I need do a presentation 7 mins topic is The impact of using mobile phone老師話要先 write speaking 大網比她看,我做了(下邊)但感覺好怪有d錯,可否幫我大改盡改內容下,句字可刪,可改咩都得。
Outline of the presentation
Introduction: Nowadays people using of mobile phones
Main ideas: The positive impact brought by using mobile phones
Second ideas: The negative impact brought by using mobile phones
Conclusion
Introduction
Have you ever wondered why phones are so desired by people today?
Nowadays almost every people has a mobile phone. According to the reference to the HKDE, peopleranging from 16 to 60 averagely have 2 mobile phone.
From time changes, ID phone take instead of cell phone. I-phone, Samsung S-3, etc appear sagurantly
The positive impact brought by using mobile phones
improve communication between people
convenninet, and many functions
fashionable and very common for normal citizens
Addiction
Teenagers who become addicted to using the phone and have to be weaned of its usage by parents.
people spend lots of time on their mobile phones, and less time with family and friends
Dangerous
Stories are commonplace of people having an accident because they were distracted while driving and talking on a mobile phone.
Health
While the topic remains controversial, there are people who believe the microwave radiation the phones emit can cause such problems as cancer from prolonged use.
Conclusion
All in all,phones are good for people and people would struggle without them
Everyone today wants and desires mobile phones.Its used for almost everything, everyday.
(eng好急)幫幫手,改我篇作文大網....20
2012-11-13 6:11 am
回答 (3)
2012-11-13 8:39 am
✔ 最佳答案
IntroductionHave you ever wondered why phones are so desired by people today?
change to
Introduction
Have you ever wondered why mobile phones are so desired by people today?
Nowadays almost every people has a mobile phone.
change to
Nowadays most of the people has a mobile phone
From time changes, ID phone take instead of cell phone.
ID phone
need to add s
cell phone
The positive impact brought by using mobile phones
was brought
2012-11-14 4:39 am
----An Oral Presentation 7 minutes topic on The Impact of Using Mobile Phone(including reading the Chinese News Editorial!)-------
Good Morning. My talk today examines why mobile-phone is so popular. The subject of my 7 min.talk is about positive and negative impacts about using mobile phones.
I intend to outline why people desires the Phone! The main features of people between 16-60 have got 2 i-phones on average.
----The first point:-As time changes,the ID phone being taken cell-phones,mobile-phones,i-phones,Samsung S-3 etc., had appeared sagaciously(=a good judgment and understanding) as I would like to discuss about.
-----The second point:-It has improved communication between people,been fashionable next, and been functional last and many others ,are what I would like to discuss about purposely.
-----Clarifying the word"weaned=stopped". In other words teenagers who become addicted to use i-phone had to be weaned(=stopped) by their parents or senior friends.
-----Changing the subject,so I've discussed about accidents which were caused by its distraction to drivers and pedestrians alike,while driving and talking on the "ID".
-----Moving on to health as the last subject,the radiation emitted might cause cancer for prolonged use.
-----Concluding,so I've talked about i-phone's good points and the struggles for it. Everyone today wants a mobile phone for use on anything and couldn't live without it.But is it true?And therefore I consider that's the end of my 7 min. oral presentation.THX
Good Morning. My talk today examines why mobile-phone is so popular. The subject of my 7 min.talk is about positive and negative impacts about using mobile phones.
I intend to outline why people desires the Phone! The main features of people between 16-60 have got 2 i-phones on average.
----The first point:-As time changes,the ID phone being taken cell-phones,mobile-phones,i-phones,Samsung S-3 etc., had appeared sagaciously(=a good judgment and understanding) as I would like to discuss about.
-----The second point:-It has improved communication between people,been fashionable next, and been functional last and many others ,are what I would like to discuss about purposely.
-----Clarifying the word"weaned=stopped". In other words teenagers who become addicted to use i-phone had to be weaned(=stopped) by their parents or senior friends.
-----Changing the subject,so I've discussed about accidents which were caused by its distraction to drivers and pedestrians alike,while driving and talking on the "ID".
-----Moving on to health as the last subject,the radiation emitted might cause cancer for prolonged use.
-----Concluding,so I've talked about i-phone's good points and the struggles for it. Everyone today wants a mobile phone for use on anything and couldn't live without it.But is it true?And therefore I consider that's the end of my 7 min. oral presentation.THX
2012-11-13 10:36 pm
(1)almost every ppl --> almost everyone (另要知:every +單數,e.g. every dog has 2 ears.
(2)according to HKDE
(3)people from 16 to 60 have 2 mobile phones on average.
(4)"From time changes, ID phone take instead of cell phone. I-phone, Samsung S-3, etc appear sagurantly"
意思不詳....(乜係ID phone???? , 乜係from time changes??????? take insead?????=>replace??)
(5) convenient
問題多到唔改喇, 因為逐樣執唔係辦法.
概括問題:
(1)唔好copy & paste 呀老友: "While the topic remains controversial, there are people who believe the microwave radiation the phones emit can cause such problems as cancer from prolonged use."
(2)文句: 用短d ge句子, 因為冗長錯grammar,意思含糊到估唔明你講乜.短d, grammar 冇咁易錯(得離譜)
(3) expression:
everyone/ everybody (not every person)
people/ the public/ the general public (not normal citizens......)
唔好用google/ yahoo/any translator.....用平日自己抄下來的words/phrases....
(4)內容
"fashionable and very common for normal citizens" : 不是impact.
"people spend lots of time on their mobile phones, and less time with family and friends" 要想:除時間"quantity"外, 還有"quality",可以寫得好唔表面的.
分positive impact 和negative impact 係好好的organisation. 花心思/想多d/想深d 這兩點的arguments. (而conclusion 不一定是總結/完結/說mobile phone是好/是壊,更好是反思/提問)
improvements:
睇SCMP young post
睇明珠台周末大電影
睇中文報紙社評
(2)according to HKDE
(3)people from 16 to 60 have 2 mobile phones on average.
(4)"From time changes, ID phone take instead of cell phone. I-phone, Samsung S-3, etc appear sagurantly"
意思不詳....(乜係ID phone???? , 乜係from time changes??????? take insead?????=>replace??)
(5) convenient
問題多到唔改喇, 因為逐樣執唔係辦法.
概括問題:
(1)唔好copy & paste 呀老友: "While the topic remains controversial, there are people who believe the microwave radiation the phones emit can cause such problems as cancer from prolonged use."
(2)文句: 用短d ge句子, 因為冗長錯grammar,意思含糊到估唔明你講乜.短d, grammar 冇咁易錯(得離譜)
(3) expression:
everyone/ everybody (not every person)
people/ the public/ the general public (not normal citizens......)
唔好用google/ yahoo/any translator.....用平日自己抄下來的words/phrases....
(4)內容
"fashionable and very common for normal citizens" : 不是impact.
"people spend lots of time on their mobile phones, and less time with family and friends" 要想:除時間"quantity"外, 還有"quality",可以寫得好唔表面的.
分positive impact 和negative impact 係好好的organisation. 花心思/想多d/想深d 這兩點的arguments. (而conclusion 不一定是總結/完結/說mobile phone是好/是壊,更好是反思/提問)
improvements:
睇SCMP young post
睇明珠台周末大電影
睇中文報紙社評
收錄日期: 2021-04-13 19:06:08
原文連結 [永久失效]:
https://hk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121112000051KK00588