Proof reading , help.

Secondly [see note], there was not enough fun stuff for kids in the “newsletter”. Most of the articles seem to be written for parents and not for students. Do kids really care about “The Principle’s Message”? We hear the principle everyday on the intercom! Do kids care about “The School Council report”? No! We want some television reviews, and some articles on new (disc? popular music CD?) and groups [What is “groups”? Chat groups? Extracurricular activities? Please be specific!].Note: Firstly, Secondly, …這種+ly的寫法已經被英語家評為劣詞，應/可改為原形First, Second, …已經足以清楚表達。你可請教老師他的看法。

2013-02-26 10:23:40 補充：
Refer to your first section:
"newsletter" → school newspaper

由於是新一段落，主題(主角)最好重述一次

Secondly, there were not enough fun things for the kids to play. Most of the articles' target audience seems to be the parents but not the students! Have you ever in the kids' perspective that do kids really care about "The Principle Message"? We almost her the principle talking everyday on the intercom! Do you ever think the kids care about "The School Council report"? No! We want to do some television reviews and some article on the new disc and groups instead of boring "Principle Message" and "School Council Report"! We want to have some fun!

Secondly, there was not enough fun stuff for kids. Most of the articles seem to be for parents and not for students. Do the kids really care about “The Principle’s Message?” We hear the principle everyday on the intercom! Do the kids care about “The School Council's report?” No! We want some television reviews, and some articles on new discs and groups.