各位好，可以幫我看此篇英文作文有估問題嗎？

To engage in voluntary work is very important and meaningful to me. On several occasions of voluntary work had raised my skills of solving problems and co-operation with others.

For instance, taking part in “Volunteer Day” held by my class had enabled me to learn how to be a leader. Because, there are opportunities for me to organize activities that had gained experience. Being a leader of a team had had many things to do, i.e.connecting the nursing home to discuss the detail of that activity, supervising the preparation of entertaining performances, preparing the appliances for use in that activity, just to mention a few.

Having been taking part in voluntary activities for 3 years, I have learned several ways to deal with argumentative people, planning a schedule so as to ensure things to proceed smoothly. Learning those skills has enabled me to work with others opportunely and I believe that will be applied in my academic future.

Engaging in voluntary work has been an important and valuable experience for me. It allowed me to develop a variety of skills, two of which are communication and problem solving skills.

For instance, taking part in "Volunteer Day" held by my class enabled me to apply leadership skills. The opportunity to organize activities allowed me to gain a lot of experience.There are many tasks a leader must do. Contacting nursing homes to discuss the details of the activity, supervising the preparation of performances, and preparing the appliances needed in activities are a few examples of the daily tasks I performed.

After volunteering for three years, I have learned several ways to deal with argumentative people. I have also learned to plan ahead in time by making a schedule to ensure things proceed smoothly. Learning these skills has enabled me to work well with others and I believe that the skills I have acquired will continue to benefit me in my academic future.

Feedback: Sorry, my Chinese typing isn't that great but here are some areas you might want to improve on...

(1) You mention problem solving skills and communication skills in your intro, but the following two paragraphs do not focus on these points. The second one focuses on leadership skills and I'm not sure what the third one focuses on, I think it's problem solving?. You might just want to switch communication to leadership in the intro.

(2) Try to reference problem solving in the third paragraph after "After volunteering for three years" to make your writing flow better. It'll also match the two points you mentioned at the top.

That's all I can think of for now. I'm not sure what your word limit is but if you're short on words you could definitely expand your paragraphs more!

Engaging in voluntary work is important and valuable to me. The experience in voluntary work improves my problem solving skills and communication skills.

For instance [原文用錯字唔應該intense(強烈)吧-小心類似的詞], taking part in “Volunteer Day” held by my class had enabled me to try to apply leadership skills. The opportunity to organize activities had allowed me to gain lots of experience.[cause是引致…機會是主詞…不會引致你得到經驗，這機會只是讓你得到經驗。下次你參加工作引致你受傷才用cause] Being a leader [寫錯字larder-係真有這英文字查吓係點解!]of a team had to do many things ]]]— communicating with [connect雖然用於通訊業的廣告口號-但本身意思是物質上的連接才用的] the nursing home to discuss the detail of that activity, supervising the preparation of entertainment performances, preparing the appliances which would be used in the activity, just to name a few.[這段文法上運用正確…條理和層次都good]

After taking part in these voluntary activities for 3 years, I have learnt several ways to deal with argumentative people, planning a schedule to ensure things proceed smoothly. Learning those skills has enabled me to work with others opportunely [這個字意思是有幸地…懷疑是否你的意思?] and I believe they will be applied in my future academic works as well.

Ok，但是如果點過去式會更好

2013-02-05 17:24:31 補充：
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