求評ENG WRITING(HKDSE)LEVELS?

Don't ignore your unhappiness
Depression is becoming a common issue among teenagers,as they need to face lots of homework,exams and assignments at school. Students who are suffered with depression would feel frustrated and pessimistic about their future, and some of them even become suicidal and out of temper. It is clear that we should not overlook depression which is frequently happening on students.

I have a friend who had suffered from depression as he failed to manage his own affairs properly. He used to be optimistic and positive in case of dealing with problems. But recently he had been changing into different situation when facing a public exams. As we know that exam's result will greatly decide our future and most students usually make an effort to prepare before the exam.

My friends Chris,as his exam's result does not turn out as good as he expected and therefore he has to concentrate in studying diligently and always burn the midnight oil. He has become exhausted after school and feel low interest about everything, except studying. He used to played basketball everyday at school,but it is rarely to be seen as the public exam being approaching. One day,he was suddenly shouting,crying and throwing things out of the window. What is worry about being not the object that he threw hit someone badly,but his behavior is completely insane and he seem to be out of control. We had informed what happened to the teachers immediately,and they had to contact with his parents to find out what happened to him.
2013-02-13 16:12:41 補充 As ignoring your unhappiness,the consequence might be grave. A students who was kill himself by jumping from the rooftop a month ago. The reason of this tragedy is that the student feel hopeless and no one capable to share his problem. That and depression will not brother you again.

score:90

has some grammar error, too much adj ( just like a poem)


but at all, it is a beautiful comprehenion

85.5marks


评语： 作者词汇基本功很好，在学术词汇方面希望能更熟练的使用；可适当增加连接词和衔接词的使用；若注意一些语法错误，文章会更漂亮。