriculum, all students should take part in physical education at least one lesson in a week. However, some opponents of physical education state that physical education lessons are simply a waste of time, and maybe take away the students’ effort and academic achievement. It has been commonly believed for a long time that children should not be exposed to great amounts of physical activity because their bodies are too weak for it. On the other hands, physical activity can bring many advantages for students, such as health and development of the students. However, someone believes that students are essential having a physical lesson for every day. In my view, I do agree with this statement. There are three reasons to show this and will be discuss as follow: Health of Students, Development of Students, and Relieving Students’ Stress.
First of all, physical lesson can enhance students’ health and physical activity is well-known facts in healthier, lower risk of heart disease and most of all obesity. The current lifestyle allows many youngsters to spend a lot of time indoors watching television or playing video games that make them hardly have time to play outside. Moreover, they dietary choices of many Hong Kong students are no use to their bodies. Most are addicted to the fast-food culture. These fast foods cannot provide the necessary healthy nutrition essential for growth of many children. For the sake of high fatty contents foods and deficiency in exercises, people would become unhealthily and being obesity. Thus, having a physical lesson in every day is important for students healthier.
Secondly, the physical activity is essential component of childhood development; the physical activity programs offer students an opportunity to develop their minds and bodies.
更新1:

Through the physical lesson, students can promote their self-image, self-confidence.A healthy physical education program is supposed to give challenging and achievable goals. They can learn also able to make important choices, have perseverance, and also learn to respect their peers.

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In addition, high school children can start focusing on team-building, as well as, more developed sport strategy. Therefore, the physical lesson can enhance the development of minds and bodies for students. (second paragraph finished)

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Thirdly, the physical activity can relieve students’ stress. In fact, lots of Hong Kong students are feeling stressed and anxious in their examination and homework. In order to get higher marks of their examination, they rather to study at home for long time even without a movement.

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So,many students’ stress come to higher levels and can’t release their stress. In fact, movement promotes the development of brain cells and then stimulates endorphins production. Endorphins are body chemicals, which aid in the creation of calmness, happiness so as to relieve their stress and pain.

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Thus, the physical lesson is essential be a part of the regular school curriculum in every day. (third paragraph finished)

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The factors above show that physical lesson is essential be a part of the regular school curriculum in every day. We can see that the physical lesson can enhance the students’ health. Also, the physical lesson is essential component of childhood development.

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Moreover, the physical activity can relieve students’ stress. In fact, children are more active than adults, the physical education being much of benefit to them and which most children like the physical lesson.( finished) support copy and palse to mircosoft word to modifying

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To:yeungandsam thank you very much but還有3段沒有改...我想身體health &心理HEALTH分開講 因為我要個格式同我一樣 尾要restate the thesis

回答 (2)

2013-03-04 1:43 pm
✔ 最佳答案
Do you agree that physical lessons should be held everyday? In Hong Kong, physical lessons are part of the regular school curriculum, and therefore all students should be taken part in physical education at least once a week. However, people who are against it state that physical lessons are simply a waste of time. These lessons just take away the students’ energy and do no effect on academic achievements. Also, it has been commonly believed that children should not be exposed to great amounts of physical activity because their bodies are too weak to afford it. By contrast, some people believe that it is essential to let the students having a physical lesson every day; because physical activities can bring many advantages for students, such as health issues and mental development. In my point of view, I do agree that students should be involved in physical lessons. There are three reasons to show this and I am going to discuss them.
First of all, physical lessons can enhance students’ health. Many people know that doing more sports makes people healthier and it lowers the risk of getting different diseases and thus obesity. The current lifestyle of many youngsters is so unhealthy. These couch potatoes spend a lot of time watching television or playing computer games that make them hardly have time to play outside. Moreover, many Hong Kong students do not have a healthy diet and they are addicted to the fast-food culture. Fast food cannot provide essential health nutrition for the growth of children. Taking in the high-fat food and the lack of exercises, people would become unhealthy and being obese. That’s why having a physical lesson a day is important for maintaining students’ health, especially for those couch potatoes!
Secondly, the physical activity is an essential component of childhood development; the physical activity programs offer students an opportunity to develop their minds and bodies.

2013-03-04 05:45:45 補充:
Furthermore, high school students can learn to perform team work and sport strategy with their peers. In this process, they can learn how to respect each other. Therefore, physical lessons can enhance the development of minds and bodies for students.

2013-03-04 05:46:48 補充:
3rd:Last but not least, the physical activities can relieve students’ stress. Lots of Hong Kong students are feeling stressed and anxious in their examination and homework. In order to get higher marks of their examination, they would prefer studying at home for long time even without any movements.

2013-03-04 05:47:05 補充:
Then, the pressure comes to higher levels and cannot be released. In fact, doing exercises enhances the development of brain cells and stimulates endorphins production. Endorphins are body chemicals, which help people feel calm and happy so as to relieve people’s stress and pain.

2013-03-04 05:47:33 補充:
Therefore, these students need physical activities.

2013-03-04 05:48:09 補充:
The factors above show that physical lessons are crucial to be a part of the regular school curriculum. We can see that the physical lessons have lots of advantages. Also, children are more active than adults so physical education can satisfy their activeness and I believe that they would enjoy it.

2013-03-04 05:49:01 補充:
Omg, I just hate it!!!!
參考: Through the physical lessons, students can improve their self-confidence. A healthy physical education program is supposed to give challenging and achievable goals, which make the students learn how to make important choices and also trains up their determination.
2013-03-03 10:35 am
Do you agree that physicallesson should be held in school every day? The physical lesson of Hong Kong isincluded as part of the regular school curriculum. All of the students should take part inphysical education at least once a week. However, some opponents of physicaleducation state that physical education lessons are simply a waste of time, andtake away the students’ effort to a certain extent. It had been commonlybelieved for a long time that children should not be exposed to tremendousamount of physical activity because their physical strength cannot afford it.On the contrary, physical activity can bring many advantages for students, suchas health and physical development for the students. However, some peoplebelieve that students are essential for having physical lesson on a dailybasis. In my viewpoint, I do agree withthe aforementioned statement. There are three reasons to support myopinion. First of all, it can help topromote the health and development of the students and relieve theirstress. This is a renowned fact and itlowers the risk of developing heart disease and obesity. The youngsters nowadays spend too much timein watching television and playing video games in which outdoor activities isout of the question. They also eat toomuch junk food which does not provide them with the appropriate nutrition. All of these are not salubrious to them. Lastly, the physical activity is essential inthe sense of developing their physical and mental well-being.
參考: Myself


收錄日期: 2021-04-20 14:15:54
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