麻煩批改英文作文

My dear friends,

It has been a long time since we met last time. How have you been doing? I really miss you.

My school will take place a garden party on April 6, and the day is my birthday, too. I hope you all can come and wear your comfortable clothes then we will have a happy time together. Of course, I will be your guide.

We will sell pearl milk, stinky tofu and some other food in our classroom 301. What's more, we have designed plenty of activities. When you come, we can enjoy delicious food, play interesting games and chat together. That would be great!


All money we earn will donate to the foundation caring for the homeless children. That's all. I am looking forward to your coming.


Best wishes,

Jane
Feb, 2,2013

2013-02-04 13:35:01 補充：
給:Pious Panda 專家大人

"一個錯誤百出的答案"看了真是讓小的惶恐，惴惴不安。 深恐誤人子弟， 那真是罪過。相信版大看了也難過， 您介意幫忙把它訂正過來嗎? 一方面讓大家走在正確的學習路上 ，令一方面證明閣下真是眼光獨特，明察秋毫， 當然，在下將感恩不盡 ， 萬分感謝您的指正。

2013-02-12 20:17:47 補充：
非常謝謝冰封玫瑰知識長您費心的指導，今後會更加努力學習，希望可以把錯誤減到最低。

對這題最佳答案雖然有點失望，不過至少沒有翻譯機跟廣告氾濫的問題。 Tsao 的英文是有不完美的地方，不過謙虛要求指正，倒是令我欣賞... 英文區缺「人」 。共同加油囉~

2013-02-08 05:39:07 補充：
這段是你寫的
My school will take place a garden party on April 6...

什麼事件在什麼日子, 什麼地點舉行
A/An 事件 will be taking place at 地點 on 日子….
A school fair will be taking place at my school on April 6.

2013-02-08 05:39:35 補充：
這是你寫的I hope you all can come…

正確寫法應該是
I hope all of you can come…

2013-02-08 05:40:13 補充：
這是你寫的wear your comfortable clothes
在英文是以 dress code 來決定什麼是正當的服飾

No dress code. (隨便穿)

還有其它: Casual, Business Casual, Business Informal, Black Tie/Semi-Formal
請參考http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dress_code

2013-02-08 05:40:24 補充：
要下班了 待會再上來…

我想我的英文程度並沒有很好
所以我才會請各為大大幫我批改文章

我很感謝有很多人幫忙批改
但是畢竟我只能選一個

那我當然是選最淺顯易懂的
而且我真的不知道哪裡有錯

有問題大家提出來 我知道大家都希望自己是最佳解答
但是對我而言 是比較容易懂的文章 對我來說最好學習啊

怎麼做都不對 可以彼此將心比心?

2013-02-15 21:39:33 補充：
不過有網友說有5個錯誤

要麻煩Tsao &其他網友的幫忙了

Maybe, let it stay will make it more polite!

版大您好，我會盡量在不影響你的語氣下幫你修飾文法及用詞，
( )裏為不必要的字，粗體底線為修改過的字，如下:


Dear all,

I have a good news to tell you. A school fair will be taking place at my school. I hopeyou can come, and I will make your trip worthwhile. The date is (on) April sixth, which is also my birthday, and that is why I hope all of you will be here, as we have not seen one another for a long time. There is no dress code, so you can wear anything you feel comfortable.
The event will be held in Classroom 301(my classroom). We will be selling the all-popular (the) pearl milk tea(Taiwanese proud) and stinky tofu, along with (Taiwanese night market) other food commonly found in night markets.
We also have plenty of activities to keep you entertained. All money (we) earned willbe donated to the Homeless Children Foundation (caring for the homeless children).I am looking forward to your coming.
整合如下:

Dear all,

I have a good news to tell you. A school fair will be taking place at my school. I hopeyou can come, and I will make your trip worthwhile. The date is April sixth, which is also my birthday, and that is why I hope all of you will be here, as we have not seen one another for a long time. There is no dress code, so you can wear anything you feel comfortable.
The event will be held in Classroom 301. We will be selling the all-popular pearl milk tea and stinky tofu, along with other food commonly found in night markets.
We also have plenty of activities to keep you entertained. All money earned will be donated to the Homeless Children Foundation. I am looking forward to your coming.
Sincerely, Jane
Hope it helps!

2013-02-02 13:16:10 補充：
Hope it helps = 希望有幫助。

不需留著

2013-02-02 16:23:37 補充：
Haha MSG Sir,

You are quite a funny lot!

2013-02-03 22:54:33 補充：
白目版大選了一個錯誤百出的答案

Dear all,
There is a school fair coming up on my campus on April 6th, which is also my birthday. I hope all of you can come and hang out together since we have not met for a long time. There is no dress code, just come and have fun.

You will reach me in room 301, we sell the popular Taiwanese bubble tea, sticky tofu and many others you will only find in the Taiwan night market. There are also many activities that you guys can attend to. By the way, all the money we make are going to charity for homeless children. I am looking forward to seeing you all.

Sincerely,
Jane

2013-02-02 05:54:26 補充：
stinky tofu... sorry.