Writing求改

"I went to Apple Plaza at the north of London yesterday. I took a taxi to the plaza. It consisted of three buildings. There were many people at the plaza. Here were so many different kinds of shops there, such as toy shops, jewellery shops and food court. First of all when I entry to the entrance I saw a large doll display at the plaza entrance. The doll was beautiful. Secondly, I visited a jewellery shop. There were many different kinds of jewellery. A staff of the shop promoted the some jewellery which was likely to should be suitable for me. The sales told me the features of those jewelleries. I chose one of jewellery from those. After that, the toy shop. There were many toys there as much as you can think of trains and cars, etc. I spent most of time to searching for an Orange-Brand train. I found it as last. It cost just $50. Finally, I felt so hungry. Therefore, I had lunch at the food court. The dish was delicious. At last 4:30pm, I left the plaza."

"I went to Apple Trading Company Limited for a job interview yesterday. I arrived at the company around 2:30pm. There were many people at the company already. I was sit at the interview room. There was a European style round table stand middle of the room. At 2:45, a handsome plump gentleman entered to the room.

2013-03-02 10:07:27 補充：
your word wasn't finish so Iony can help you to finish those I saw.

2013-03-02 11:23:52 補充：
Was is ok. but the problem is "European product"
We usual write:European style table or made by/from European. because it is a style
usual we won't use European product or Chinese product on writing. because its hard tell which kind of European product.

I went to Apple Plaza in the north of London yesterday. I took a taxi to the plaza. It consisted of three builidings. There were many people in the plaza. There were different kinds of shops there, such as toy shops, jewellery shops and canteens.There was a big doll in front of the entrance of the plaza. The doll was beautiful. Firstly, I visited a jewellery shop. There were different kinds of jewellery. A staff there promoted three kinds of jewellery which were suitable to me. He told me the features of the three kinds of jewelleries. I chose a kind of jewellery from the three kinds of jewelleries. Then I visited a toy shop. There were many toys, such as trains and cars. I spent thirteen minutes on searching for an Orange-Brand train. I paid $50 for the train. Finally, I had lunch at a canteen. The food were very tasty. On4:30pm, I left the plaza.

I went to Apple Trading Limited Company to have a job interview yesterday. I arrived at the company on 2:30pm. There were many people. I was led to an interview room. There was a round table. At 2:45, a fat man entered the room. He was handsome but his fingers were short.

你全篇是記述昨天的事情和所見所聞，寫法用past tense是正確。跟內容裏的東西是甚麼時代或那時製造的動詞時態無關的。你作文時要注意甚麼時態是主軸，例如那plaza是上年建成昨天存在明天仍在，而無論我們是形容它的facts還是feeling平時我們會寫the plaza is beautiful或the plaza is big，但寫記事便會寫成the plaza was big. 文章內重覆名稱我只打了藍色，可選用代名詞。 "Iwent to Apple Plaza in the north of London yesterday. I took a taxi to the plaza. It consisted of three buildings. There were many people in the plaza. There were different kinds of shops in the plaza, such as toy shops, jewellery shops and canteens. There was a big doll in front ofthe entrance of the plaza. The doll was beautiful. First,I visited a jewellery shop. There were different kindsof jewellery. A staff of the shop promoted []three kinds of jewellery which were suitable for me[].He told me the features of these three kinds ofjewellery. I chose one piece of jewellery fromthe three kinds of jewellery . Then I visited a toy shop. There were many toys,such as trains and cars. I spent thirteen (13-好細緻準確的計時，還是30分鍾=thirty) minutes in searching for an Orange-Brand train. I paid $50 for the train. Finally, I had lunch at a canteen. The dishes were very tasty.At 4:30pm, I left the plaza."

"I went to Apple Trading Company Limited to have a job interviewyesterday. I arrived at the company at 2:30pm. There were many people in thecompany. I was led to an interview room. There was a round table that belonged to the company.[在這公司裏的一張枱當然是屬於這公司的-寫這句有點多餘] It was a European design. At 2:45pm, a fat man entered the room. He was handsome. His fingers wereshort."